Andy Schlafly is an idiot and Steven Colbert is handing this half witted

[WCGreen]

product of conservative incest his hat...

These conservatives christians that mimic popular culture to try and get more people to listen to their bankrupt message are exposing themselves as the charlatans they are. If they truly believed their message and had faith in that message, then they wouldn't have to whore out their packaging to the mimicking of the very same pop culture they make millions railing against.

The people who follow these modern day tent preachers must be desperate to buy into their shit.

The thing is, the more they are exposed the more people flock to them. After all, it is the left wing culture that is out to git 'em.

I know it's been going on since the first ancestor claimed he could speak for the spirits. That still doesn't make it right especially since most of the mysteries have been solved.



Edit Spell check changed his name. I corrected it...

[dixiegrrrrl]

1. The idiot said Jesus was for a free market!

Then gave a biblical reference of how Jesus gave some guys some money and the one who did not turn a profit was sent to hell.
I think that is what I heard..I was busy spewing.

[anonymous171]

2. What. The. Fuck. nt

[dixiegrrrrl]

3. I know...I was stunned, speechless.

The horse's ass was dead serious.

Actually, that is scary.

[WCGreen]

4. I never heard that story....

Here is how it went

Jesus gave three different guys three differnt amounts of money. One got 5 coins, one got 3 and last one got 1.

The first two guys doubled their money. Andy never said how. But they ended up getting blessed.

The guy who had one stayed with one and was sent to hell.

Yep, that's what the guy said. Re-writing the Bible for an economic agenda...

[dysfunctional press]

6. i always found that parable to be kind of out of place in the bible...

i wonder who got it inserted. :shrug:

[cornermouse]

18. Back before the Silent Majority/Gingrich/neo-con thing

I was taught that story applied strictly to talents and abilities, not money.

[chemenger]

25. Matthew 25:14-30 - The Parable of the Bags of Gold

Stated in simpler terms ... "For everyone to whom much is given, of him shall much be required." -Luke 12:48

Just another one of Christ's teachings that Conservatives cannot begin to comprehend. Christ is saying that you are to use the talents and abilities given to you to help your fellow men/women, not make a profit off of them.

[Orsino]

27. And lo, did Andy Schlafly take his considerable talents...

...and hide them up his ass. When Jesus called him to account, Andy did say, "Lord, verily have I used out-of-context quotes from your teachings to justify the misery caused by unregulated corporate power." Then did Jesus shake his head in sorrow.

[dysfunctional press]

28. that's one interpretation.

btw- how exactly is it saying that you shouldn't make a profit from them?

my lutheran school didn't see it that way.

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

7. This is the Conservapedia bible rewrite guy, isn't it?

These people are so stupid that stupid is actually embarrassed to be associated with them.

[bridgit]

5. No doubt, says he: Wants To Rewrite The Bible To Remove 'Liberal' Content

As one of Phyllis' little cherubs it's probably too late for an intervention

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34270487/ns/us_news-faith

[aquart]

11. Matthew 25, right? He didn't read far enough.

The Parable of the Talents
14"Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. 15To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.

19"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'

21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

22"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'

23"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'

26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

28" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

The Sheep and the Goats
31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Footnotes:

1. Matthew 25:15 A talent was worth more than a thousand dollars.

[WCGreen]

12. A talent was, I believe, a roman measure of gold...

[TlalocW]

13. It's Matthew 25

The religious right/conservatives like to point to it as proof that God wants them to be rich, etc., but it's one of Jesus' parables meaning it has a deeper meaning than what's on the surface, and it's about using your resources (whether material or natural talents) wisely no matter what your station in life is. I recall reading a story where a former prayer buddy of George W. Bush talked about how that was W's favorite part of the Bible that he studied the most.

Another one conservatives love is a story about a rich man who hired workers throughout the month, and when it came time to be paid, he paid them all the same amount, no matter if they had been working the entire month or had just worked a day. Republicans love to throw that up as proof that God loves the free market system, and business owners should be able to pay whatever they want for jobs, but once again, it's a parable about how it doesn't matter when someone comes to God, about how someone who's been a Christian for years shouldn't feel himself to be superior to someone who just became one because their rewards will be the same - eternal life in Heaven.

TlalocW

[FreedomRain]

8. Close enough

Matthew 25:14-30

I used to have a much more benign view of this particular story. It is sandwiched in with a bunch of other parables about the Return, by the way.

Means Jack-all about the "Free Market" of course.

[pansypoo53219]

9. if anything

it means estate sales should be higher.

[WCGreen]

10. I actually LOL.....

[Touchdown]

14. What's with his voice? He sounds like he huffed anti-helium.

No wonder he works on the internet. His voice is like an old Dodge's gears grinding.:puke:

[dmr]

16. That laugh of his is creepy, too.

I felt dirty after watching him.

That guy Cohen on Rachel tonight, then this jerk on Cobert - ewwwww!

:puke:

[charlie]

15. Andy's the one who's inserted the words "jerks", "moron", and "airhead" into the Bible

No, really.

He's also changed references to wine into "freshly squeezed grape juice", because his crack scholars don't believe they were imbibing in the Bible.

Really.

Exhortations to "REPENT!" are now "Get your heads straight!"

If you haven't been following the conservative rewrite, you oughta. It's a hoot.

When John saw how many Pharisees and Sadducees came to be baptized by him, he said to them, "You jerks! Who has warned you to flee from the divine sentence that's coming to you?
...

But I tell you that any person who is angry with his brother shall be liable for trial, and anyone who says to his brother, "Airhead!" shall be liable to be brought before the council, but whoever says, "Moron!" shall be liable for the fire of hell.

[ima_sinnic]

17. & now I can only wonder how many other "rewrites" have been done over the past 2000 yrs

--besides the fact that the legends and myths told by cave-dwelling goatherders and tentmakers around the ole campfire have been turned into some kind of "Holy Word of God" that somehow means jack, I mean. Oh, no, nobody with any agenda has ever "edited" those words. In fact, those goatherders and tentmakers were speaking English, just like their "god" whose "words" we now have!

[charlie]

21. Just the differences in the Gospels alone

indicate agendas. For one thing, the story of Jesus gets more fantastical in the later versions. Then there are the different canons. If they're all God's Word, some of them are missing books we ought to hear.

Still, Andy's the one fooling with what he thinks is the holiest of the holies. You'd expect he'd have more of a sense of gravitas and decorum, instead of injecting words like "airhead" into it. I mean, would you do something like that to Shakespeare? "The lady doth protest too much, methinks" -- "I think the lady protests too much" or "I think she's full of shit?" Andy's dumb enough to prefer the latter, I'm sure.

[ima_sinnic]

29. lol! (nt)

[Raine]

19. Must be Phyllis's

son. x(

[charlie]

22. It is n/t

[Le Taz Hot]

20. Question.

Is he related to Phyllis Schlafly?

[Douglas Carpenter]

23. yes, this from Wikipedia which he loathes about Conservapedia which he founded

Conservapedia is an English-language wiki-based Web encyclopedia project written from an Americentric, Christian conservative, and young earth creationist point of view.<3> It was started in 2006 by lawyer and social studies teacher Andy Schlafly, son of conservative activist and Eagle Forum founder Phyllis Schlafly .<4><5> He stated that he founded the project because he felt that Wikipedia has a "liberal, anti-Christian, and anti-American" bias.<6>

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservapedia

[Le Taz Hot]

24. Well, I see he inherited his mother's lunacy.

I remember her anti-ERA rants about how passage of the ERA was going to make us all Lesbians, practice witchcraft and kill our children. :crazy:

[charlie]

26. Episode is up now

on Colbert's site:

http://www.comedycentral.com/colbertreport/full-episodes/index.jhtml?episodeId=258126