Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be

[Vinnie From Indy]

How many of us know people like this? Cheers!


ESCONDIDO, CA—Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head.

"Our very way of life is under siege," said Mortensen, whose understanding of the Constitution derives not from a close reading of the document but from talk-show pundits, books by television personalities, and the limitless expanse of his own colorful imagination. "It's time for true Americans to stand up and protect the values that make us who we are."
According to Mortensen—an otherwise mild-mannered husband, father, and small-business owner—the most serious threat to his fanciful version of the 222-year-old Constitution is the attempt by far-left "traitors" to strip it of its religious foundation.

"Right there in the preamble, the authors make their priorities clear: 'one nation under God,'" said Mortensen, attributing to the Constitution a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, which itself did not include any reference to a deity until 1954. "Well, there's a reason they put that right at the top."

More at:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/area_man_passionate_defender_of

[CanonRay]

1. The willfull ignorance is astounding

[Cirque du So-What]

2. I see this sort of delusional 'constitutional scholar' every day

I do battle with teabaggers, freepers & freelance loons on a daily basis in the online comments section of my local Gannett fishwrap. I try really hard to remain civil, but when faced with such blatant stupidity, it's hard to resist the temptation to ask how these 'scholars' got to be sofa king smart - especially in light of the fact that some of them probably didn't bother to finish high school.

The Constitution has been subject to interpretation since the day quill pen was put to paper, and some of the finest legal minds our country has ever produced have devoted their lives to divining the intent of the founding fathers and attempting to apply its passages to contemporary issues. That's why it's particularly galling for these anti-intellectual reverse snobs - too hamstrung by their own lack of critical thinking skills - to parrot some RW talking point about the Constitution when they don't have a fucking clue as to what they're arguing.

One bright spot is the opportunity to bring up Barack Obama's law degree & years of teaching constitutional law. It makes a nice backdrop on which to display their ignorant bliss during the 8 years that WhistleAss used the Constitution for asswipe.

[HughBeaumont]

3. Man, I cannot rec this article ENOUGH.

The thing we have to fear is Teabaggetry growing ever further into a full-blown Idiocracy.

[Gold Metal Flake]

4. Once again, The Onion is more truth than satire, despite being complete satire.

The real version of this fictional character call Steph, Thom, Randi, Ed, Mike and Ron every day.

[Vinnie From Indy]

5. shameless kick

Fugetaboutit