Newsflash on Newsiness

[NanceGreggs]

It seems that along with the Colbert-coined phrase “truthiness”, another word should be added to our lexicon: “Newsiness”.

Definition: The recounting of events, as presented by the current crop of mainstream news broadcasters, that almost smacks of being accurate reportage of stories of import – only kinda sorta, not really, you’d almost think so, but …

No one could argue that what is passed off as the news these days is in any way wanting in terms of quantity. There’s plenty of it for those strong-of-stomach and weak-of-mind – a veritable cornucopia of endless blathering, available 24/7 for those prone to insomnia, those infamous couch-potatoes who will watch anything that purports to be “news” as they use their remote to round-the-horn one last time before falling asleep.

But quality? Oh, well, now you’re asking for something that you can’t hear, given that the background noise – a combination of the sound of the death knell of true journalism, along with the whirring of Walter Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow spinning endlessly in their graves – tends to obliterate any actual news reporting that might, albeit inadvertently, occur.

Not being a “TV journalist” myself, I’m not sure what awards system is in place for the recognition of excellence – or even above-average mediocrity – in today’s world. But if there is a statuette awarded for Accuracy in Reporting, it’s last recipient was undoubtedly a weatherman in Bumfuck, Montana, who announced at 5:17 a.m. on April 26, 2005, that Big Ed’s Fishful Thinking Emporium on Transit Road was having a spring sale on bait (which it actually was), thereby accidentally allowing a fact – (and without any accompanying editorializing about same) – to be sent out over the airwaves to be heard by the twelve Bumfuck residents who were tuned-in at the time.

Perhaps, by virtue of my not being aware of the criteria for such awards, I am ignorant of the categories in which present-day “journalists” compete. But I’m guessing they include Best Use of a Crowd Scene Meant to Mislead the Viewers, Creative Editing of an Interview (a.k.a. the “Out of Context” plaque), and the coveted Don’t Ask Me, I’m Just a Teleprompter Reader award for bubble-headedness deemed to be above and beyond the call of demonstrating one’s personal ignorance and stupidity for all the world to see.

Given the aforementioned, I just wanted to go on record as declaring the following to the powers-that-be who, for worse or even worser, control the news media…

I am not the least bit interested in what Dick/Liz or ANY Cheney, John McCain, Billy-Boy Kristol, David Frum, et al have to say about anything.

I am equally uninterested in how many people showed up at Sarah Palin’s most recent book-signing, what Levi Johnston has to say about that, or who will be wearing who at this year’s Teddy Awards.

If I want to be apprised as to whether this is the coldest/warmest November on record, I will GO TO THE ACTUAL STATISTICS – and not Sean Hannity’s mindless meandanderings on same.

If I actually wanted to know what was going on in politics, I wouldn’t – no, not in a million years, and then some – turn to CNN’s “Best Political Team” for the information I seek. Quite frankly, I’d be better off going to the Bumfuck, Montana, website and reading what Big Ed has to say on the topic.

Candy Crowley, Campbell Brown, Anderson Cooper, Bill O’Reilly, Wolf Blitzer – Geraldo Rivera (for Christ’s sake!) – these are the “journalists” whose opinion I should be listening to? Well, fuck me gently with a wire brush, but – well, I’d actually prefer being fucked with a wire brush than listen to these idiots proffer their “take” on anything more meaningful than my Aunt Camille’s lime-jello-with-caraway-seeds contribution to Thanksgiving dinner, and society as a whole.

If I felt an overwhelming desire for opinion along with my news, I would conduct an impromptu survey of my fellow subway-riders during rush hour – ya know, those people who are actually impacted by manufacturing plants closing their doors – rather than the airheads (all of whom are pulling down six-figure-a-year salaries or more) – who pervade my TV screen 24/7 and babble on and on, as though they know what it’s like to find a pink slip tucked inside your last pay envelope, as though they know how it feels to realize coverage of your life-or-death medical tests have been denied by your insurer, as though they know (or care) what’s going on in the real world beyond runaway brides, Angelina Jolie’s last rant, a saga about a boy-in-a-balloon, and how Obama is destroying American life as we know it – or once knew it, before airheads got access to the media.

Let’s get down to the fact of the matter – and we can deal with this quickly, because there is only one fact at play here: The news IS the news. It is a series of events, statements, occurrences and/or government and/or local actions that impact the lives of the citizenry. It is ideally presented to the public without editorializing, political bias, fabrication, trick-of-the-eye videotape splicing, non-facts being proferred as facts, statistics taken out of someone’s ass, “reliable sources” being Twittering twits and/or Facebook philosophers, AND the “opinions” of people who are long on microphones and studio time and short on even a modicum of integrity.

In short, if we actually wanted your opinion, we’d ask for it. And given the caliber of those offering their opinion, not to worry – we won’t be asking for it anytime soon.

“Are you talkin’ to ME? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?”

All I can say is that if you are indeed talking to me, you’re talking to someone who doesn’t give a flyin’ fuck what you have to say – and I’m hardly alone in that stance. I am MILLIONS strong in holding that opinion. And you’ve got – oh, yeah, Wolf Blitzer.

Well, as one real journalist once said, “Good night – and good luck.”

[givemebackmycountry]

1. "Good Luck"

We need a lot more of that and a little less "good night"

Great post Nance.

[Torn_Scorned_Ignored]

2. I should have stopped

reading this "rant" here;

Candy Crowley, Campbell Brown, Anderson Cooper, Bill O’Reilly, Wolf Blitzer – Geraldo Rivera (for Christ’s sake!) – these are the “journalists” whose opinion I should be listening to? Well, fuck me gently with a wire brush, but – well, I’d actually prefer being fucked with a wire brush than listen to these idiots proffer their “take” on anything more meaningful than my Aunt Camille’s lime-jello-with-caraway-seeds contribution to Thanksgiving dinner, and society as a whole.

[saltpoint]

3. It's the Thanksgiving weekend and one of the things I'm thankful for is

that while way too many people are listening to all manner of shit on FOX News, we here on DU can read a post of this caliber, and it's not the only one of its kind.

Thank you, Nance.

[lob1]

4. Sleight-of-hand magicians use misdirection to do their tricks.

The left hand waves around in the air while the right hand secretly palms a coin. These guys aren't journalists, they're the misdirection to grab our attention, while the people who tell them what to say secretly steal our money. I hate what passes for journalism these days. Good rant, Nance.

K & R.

[Odin2005]

5. K&R, Oh, look, Tiger Woods, OMG!!!...

[sudopod]

6. We are being played for suckers.

Virtually every time we rip into one another, it's because of a misleading story. After the dust settles and the truth has been outed, the ill feelings remain and the energy used is slow to return.

[NanceGreggs]

7. Too true ... n/t

[Grey]

8. Good Rant....

Thank you.

[The Wizard]

9. Fucked with a wire brush

Yee Hah, you're tough.
What, no mention of Dick Morris and Glenn Beck?
"It feels like a red hot buzz saw inside my head." Thus spaketh Cody Jarrett.
As I've stated many times previously, I stopped watching the news during the Clinton witch hunts and impeachment.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

10. Great rant, my dear Nance...

Done with so much intelligence and style...

Thank you!

K&R

[Oldtimeralso]

11. All This Time I Thought Bumfuck was in Iowa,

Does Brian (the Gov Of Montana) know this?
If it is true I Owe the World anApology.

[NanceGreggs]

12. ...

:rofl:

Thanks, Oldtimeralso!

[BlueMTexpat]

13. Well, Nance, much as I concur with your sentiments, I almost

became offended at the fact that my hometown of Bumfuck, MT was being singled out ... until I realized that those 12 tuned-in residents were actually the best informed in the whole country, at least by the standards of today's broadcast media! Thanks for the honors!

:rofl:

************
Seriously, for some good political commentary on MT, I highly recommend Left in the West at http://leftinthewest.com/ and it also features among the links on DU.

[NanceGreggs]

14. I have "singled out" Bumfuck, MT ...

... in quite a few rants now.

If there IS such a place, I think a statue of myself in the town square is in order!

:rofl:

[BlueMTexpat]

15. There is actually a "Bigfork" that has most of the same consonants,

(and probably some of the inhabitants routinely "singled out") but it's actually quite a nice place to visit. Because it is located in the midst of a staunchly "red" Bible belt area, regardless of its natural beauty and generally excellent summer theater (in large part thanks to the relative proximity of the University of Montana in Missoula), living there would be an agony for such as me.
A statue of you would be an honor for any town, although in your archetypical example, your statue might be mistaken for that of Sarah Palin, whether you resemble her or not. After all, SP's admirers include those who routinely find the image of Jesus in a pancake or some such.

:loveya:

[Bette Noir]

16. I miss real news.

The difficulty of discerning the facts, among the drifts of drivvle, is a waste of our collective national time.

In a perfect world, I'd like to read one (or two, or three, for the different localities that are dear to my heart) honest, unbiased newspaper (which would then recycle itself-- we're talking about a perfect world, here), and then turn to Keith for commentary.

First the facts, then the commentary.

[grantcart]

17. Bringing out a new word "DUziness" of which you abound.

And what the fuck is up with David Frum? That prick is everywhere. Fox, CNN and now NPR has him on so much he now gives weather and traffic reports. I expect to see him on the cooking channel with brownie tips and the guest emcee on WWE. How does a person who is so consistently wrong on just about everything get such exposure?

I don't know who his agent is Nance but you should sign him/her up get published all over the place.

[saltpoint]

18. Let's give this a little kick while we watch over the next few days to

see how the mainstream media manage the Huckabee connection to the Lakewood shootings.

Let's also compare their coverage to the Willie Horton coverage during Poppy's campaign against Michael Dukakis.

Not that I'm suspiciously partisan or anything.

[DFW]

19. As the son of a celebrated (print) journalist, I can only shout "hear hear!"

I lost my father in late November, 2000. He died confident that Al Gore would be inaugurated in January 2001.

It was just about the only thing I ever remember him getting wrong, and he never lived to find out.

He was cited in the Congressional Record for fairness by Senators and House members from both right and left.
He received numerous awards, was president of this and that, including the Gridiron Club. In the late sixties,
he used to chat with two members of the Senate he called "Bob." One was named Dole. The other was named Kennedy.

He was positively disgusted with the direction taken by most TV practitioners of his profession in the 1990s. He
was incensed that Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp were considered bigger news than Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden,
or the soaring U.S. economy. He never lived to see that become just the tip of a very big and very ugly iceberg.

He knew the good guys. He knew the bad guys. He saw them all the time. He was friends with Jack Anderson, Art
Buchwald and Helen Thomas, just like he was friends with Bob Novak, whose voluntary descent into right-wing quicksand
he never really grasped.

I never followed him into journalism, although the way would have been well-paved for me with all the personal
connections he left me. When he was alive, and even after he died, first-time encounters with members of Congress
or the press were a snap with the comment, "you're HIS son? hey, you're welcome any time," and I was. I still
keep close contact with a few of them, especially Helen Thomas. But his shoes were just a little too big for me
to fill, and so I took another path. That's probably just as well, as I do not suppress my opinions as well as
he did in his writing. He used to laugh when he got angry calls from the office of New York's two Senators,
D'Amato (R) and Moynihan (D) when he exposed something they would have preferred not be exposed (his paper
was in upstate New York). He was a staunch Democrat, but never failed to let them have it when he thought
it to be the truth, and he always checked it out to make sure it WAS the truth, or else he wouldn't write it.
Fox wouldn't have given him a job even as a janitor.

But one thing I did learn growing up with him was the nature of true journalism, and what we are fed these days
on the media ain't it. When Candy Crowley and Wolf Blitzer are "the best political team on television," then we
are in BIG trouble. I have heard from people inside CNN that Blitzer HATES having to repeat that every twenty
seconds, but at his salary, he follows orders, even when they include making an idiot of himself by repeating
that as often as he does. We don't notice it so much, since Blitzer makes an idiot of himself so often anyway.

What we are now fed in the USA as TV news is mostly anything but. A few facts (sometimes, anyway), followed by ten
times as much air time for right-wing-slanted "analysis." I'm stationed here in Europe for much of the year, and
what one sees on the BBC or the German news is so much more objective, it hurts. They don't seem to need to evaluate
themselves as the "best team" of anything, just like the true war hero does not shove his medals in people's faces,
or tell everyone he meets of his valiant deeds. It's always the wannabes that make the most noise. That's the case
now in TV "journalism" as well. We need a few more true journalistic heroes and less "best political teams on
television."

Good luck--I wish. As far as journalism goes in America these days, there doesn't seem to be much of it to
spread around.

[mlevans]

20. Ms. Greggs, you leave me, as usual, in a quandary.

You see, I dream of a world in which these things you raise your pen against would no longer pertain. Yet reading your work invariably puts a big smile on my face. How shall I ever resolve this? Perhaps a utopian state is the wrong dream for me. In any case, another great message here. Thanks.