"1. You will buy Glenn Beck's book.
"2. You will let Glenn Beck stick his dick in your ear.
"3. You will listen to everything y'all hear."
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http://gawker.com/5410066/glenn-becks-scary-blueprint-for-world-domination-in-2010-unveiled-the-plan?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+gawker%2Ffull+%28Gawker%29&utm_content=My+YahooGlenn Beck's Scary Blueprint for World Domination in 2010, Unveiled: "The Plan"
.... Funny, then, that they found out that The Plan was for them to spend more money on Glenn Beck, The Brand. ... ....
Kinda sounds like a cross between Avon and the Left Behind series, right? Except with scarier salespeople who have drier hands.
Yeah, Glenn Beck's got a plan: for the next 100 years, he's gonna keep writing books and making TV shows, and his fans are going to keep buying into both of them. It's kind of genius. His entire multimedia empire is predicated on one, long, 100-year plot arc: that the main character will make viewers'/listeners'/readers' lives better so long as they're with him every step of the way. The man will make references to revolution, to change, to bringing everything back to a fundamental state. The beautiful irony he has to see and embrace—in order for this to have worked as long as it has—is that the only real movement he'll be making is into better cars and larger houses. The kinds that are far away from the rabid zombies who salivate at every vague allusion to blood and violence Mama Bird spits out like discarded pieces of chewing gum for them to suck every last grain of sweet flavor out of. The kind, if provoked, and unleashed, are as much as a threat to anybody as they are to him. A "random act of violence" is never really that random, is it? Especially when the word "radical" gets thrown around over, and over, and over. ....
Then again, evil, as we're all aware, is a scary, subversive force, and comes in all forms, at all times, with little to no discretion. Beware. ....
Send an email to Foster Kamer, the author of this post, at foster@gawker.com.
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