Top 10 uses for "Going Rogue" By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Top 10 uses for "Going Rogue"
You have found/run over a copy of Sarah Palin's "book." Now what?
By Mark Morford

Did you think I was going to say toilet paper? Or birdcage liner? Something to do with animal waste in general or perhaps roadkill, moose droppings or Alaskan elk carcasses in particular?

Well, I am not going to say that. It's just far too easy, and obvious, and does nothing to give either "Going Rogue" or the former VP candidate its/her proper respect, and, of course, by "respect" I mean quivering lamentable hellshot of blinding cerebral pain that makes you wince as though you've just been smashed in the face with a hammer.

Here then, a far more artfully compiled list of things you can do with the former Alaska governor's book -- or, as millions might say, "book" -- should you accidentally stumble across one in a trash bin somewhere, which is very likely indeed, given how it will surely be available in the remainder bin at Wal-Mart in about three weeks, and you can pick up an entire pallet for about five bucks and a dead chicken. ...

(click here to read the rest)

(Full URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2009/11/25/notes112509.DTL&nl=fix)

[BrklynLiberal]

1. Morford is always great!!

[era veteran]

2. I would not put this manure in my compost heap

My compost heap is like an old friend. I just couldn't put toxic manure in it. Too many bad bacteria lurking, you betcha. LOL

[Javaman]

4. Are you referring to the writer, the article or it's subject matter? nt

[era veteran]

5. Golly, all of them, you betcha

[Javaman]

7. ahhh, I see, you just enjoy being a dick. That's cool.

everyone needs a hobby.

[sarge43]

3. That man has such a way with words.

"watch his eyes turn flaming plaid with excitement"

"lug nut of a husband"

:spray:

[LWolf]

6. My favorites:

<snip>

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Studies have shown that consuming foods grown using compost made from the pages of any book written by conservative politicians and/or Fox News pundits may result in bloating, brain damage, grammar mutilation and the mad desire to taxidermy your cat.

:spray:

and <snip>

6) Torture device. A no-brainer, really. Got a suspect in custody? A nasty Taliban leader hell-bent on undermining America's love of shopping malls and sparkling vampires and free streaming porn? No problem. Strap 'em down, gag 'em up, and watch their eyes widen in horror as you pull up a chair and begin reading. "Going Rogue." It's the new waterboarding!

7) Unruly child becalmer. (Similar to above, only family friendly). Got a kid who refuses go to bed? Won't stop screaming for another bedtime story? Whip out "Rogue" and threaten to read more words from "the scary bright-faced lady who talks like an encephalitic ferret who's been smacked by a baseball bat and won't shut up." Your kids will pipe down in an instant.


:rofl: