*EMERGENCY*- How fast can you get your hands on a golf club?

[underpants]

How fast can you get to the end of your driveway with said golfclub (with or without a golfCART)?
Are you Scandanavian?
Can you pull a world class athlete out of the THE BACK OF an SUV?
Is it 2:25AM?
Do you think you could HEAR a wreck at the end of your bunkered house? and what is the probability of it just happening to be your world class athlete husband?



Do you think that if any of this did happen the police would take 3 days to "talk" to you? even after your hospital visit?



Tiger... please. I love you man but you (and ESPN) can't smudge the camera lens THIS MUCH

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

1. I would imagine there are a few of them

in that house, she could have taken a golf cart to the accident? or maybe she missed his head?

[LakeSamish706]

2. I agree, someone has to come clean here... This thing is growing legs very quickly....

"Not my favorite golf club" Geez, use your head not my golf club... I guess I can't blame them for trying to cover this up, but something is amiss I fear.

[tabatha]

3. Maybe he has to take some time to sort things out with his wife.

There is no time limit on that.
There are no other parties involved - he should be allowed some privacy.

[underpants]

6. Well there are other parties involved

if you get in a fender-bender in a parking lot of say a Target that is NOT in the jusrisdiction of the police

in this case the cops were called

it becomes a public concern when police are called

[AspenRose]

4. You are so funny

:rofl:

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

5. A couple of seconds.

[mitchtv]

13. It helps if you already have one in your hand

just saying

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

15. Clubs in the trunk, study, bedroom, garage.

[underpants]

17. Yeah

he just has 5 irons laying around. He doesn't have a specific set of clubs that are locked down safer than a White House state dinner

:sarcasm:

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

23. I know a few golf pros and they all have lots of clubs laying around.

Tiger probably demos several sets for Nike a year. Elin may have gone through the garage to see what happened, I have 9 clubs in my study and at least 23 currently in the trunk of my car. I'm guessing Tiger puts that to shame.

[LakeSamish706]

24. Sorry, but I think there is more to this story than = "Wife rescues husband using golf club". n/t

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

28. Who exactly doubts that there is more to the story?

People who don't own guns for protection routinely use what they might have lying around the house. For some it's a wrench, for others a baseball bat, I'm guessing in the Woods household what would commonly be grabbed is an old golf club. They may have gotten in a huge fight, he left, then she heard a loud noise since Tiger was gone she grabbed a golf club and went to see what made the noise. I'm doubtful the she got him out of the vehicle without lots of assistance from him. I'm a decent sized fella and it's always hard to get my dad out of the car since his stroke and he just weighs about 160. Instead of speculating we should just wait and see.

[LakeSamish706]

32. No argument there.... n/t

[pengillian101]

25. Indeed. n/t

[OffWithTheirHeads]

35. Me too. My clubs are about 4' further than my 1911

cause ya never know.

Golf clubs don't kill people, chicks swinging a 4 iron at their husbands heads kill people.

[The Straight Story]

7. Can you easily reach the front of an SUV from the back window?

And if so, are you blonde? :rofl:

[underpants]

10. Susan can

[Better Today]

43. Cute, really. . . . but a person can unlock the hatch, and crawl through the vehicle

after breaking a back window which would be safer for Tiger than breaking the one near him.

[The Straight Story]

48. Or one can think: Maybe he wrecked because someone smashed out his window while he was driving

;)

[Better Today]

54. One could if one wanted to ignore all the other known facts, like he seemed

out of it, confused but not drunk or any alcohol.

Sounds like Ambien sleep-driving, which is becoming quite a problem, these sleeping activities that sleeping pill users are experiencing. I know a fella that apparently got up, got online and gambled all night and doesn't remember any of it. Managed to win a tidy sum, so no need to lie about whether he remembered.

Let's just all wait till we hear what's really going on. It's such a disservice to jump to hyped, melodrama before we know anything.

[CatWoman]

8. poor UP

:)

I was wondering how you were dealing with this

:)

[underpants]

11. I heard about at my folks house

bunkered in for the holiday

None of us thought this added up

I love Tiger but money may cover things but it doesn't change the usual subjects - money, "booze", money, sex (relations), and .... of course.... money (and all that it brings)

[underpants]

56. We have a pic!!!

HMG) – While it seems these days we should not be overly shocked about the private lives of anyone, this rumor leaves me in disbelief. Supposedly golfer extraordinaire Tiger Woods is cheating on Elin Norgegren, his wife of six years and mother of his two children, with Rachel Uchitel (photo top), the same woman that Bones star David Boreanaz allegedly had an affair with when his wife was pregnant earlier this year. The National Enquirer in this week’s issue, has pictures of Uchitel, 34, arriving at Tiger’s hotel in Melbourne, and claims the affair has had tour stops in New York, and Las Vegas as well. National Enquirer stories run the gamete of fiction to right on the money, so while I hope this story isn’t true, it bares watching.

http://www.hotmommagossip.com/2009/11/26/the-tiger-woods-having-an-affair-rumor/

[Robb]

57. "Bears." It "bears" watching.

Goddamnit.

[MrModerate]

9. I suspect golf clubs are close at hand in the Woods' household. Just sayin' n/t

[tomm2thumbs]

12. surprised this hasn't been investigated as domestic abuse, given the circumstances

If police are being 'turned away' from interviews, is that how the law works in domestic violence cases? They just say 'come back after the marks have healed'... this is getting really ridiculous. If the police are playing dumb they are going to look far worse in the long run than if they take this case seriously.

[underpants]

14. Windermere Fla

it's the kind of place where the police are told what to do, not the other way around

[pengillian101]

30. No kidding!

The cops look like idiots already.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

36. Hey, it worked for Cheney

[Better Today]

55. I've yet to see a credible source claim any domestic abuse occured. If anyone

thought he was in danger from his wife, I imagine he wouldn't have been allowed to return home while she was there or the police would have removed her. Apparently there isn't enough evidence or complaint to justify the police doing anything more than question Tiger which he was as yet unwilling to do.

It may turn out you're right, I just think waiting is a better choice. I trust Tiger enough to believe if he thought he was in danger from his wife, he wouldn't return home. He doesn't strike me as an idiot.

[flvegan]

16. My Pings are in the other room, so 5 seconds.

My driveway isn't very long.

I'm not Scandanavian.

Yes.

Not yet.

Obviously, I'm totally Tiger Woods' wife. Or something.

[underpants]

18. Wow

Really?

We need to talk

[LakeSamish706]

19. So this whole story begs the question: Did tiger have an affair with Rachel Uchitel? n/t

[Rick Myers]

20. Anyone know what club she used?

I'm thinking a sand wedge...

[merh]

33. Don't be silly.

You don't use a sand wedge to get out of the rough.

I'm thinking it was a pitching wedge.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

37. Apparently it was a really bad lie so I'm sure she clubbed up.

[merh]

44. I didn't realize that Tiger was having such a problem with the bump and run.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

49. Oh, I think he's getting the run part down.

[merh]

53. I don't think he ever imagined he would face these types of problems

just for playing a round.

[pscot]

21. As I understand it

They had an argument. She accused him of cheating. She scratched his face. He disengaged, went out and got into his car. She followed with a golf club (no word on whether it was a wood or an iron). As he pulled away she beat on the car with the club. Distracted, he hit the hydrant. The doors were locked so she entered through the back, opened the door and got him out of the front seat. Cops said when they arrived he was on the ground next to the car, dazed and bruised. She was kneeling over him in hysterics. He was sober. Minimal damage to property. Neither party have filed a complaint. If this had been Jimmy the barber and his wife Chloe, it would have ended with a blotter entry. Instead the cops (Florida Highway Patrol?) are going back to investigate. Fuck thepolice. Fuck the press. If he's smart, he'll take a months vacation in Thailand and let his lawyer handle it.

[WolverineDG]

26. In your scenario, Jimmy would have been arrested for family violence assault nt

[pscot]

34. On what grounds?

Chloe is the one who lost it. The dude is married to a jealous woman. She tried to snatch him bald headed. He tried to disengage. Is it his fault she chased him down the driveway beating on his Cadillac with a mashie-niblick?

[OffWithTheirHeads]

40. I'm pretty sure she does not use wood shafts

Mashie-Niblick indeed.

[WolverineDG]

58. Seen it happen too many times nt

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

31. What is your source in regards to the "cheating" and the physical altercation?

[peaches2003]

38. But as I understand it

in FL when the police are called and there is any evidence of domestic abuse the police HAVE to investigate and file an abuse charge themselves if there is injury to one spouse by another. This is protect the many women (and I suppose some men) who are scared and intimidated by their spouse into not filing charges and then it happens again. So the FHP has to investigate.

[populistdriven]

50. best post yet

[texanwitch]

22. I would think finding a cell phone would be more important.

You know, to call 911.

I have golf club, one golf club.

I found it driving down a street, really.

You could really hurt someone with it.

This story smells.

[FarCenter]

27. Gives new meaning to "The First Wives Club"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116313/

[tularetom]

29. Can't wait till the tour starts up after the first of the year

Can't you just hear tightass Jim Nantz at the Masters ("a tradition unlike any other") trying his damndest to avoid talking about this incident?

[underpants]

45. Turn on the CC and hear Nantz avoid using verbs

First down. Favre. Peterson. 2 yards. Second and 8.
(Phil Sims)
Second and 8. Empty backfield. Fever connects, 4 yards. 3rd and 4
(Sims)
Third and 4. Favre. Imcomplete. Vikings will punt.

[bridgit]

39. Scandanavian? Um, yeah, but I'd still have to go all the way to Scan-dia for any kind of golf club

30min down the road http://www.scandiasports.com :(

[alfredo]

41. Remember it was his mouth that got injured. It may be too painful to

talk. The swelling alone will make talking very difficult.

Was the back window broken before or after the accident? Don't know. If a golf club wielding woman was after me...

Most likely he was looking in the rear view mirror, not where he was driving.

[Better Today]

42. I think you all just want there to be something scandalous. It sounds to me like

it was nothing more than an Ambien-influenced late night sleep-driving.

Think about it. So she hears a problem, sees the problem, gets the golf club, but doesn't want to break the front window where he might get glass on himself or his eyes, so instead she breaks the back window (side windows don't break very easily compared to front and back glass which is designed to be removed quickly in case of accidents) and climbs through to unlock the door which she can now reach from the back seat. Unlock the back seat, get out, pull (drag) him down and out. Makes perfect sense to me.

Get over you desires for drama until there is such a time as drama is evident.

[hunter]

46. My mom is Scandinavian.

If she's angry and holding a golf club the wisest thing to do is RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

[the blues]

47. I just gotta say...

...This is one helluva thread.

[pscot]

59. Around here the fun never stops

Welcome to DU.

[1]

51. there is no woman scorned like a scandanavian woman scorned. trust me on this one...

i *wish* she had only come at me with a golf club...

[tuckessee]

52. Golf club? Not very fast.

But then again I played baseball so my #1 choice for a beatin' stick is a fungo bat followed by an ax handle as my back-up though for thrashing people nothing beats a good ol' fashioned pistol whipping, preferably with a revolver.