Heroin Addicts Pressure President To Stay Course In Afghanistan

[Ichingcarpenter]

LOS ANGELES—As the White House considers sweeping strategic shifts in the war in Afghanistan, heroin addicts across the nation called on President Obama Monday to stick with the current U.S. policy, which has flooded the world market with low-price narcotics.

"There's no need to change nothing, Joe Biden," said addict Reginald "Bones" Dillow, who, when conscious, is an outspoken proponent of the U.S. military strategy that has resulted in a nearly 40-fold increase in Afghan opium production since the end of Taliban rule in 2001.

"Everything is so cheap—it's all totally fine like it is, right? Over there, I mean. Why would you want to…do the…."

Obama is reportedly looking into economic incentives that would both persuade poor Afghans to cease opium cultivation and benefit chemically dependent Americans, the most promising of which involves constructing facilities in the war-torn country for the manufacture of methadone.


http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/heroin_addicts_pressure

[mdmc]

1. stand down when the Afghans stand up!

[saigon68]

2. Welcome to the "Shooting gallery"

</sarcasm>

[JohnnyLib2]

3. What's the line? "Best comedy has a touch of truth?"

Score one for The Onion.

[Ichingcarpenter]

4. Heroin is another word for

The Military industrial Complex.

Usually consumed by Beckerheads.

[reggie the dog]

5. Afghan hash is down to 5 euros a gram uncut in France

I have see it for as little as 3 a gram in coffeehouses outside of Amsterdam.....