Andy Rooney and his four requirements to become a citizen

[Libertas1776]

As I was flipping through the channels I stopped on CBS and caught the tail end of Rooney's "speech" about citizenship tests. He explained the old test questions, such as what colors make up the American flag? and where is the White House? And the new questions, such as who authored the Federalist Papers or something to that effect and how many members are in the US House.

In closing, he came up with what he deemed should be sufficient enough to achieve citizenship. Four simple questions or rather requirements...

1. Say the Pledge of Allegiance.

2. Promise to pay your taxes.

3. Recite the Star Spangled Banner.

4. Know who won the latest Super Bowl.

If you cannot complete these requirements, he says, then "back your bags and get out."




Oy vey, the things they say. :crazy:

[anonymous171]

1. #2 would send a majority of the rich packing for Somalia. nt

[Captain Hilts]

2. When living in Canada I followed hockey and learned the words to the anthem. Same in Russia.

I read local newspapers in both. Followed the local sports.

It's just being polite.

[Hamlette]

4. Polite to know who won the Superbowl?

not in all circles. You don't need to know in my house. None of us do. We're asportual.

[Robb]

9. Perhaps. But in Canada I believe you can be jailed

...for not knowing who won the Stanley Cup. And why the Leafs were cheated that year. :D

[Captain Hilts]

13. Last year, the WSJ wrote a hilarious article on how pitiful the Leafs are. I'll

admit, I don't have a dog in the fight, but it's neat to put on my jogging kit and go for a run the night of a Leafs-Canadians game. It's on the TV in EVERY bar on the way, and folks are all wearing their colors.

[Captain Hilts]

11. If you want to fit in. Be able to talk to anyone, it's good to know who won. Or what the local team

is doing.

[niyad]

28. I don't know anything about sports, will never pretend to know, or bother to know- and I fit in just

fine with people wherever I go. of course, I don't hang out in sports bars, either.

[Captain Hilts]

37. I loathe sports bars. But, if you live in Toronto, the Leafs are a big deal. When they win, it

makes some of my friends very happy. I'm happy for them. It's that simple.

It's about stepping outside yourself.

[niyad]

39. what a crock. it isn't at all about "stepping outside yourself" because nobody has the right to

tell me that I MUST pay attention to something or other because that something makes other people happy. I don't require that anybody give a damn about my interests, and I expect the same courtesy in return.

[Mz Pip]

3. I'd fail #4

though I could probably look it up on the internet before I took the test.

[Liberal_in_LA]

7. me too

[Warpy]

12. Same here. He just disqualified most women from citizenship

because most of us are aroused to a frenzy of not giving a shit about any professional sports but especially about football.

Don't bother to tell me if you're an exception. I already know you're out there, you're just not the majority of us.

Rooney didn't think this one through, obviously, or he was going for a cheap laugh that fell flat.

[Captain Hilts]

15. It's THE most watched television program every year. It's not an obscure fact. I rarely watch

it, but I know who's playing, etc.

[Bluenorthwest]

18. I generally know who's playing half time

does this count?

[Captain Hilts]

19. Half credit! You're halfway there!

[Mz Pip]

25. I may know who's playing

on the day of the game. But a week later it disappears with all of the rest of the extraneous drivel I have accumulated during the week. Like what's on my grocery list, or what telemarketer called. :shrug:

[niyad]

30. it may be the most-watched (would have to see actual stats) but it isn't watched by ME.

how this affects being a citizen is something that perhaps you could explain, because I don't see it. sports have absolutely no effect on my life one way or another. the people who are voting on my life, however, do.

[niyad]

35. even as a joke, it was really dumb. and, yes, you are right, it would leave a lot of women

out. perhaps that was the point?

[Hamlette]

41. speaking of Andy and women, do you remember his Thanksgiving piece a few years ago?

he went on and on about how it was the best holiday in the whole year because you didn't have to buy anything for anyone and you didn't have to do anything, no work at all, you just got to sit around all day and eat wonderful food and watch television.

While I love Thanksgiving, half of us, no make that the vast majority of us, do have to "do something". Cook and clean up!

Luckily, many many people blasted him for that. Knocked him down a notch I think, at least in my book. I used to think he was kinda funny in a old man "get off my lawn" sort of way. Now I just see him as a pig.

[Warpy]

44. I think that was the last time I bothered watching

and yes, he is a pig. He's got a blind spot big enough to fit a slight majority of the population into.

[hfojvt]

43. you are lucky

to be living so far away from any Pittsburgh Steelers fans. Otherwise you'd have to know because they still haven't shut up about it.

[Enrique]

5. #4 is the Yankees, right?

do I get to stay?

[TCJ70]

6. I don't really see a whole lot wrong with that list...

...number four may just be a joke. But what's so wrong with the other three?

[dflprincess]

22. Number 2 was okay

though you'd have a hard time convincing the "no new taxes" crowd of it.

Items 1 and 3 (& 4) are really irrelevant. I think citizenship involves more than the ability to recite the pledge or the anthem.

As much as the the right wing prefers we remain ignorant, some knowledge of American history and government is what a good citizen should know which is why there is some of that on the citizenship test - even if it does leave out a lot of the people born here.

[niyad]

31. #1 is a loyalty oath, prohibited by the constitution. and the ability to recite the star-spangled

banner is no indication that one is a good citizen. even people like cheney probably know the words (although I wouldn't be sure about boner, since he can't even tell the difference between the declaration of independence and the constitution)

[Bluenorthwest]

8. I don't know who won any Superbowl ever.

[Captain Hilts]

17. Wow. How insular can one be? I don't usually give a shit, but I know.

[Bluenorthwest]

20. As I said above I usually know who's playing half time

but the names of the teams and all of that mean nothing to me. So it would not stick. Unless it was local. I have followed a few teams but only when I know people on them. Otherwise, I have no interest, don't know the rules, don't see the point. Same with baseball. Basketball I know a bit more. A bit.
I have however met Mickey Mantel, both Ali and Foreman, Kareem, and several football greats so I have sports stories. Just not about who won the game.

[niyad]

32. as hard as this may be for you to comprehend, some of us truly don't give a damn about sports, which

have zero effect in our lives. it isn't about being insular-- it's about having different interests.

[Captain Hilts]

36. I usually actively avoid the Super Bowl and its hype. But how can anyone attuned to the news

not know who is competing? It's in general news broadcasts - the bets between the mayors of the two cities - it's in the newspapers...

It's not about caring.

It's THE biggest media event on television every year.

[csziggy]

38. I work hard at avoiding anything about major team sports

My remote is for changing the channel when I simply don't want to know about something. Sports are at the top of my list. Repubs are neck & neck with commercials. I just don't give a damn about hearing or seeing any of those so I either hit "Mute" and ignore the screen or jump to another channel.

It is not that hard to avoid knowing about the Super Bowl when you've honed your skills for decades. :evilgrin:

[niyad]

40. you know, one can actually pay attention to the news WITHOUT paying the least bit of attention to

sports (mute and recall buttons are wonderful in this regard)

no matter how much you insist on your viewpoint here, there are a good many of us who don';t give a tinker's damn about ANY sports, and that doesn't make us uninformed or anything else. sports has absolutely no effect on my life, and guess what? I LOVE it that way.
by the way, I don't watch the academy awards or any beauty pageants either.

link tv and planet green are wonderful for those of us who don't give a flying **** about the people who chase after leather balls or whatever else they do.

by the way, did you know that there are more than 126 opera companies in the us? and that roughly as many people attend the opera as football games:

America's opera boom: the U.S. now has 125 opera companies. That's more than Germany or Italy, and roughly as many Americans attend live opera performances as attend NFL football games. Jonathan Leaf examines a surprising phenomenon--beyond the Met.

http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G1-167774528.html




remdi95

[C_U_L8R]

10. So Andy Rooney would depart George Washington??

thank goodness this country is not defined by Andy Rooneys

[anonymous171]

14. George Washington is still alive? nt

[C_U_L8R]

21. He was when Rooney first started his Sunday bloviating

: - )))

[mrcheerful]

16. Was George Washington even born in the united states? LOL

[Bluzmann57]

23. Pittsburgh Steelers won the latest Super Bowl

But the other day, I forgot the Pledge of Allegiance. I can't sing the damn Star Spangled Banner so I ain't going to recite it. And I pay taxes because they come out of my paycheck each week, just as they do out of anyone else who works in this country. And I was born in Illinois. So does this make me some sort of non-American? Gee, I hope not.

[MrMickeysMom]

24. Okay, Andy... that's a wrap-

Now pack your bags and go retire... :eyes:

[Vickers]

26. Read the Constitution, Andy.

:eyes:

[niyad]

27. wow--I'm in trouble--I refuse to say loyalty oaths, don't know who won ANY superbowls, and don't

care one whit about sports. unless he was being tongue-in-cheek, those are really pointless requirements that have nothing to do with being good citizens.

by the way, I wonder what his requirements are for being good public servants--you know, like congress is supposed to be.

[nadinbrzezinski]

29. I know Andy served at one time

but to me SERVICE (not just military) makes you far more of a citizen than knowing who won the last Superbowl.

But this is the problem, and why the country is failing.

[DU GrovelBot]

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[Darth_Kitten]

45. What can you add to the discussion, Grovelbot?

:evilgrin:

[krispos42]

34. How about naming 2 out of their 3 members of Congress?

A couple of Supreme Court justices?

[Divine Discontent]

42. YES! I'd be proud if they named one of the members of Congress for the state/district they're in

or one Justice and the governor of the state they're in. You know we're such a small minority of citizens that can name most/all of these things (and I'm not referring to anyone with memory problems or disabilities as being unqualified if they cannot, just putting that out there.)