My Great Fabulous Gay Uncle- R.I.P

[JanMichael]

When I was little Uncle Dick was *married* to another man named Richard... Dick and Dick! (Dick died years ago of a brain tumor-- it was awful) We LOVED it when they came to visit, and since we lived on the East Coast, every Christmas we kids would start asking at around 6:00 AM...is it time to call California? Are they up YET???

Uncle Dick was my grandmother's brother-- hence the "Great." He came out in the fifties, but I didn't know because I wasn't born. I also didn't care-- none of the adults gave me any explanation of the "other Dick" and the kids could have cared less-- they were fun!

I never realized until I was in my thirties how very fortunate I was to not only have a fabulous Uncle like that, but to also have adults around that didn't bother to mention that he was gay. They let me think it was just normal and natural...which it was. We grew up without predjudice towards non-hetero unions.

Weren't we lucky to have him! The hospice worker told me on the phone tonight "your mother was his very favorite!"

I am so proud.

By the way, if anyone wants to see what he looked like, he was the hot tennis player that leaned against a piano and sang in "A Night to Remember." (1958) Yep, that was him-- hot, talented and a truly Great Uncle.

[niyad]

1. k and r-- RIP, dear soul.

thank you for sharing such a marvelous part of your life with us. may he and his husband be at peace, together.

[JanMichael]

2. He just died two hours ago

I am trying to see them together looking like they did in 1967! Thank you. He really was amazing.

[niyad]

8. how are you doing?

[JanMichael]

11. Crying for me; so glad he has no more pain

and like I wrote below...I know of a few folks that are glad he's "home!" And I hope he gets to dance with Fred Astaire!

[givemebackmycountry]

3. Yeah... I like this post.

It makes me happy.

;-)

[BlooInBloo]

4. To the good memories, :))))))

RIP.

[sdfernando]

5. Wonderful story

He truly does sound amazing and you were fortunate not only to know him and his partner, but to have such a open and loving family....thanks for sharing this part of you life with us.

[Libertas1776]

6. RIP Uncle Dick.

:hug:

[stevedeshazer]

7. Sorry for your loss.

I hope he passed with ease.

[JanMichael]

10. He did. I called the lady that sat with him while he died-

She and her husband loved him; she said it was the most peaceful passing she has ever seen.

I imagine he's having a pretty good reunion right now with my Great, Great Aunt Annie, Dick, and his folks--

And hopefully Fred Astaire ;)

[stevedeshazer]

16. That is awesome.

:)

[SmileyRose]

9. Hugs

The laughter and the tears get all mixed up. It's wonderful to have someone in your life that does that. I'm glad for you.

[imdjh]

12. is this him?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okgLvnAh8Gg

00:39

[JanMichael]

13. I will go look at that on my desktop

I am on a netbook and didn't see a guy leaning on a piano! But, I will and get back to you. He was incredibly handsome when he was young! Thanks for finding that!

[dickthegrouch]

14. So Sorry for your loss

Glad you have such wonderful memories of him.

Dick

[patrice]

15. What a fine family you have! Your Uncle Dick enriched your mind and heart.

You would not be who you are without having him in your life.

We will see Our Love Ones again.

Om namah Shivaya!

[JanMichael]

17. Thank you!

I can't believe I am in my forties, still have my mom's folks (my grandparents-- Uncle Dick was Granny's brother)...and I feel cheated from not having enough time!

He was a total scream-- and will be so missed.

[Lugnut]

18. I'm so sorry for your loss.

What a beautiful story of a loving, caring family. May Dick rest in peace. :hug:

[Rick Myers]

19. All Good Karma your way...

And Godspeed Uncle Dick!!!

[Toasterlad]

20. Thanks For Sharing This Story...And Thanks To Your Uncle For Being a Pioneer

Thanks to your family for their acceptance, and my condolences on your loss.

[JanMichael]

22. I didn't know he was a pioneer until I was in my thirties.

Can you believe that? I know it must sound ignorant, but he was just Uncle Dick. Not "gay" Uncle Dick-- not someone anyone was ashamed of-- just an uber cool Uncle (come on, he was in a movie-- granted I can't find the clip right now, but he was ;) ) that lived on the West Coast and traveled to Hawaii.

But, he really was. Interesting. No closet-- just lived his life.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

21. My deepest and sincerest thoughts, prayers, sympathies and condolences to you and your family

You were very fortunate to have an uncle like him and also to have adults in your formative years who were so open-minded and compassionate. Your uncle sounds like a wonderful person who made the world better for his having lived in it. Your tribute to your uncle profoundly moved me beyond words. I'm so sorry for your loss:hug:

[JanMichael]

23. Thank you-- I am stunned

at how very lucky I have been. Seriously. I don't know what I did karmically to deserve the people in my life-- but, I am so grateful.

[merh]

24. I'm sorry for your loss

How lucky you are to have such a wonderful uncle and family.

I hope he is dancing with Fred Astaire and having a heck of a reunion.

:hug:

[MSchreader]

25. My condolences

To you and your SO from me and my SO.

[Vidar]

26. A worthy tribute to your fabulous uncle. My condolences.

[ConsAreLiars]

27. K&R. You've said it all well, so respect, admiration for your mentor, and condolences, and n/t

[lawrencefox]

28. lucky indeed

My uncle was David and he passed in S.F. at the peak of the AIDS crisis in 1993 I came out to him when I was 16 and he was always there for me, I used to fly up for Gay Pride and Christmas almost every year.

Our pets names for each other were Becky and Elizabeth.................I miss Aunt Becky alot.....tears

[niyad]

29. belated welcome to DU-- by the way, your screen name is the same as a wonderful actor in the

pbs "inspector lewis" series--any relation?

[omega minimo]

30. Awesome, joyful tribute!

:bounce:

[Touchdown]

31. He sounds like a wonderful man. Celebrate his life.

It sounds like he would want you to.

[Withywindle]

32. Condolences to you and hugs to your family.

It sounds like he had a wonderful life. (He was in "A Night to Remember"? AWESOME! It was SO much better than "Titanic," IMO). Honestly, it was rare in the time period of his lifetime for his family to welcome him and his partner fully and wholeheartedly. That's a GIANT blessing. It's rare in the time period of your lifetime to have a family that thinks love is a fine thing, not something to hide away or "protect" the children from. That's a GIANT blessing for you.

RIP, Uncle Dick. :toast: and a big :hug: to you for your loss, and for this post.

[Hekate]

33. What wonderful memories to cherish. May Uncle Dick and Dick rest in peace...

:hug:

Hekate

[winyanstaz]

34. I am sorry for your grief and loss.

It is never easy to lose a loved one. Keep very busy and keep friends close.

[mdmc]

35. --