Just got a (bleep)-ing "War On Christmas" e-mail.

[Archae]

:grr:

Had this absolute bullshit in it:

Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*

*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*
*See the PC Police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
* December 25th is just a ' Holiday '.*
*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter..*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*
*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*
*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*
*So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'*
*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*
*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*
*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS ,
not Happy Holiday !*
Please, all Christians join together and
wish everyone you meet during the
holidays a
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Christ is The Reason for the Christ-mas Season!

[Kerrytravelers]

1. My resonse would be as follows:

What a small world you live in. It's a shame you must find divisiveness at the time of year when most people find joy.

Remove me from your email list. I do not wish to communicate with someone who has such a negative view of the world outside their own created reality.

I would go ahead and block them from your email. Why tolerate such nonsense? :shrug:

[Mad_Dem_X]

22. That's an excellent response.

I'll have to use that one if I ever get this sickening email.

[Roland99]

28. A better reponse, imho.....

I was unaware that the government had taken over your church and not allowed you to pray according to your beliefs in your own church.

I was also unaware that the government had taken over your private home and has forbidden you from praying to your god and from practicing rituals that are part of your faith.

Would you mind sharing with me a copy of the order you received from the government stating this along with video evidence of the government minders placed in your church directing you what to say and sing?

[Kerrytravelers]

29. bwwaahhhh... that's a good one!

:thumbsup:

[Roland99]

31. Goes to the core of their feigned indignation.

They want EVERY institution in America to honor and espouse their brand of religion but they fail to understand that this nation has a SECULAR government and that capitalism honors no particular faith.

Only those weak of their own faith and insecure in their beliefs foster that type of crap.

[uppityperson]

38. Excellent response, bookmarked for this.

[Bjorn Against]

42. Here is the response to send, and make sure to use "reply all"

The O'Grinch Factor
By Rosa Brooks

The Whos down in Who-ville

Were a tolerant lot:

Who Christians, Who Muslims — a Who melting pot.

Who Hindus! Who atheists! Who Buddhists, Who Jews!

Who Confucians, Who pagans,

And even Who Druse!

The Who First Amendment’s Establishment Clause

Said, “No churches in courts,” and the Whos loved their laws.

Because somehow … they worked. The Whos rarely fought,

Mostly, each Who did just what he ought.

Every Who down in Who-ville

Loved the Consti-Who-tion a lot.

But the O’Reilly, who lived up in Fox-ville,

Did NOT!

The O’Reilly DETESTED the Who Consti-Who-tion,

He thought it was some sort of liberal pollution.

Now, please don’t ask why, for I really don’t know.

Perhaps it had something to do with his show.

It could be that his head wasn’t screwed on quite right.

Or it could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that his RATINGS

Were two sizes too small.

Well, whatever it was, bad ratings or tight shoes,

He stood there one Christmas, just hating the Whos.

“They’re so multicultural,” he sneered, “and wherever they’re from,

They lack the good sense to just launch a pogrom!

There’s no Who ethnic cleansing, no Who Inquisition,

If this PEACE can’t be stopped, I may lose my position.

Those sensitive, tolerant Whos! It’s quite grating.

I must think of something to fix my show’s ratings!”

Then he said with a smirk, “I know just what to do

To destroy all the joy in the land of the Who!

I think I can end that PC Who peace.

This year, not one Who will enjoy his Roast Beast!

“Here’s just how I’ll do it:

I’ll tell each Who Christian

That the liberal Whos have devised a new mission

To take away Christmas!

To mock and destroy

Till no little Who Christian is left with a toy!

And when secular Whos — most likely Who Jews –

Attempt to deny it? Why,

I’ll just SPIN THE NEWS!

“I’ll bluff and I’ll lie; I’ll sow seeds of mistrust.

Soon they’ll form battle lines into

Who ‘THEM’ and Who ‘US,’

Based on which Whos prefer

To sing out, ‘Merry Christmas’

And which Whos say, ‘Kwanzaa!’

Or ‘None of your business!’

“They’ll get so confused and so MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD

That they won’t even notice the way

They’ve been HAD!

They’ll be so busy squabbling

They won’t notice the war!

They won’t care if Who rich

Start to trample Who poor!

“Forget torture, and terror, and taxes and health!

They’ll waste all their time on some red-hatted elf.

“And the Who Consti-Who-tion?

They’ll stretch it or burn it!

If it came as a gift, they would try to return it!

“The Who Christians will think that they fight the good fight,

They won’t know that they’re puppets of the Fox-ville Far Right.

They’ll forget all that DRIVEL about faith, hope and LOVE

And say ‘Merry Christmas’ with a sneer and a shove.

“But I? I will prosper! My ratings will soar,

And maybe at last they’ll forget I’m a BOOR.

Then for every Who Christmas tree

A most fitting adornament:

My O’Reilly MUG on the tackiest ornament!”

… And what happened then?

Well, the rest’s up to you.

But I know what I’d like this holiday season:

A little less NOISE and a little more reason.

So Who Christians! Who Buddhists! Who Muslims! Who Jews!

WHOever you are, just say NO to Fox “News”!

If you don’t want to lose the whole Who Consti-Who-tion

It’s time to reject the Far Right Revolution.

So turn off O’Reilly and everyone shrill,

Let’s have some peace

And old-fashioned GOODWILL.

http://tildology.com/2005/12/22/the-ogrinch-factor/

[nadinbrzezinski]

2. We are winning? WOW

Now remember folks this year it is RUDOLPH... damn that red nose is really annoying...

Oh and to these folks... Christmas is not about silly gift giving but peace ... oh never mind...

[EOTE]

40. Grab your ammo. Those f-ers are going down.

Not just Rudolph, the whole bloody lot of them. Die Dasher! Die Dancer! Die Prancer and Vixen! Die Comet! Die Cupid! Die Donner and Blitzen! There will be plenty more red to accompany Rudolph's nose on Santa's sleigh this year.

[Capn Sunshine]

3. wouldn't it be better to reply "Merry Xmas!"

I'm just saying..........

[Iggo]

4. ...or Happy Holidays....

...or Seasons Greetings...

...or my favorite: Scintillating Solstice!

[conscious evolution]

20. Merry Mithrasmas

or merry horusmas.
There are plenty of other sons of gods born on dec 25 you can choose from.

[ima_sinnic]

32. +1

"plenty of sons of gods born on dec 25" :spray:

:rofl:

[Capn Sunshine]

45. I forgot "bon Festivus" !

Gee, I wish I got a War on Christmas Email

[tomm2thumbs]

5. reply 'Season's Greetings'... it's not Happy Holiday bwahahahah

[Truth2Tell]

6. It seems like the War on Christmas starts earlier every year...

I usually don't get my War on Christmas decorations out until after Thanksgiving. But every year the War seems to start a bit earlier. The Malls and Boulevards get decorated, the big War on Christmas sales start. The War on Christmas has lost it's true meaning and become a commercial enterprise.

I blame Hallmark.

[ChicagoSuz219]

7. Another point of view...

When my daughter was in 5th grade (in a Chicago PUBLIC school) she asked the teacher why they only sang Christmas songs & talked about Christmas & why there was no mention of Chanukah.

The teacher said, "Because I don't know anything about Chanukah. Why don't you teach us?"

The next day she went to school with a children's book that explained Chanukah, and the whole class got to learn something new.

[stopbush]

8. I actually liked it until the "Shout Merry Xmas" line.

The country would be a better place if the rest of it was true.

One can dream...

[chollybocker]

9. First, mark as Spam.

Then, avoid this person (and others like him/her) at all costs. That's what I'd do.


Happy November 18th! :hi:

[imdjh]

11. Reply all: subject line = "Sally, can you believe some asshole sent me this?"

Sally being a fictional character of course, and then hit send.

[imdjh]

10. Twas

Twas a week before Thanksgiving
and what do I see?
Christmas lights on the phone poles
and lights on the trees

Those bloated inflatable
Santas stand guard
Like beer bellied rednecks
passed out in the yard.

Already a billboard
proclaims from the ditch
"Keep Christ in Christmas"
you son of a bitch

[vadawg]

13. lol, personally i just do my christmas thing regardless, we put up the nativity scene

dress the tree, go to mass every day that we can and celebrate what it means. i dont care if you say happy holidays or season greetings etc i just wish you a merry christmas and go on my way...

[imdjh]

37. I like Christmas. I can't believe how invested these assholes are in their persecution complex.

But one of the huge points of disagreement between mainstream (by which I mean high Methodist, Episcopalian, and Catholic) people and your fundies and pentecostals (as well as Mormons and Amish) is the idea of being culturally Christian. For all their mouthy carrying on about America's Christian heritage, they really do reject the idea of being culturally Christian, but not a practicing Christian. How can you (erroneously) credit all of western civilization to Christianity and then act like being Christian is simply a choice you make when you get baptized or join a cult/church?

[ima_sinnic]

30. bwahaha, good one!

:thumbsup:

[emilyg]

12. Read that on Rumor Mill and some

other site I can't recall.

[MrModerate]

14. At least when they're breaking their brains to come up with this inept twaddle . . .

It keeps them out of the garage making fuel-oil bombs.

[Norrin Radd]

15. I say, "Peace on Earth."

They are uncomfortable with the "P" word.

[Raine]

16. Send them a Christmas card with this message

"Money is tight
and times are hard
so here's your fucking Christmas card"

:evilgrin:

Actually a friend of mine had special cards printed one year with that as a final message to the assholes on her list.

[MissB]

17. This must be an old one - no mention of Obama

[piratefish08]

18. actually, the Pagans and the winter solstice are the reason for the reason for the season.

but why get bogged down in details when fantasy is so much more convenient?

[piratefish08]

19. we still celebrate a 'non-religious' christmas at my house, but my xmas tree is topped with

a large, blinking Flying Spaghetti Monster.

It drives my fundie in-laws absolutely batshit crazy!

[CraftyGal]

41. That reminds me I need to knit a Speghetti Monster for the top of the tree.

That way we could have our own X-mas tree. Also we look at Advent, I have nativity scened but it is because they were given to me or I am knitting/crocheting them ;-)

CraftyGal

[justabob]

21. I got that one too

I had to restrain myself because the friend that sent it to me is not a lunatic, just someone with an itchy forward email finger... she forwards almost anything. I started to write her back and explain, but I was so angry that I had to wait until I could educate her in a less irate way. Maybe I can manage it now.

[Mad_Dem_X]

23. Target hangs their trees upside down??

I didn't notice that when I went there recently. :shrug:

[LeftinOH]

25. That probably refers to the recent fad of 'upside down' Christmas trees, like this:

Because, as everyone knows, the decorated artificial pine tree in the stable where Jesus was born was right-side-up. :sarcasm:

-you gotta admit, they *do* save floor space.

[Ganja Ninja]

24. They're getting started late this year. n/t

[Quantess]

46. I know. Labor Day was a few months ago.

At he very latest, they're supposed to begin the day after Halloween. Better late than never.

[seabeyond]

26. please dont fuck with my christmas. it is spiritual, not political. thanks

would em my response.

[pipi_k]

27. Ha haha hahaahahahahahahah!!!

The irony is so delicious...

They complain that the "meaning" of Christmas is being stolen...say it's all about what people can buy at Walmart or Sears or Target...

Yet I'll bet a VERY small percentage of those complainers actually put their complaints into action by refraining from buying up the same stuff everyone else does, at the same stores.


How many of them actually forgo the Christmas tree or the lights and the gifts? How many of them observe the "holiness" of the day by drinking and fighting and beating up their spouses?

They are the ones ruining Christmas!

[ima_sinnic]

36. the irony is even more ironic: they're mad cause stores don't say merry xmas

the nerve of the retailers, retailing to Kwanzaa and Ramadan shoppers--but NOT EXCLUSIVELY (or EVEN AT ALL, apparently) to CHRISTMAS shoppers.

oh, it must soooo suck to be them :nopity: :rofl:

[DU GrovelBot]

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[Ishoutandscream2]

34. And a bigoted statement as well

The mention of Franken - I'm sure they do realize that Franken is Jewish. And the slam on Ramadan and Kwanzaa. They really are dreaming of a "white Christmas." Bigots.

[StarfarerBill]

35. Then celebrate *Christ-mas*, you hypocrites...

...not "Consume-mass(-quantities)", as you do now...and do it quietly.

[Initech]

39. This is easily the most pointless "war" the fundies have ever come up with.

[ieoeja]

43. Fuck Thanksgiving and New Years day! I will never say Happy Holidays again!

It's only "Merry Christmas" for me from now on!

I grew up with Happy Holidays my whole life. Never heard of Ramadan. And I don't think Kwanzaa had even been invented yet. Were these fuckwads born yesterday or something?

[Hell Hath No Fury]

44. Tell them they have no business celebrating "Christmas" --

as "christians". Our Maylower Puritans thought it a pagan celebration and would have nothing to do with it. (true story) :evilgrin:

[Toucano]

47. Say, "Feliz Navidad!"

That'll get their panties in a bind for a whole other reason.