Another Communique From Behind The Lines

[ChoppinBroccoli]

Once again, the RNC has STILL not caught on that I'm not one of their lock-step drones and has sent me yet another "Survey." Here are the "questions" for which they'd like my "honest answers."


1. Do you support the Obama Administration's efforts to eliminate further testing and deployment of an intercontinental missile defense system? (For some reason, they just won't give this one up. Get a clue, guys. Reagan was wrong about this one 25 years ago.)

2. Should Republicans continue fighting congressional Democrats' efforts to grant full unconditional amnesty to illegal immigrants? (Funny, I don't recall the Democrats ever proposing a bill to this effect).

3. Do you agree with Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi's efforts to impose massive tax hikes on the American people? (Funny, I don't recall either one of them saying anything like THIS either).

4. Do you believe that the federal government should maintain a permanent ownership stake in large American banks? (Funny, I don't recall ANYONE suggesting this either).

5. Are you in favor of the federal government using tens of billions more of your tax dollars in an effort to further bailout the U.S. auto industry? (Funny, I don't recall MORE auto bailouts even being discussed).

6. Do you support expanded exploration and drilling for fossil fuels off of U.S. coasts and on federal land?

7. Do you support the Democrats' efforts to create a massive new federal government bureaucracy that would be run by unionized government employees and would have complete control of your health care costs and choices? (Big government and unions BAD!!! Run away!!! Run away!!!)

8. Should Republicans in Congress make expansion of veterans' benefits a priority? (In other words, should they REVERSE course on things they OPPOSED until recently, and appear outraged over programs they themselves cut while Bush was writing the budget?)

9. Do you support maintaining anti-terrorism laws that give law enforcement and intelligence agencies the far-reaching powers to track, detain and prosecute terrorists and their accomplices? (Yes, please come take my rights away, but dress it up in fancy, "we're fighting terrorists" language first, so I'll like it better).

10. Should the U.S. government normalize relations with Cuba?

11. Do you believe Barack Obama and Democrats in Congress have the best interests of you, your family and your community in mind? (No, I think the people who call me unworthy of healthcare, lie to me like it's a bodily function, feed me non-stop propaganda and bumper-sticker-sized thoughts, and think I'm too stupid to remember all the things they've said and done in the recent past do!!!)

12. Do you believe that American business and industry will be able to compete in the world economy if the Obama Administration bends to pressure from radical environmentalists and implements draconian regulations on emissions, energy consumption and transportation beyond what is required in other industrialized countries? (Gee, I don't know. The Japanese seem to do pretty well with it).

13. Do you support raising the age of eligibility for Social Security benefits? (Why? You hoping old folks will die before they realize you've raided their Social Security money and given it to the rich and the corporate fatcats?)

14. In your opinion, should Democrats like Representative Barney Frank and Senator Chris Dodd, who were in charge of congressional oversight committees that refused to pass tighter regulations on banks and financial institutions such as Fannie Mae and Freddie Mae (sic), share responsibility for the housing crisis caused by high-risk mortgages? (Certainly you wouldn't expect me to blame the Republicans, who ONLY controlled the House, Senate, White House, and Supreme Court for not doing anything, would you? They were POWERLESS to stop this!!! And with their unblemished record of passing strict regulations on business, too! What a shame that ONE Rep. and ONE Senator stood in their way!)

15. Do you believe that this nation's Founding Fathers intended for the federal government to micro-manage state and local functions such as setting education standards, health care, child care and unemployment assistance? (Yes, I'm quite certain they would have opposed the meddling "No Child Left Behind" law. However, I'm sure they would have loved Medicare, SCHIPS, and worker protection laws, since the U.S. Constitution was modelled after the French Constitution, which provided for all of those things and more.)

16. Do you feel that total Democrat control of both chambers of Congress and the Presidency will make our nation more prosperous, safe, and free? (Compared to total Republican control, it already has, jerk-offs.)

17. Are you ready to actively support Republican candidates in your area and across the country who are figthing to stop the liberal Obama agenda and reinstitute conservative Republican policies and principles such as personal responsibility, lower taxes, cutting government waste and keeping our defense strong?

--Yes! I want to join the RNC's effort to win control of the U.S. House and U.S. Senate in the fast-approaching 2010 mid-term elections, safeguard our values and principles, and get America moving towards a strong, prosperous and secure future. I am enclosing my most generous contribution.

--I cannot pledge my support for this year, but I would like to include a contribution of $11 to help the RNC fund this survey and its tabulation.

[emulatorloo]

1. Thanks for taking the time to type all that nonsense in. Push Polling Extraordinare!

[ChoppinBroccoli]

2. And Some Of The Highlights From The Accompanying Letter

"In 1994, the biased media elites touted Bill and Hillary Clinton as the greatest thing since sliced bread and declared the Republican Party all but dead . . . Yet men and women all across the country, folks like you, came forward, banded together and we defied the pundits and political prognosticators on the left, capturing both chambers of Congress and stopping Bill Clinton's liberal agenda." (My note: If they stopped Clinton's liberal agenda, why do they continue to blame him for everything that's wrong today?) "WE CAN ONCE AGAIN OVERCOME THE ODDS IN 2010. OVER 60 MILLION PEOPLE DID NOT VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA, AND IF WE WORK TOGETHER, WE AN MAKE OUR VOICES HEARD."

"We have a great opportunity to win control of the U.S. House of Representatives and the U.S. Senate, if we act now to unite our Party, recruit top-quality candidates and relentlessly promote our conservative agenda and principles."

"The Obama Democrats are out of touch with Main Street American values and are focused on passing an ultra-liberal agenda of special interest favors and costly social welfare experiments. The Democrats want a government takeover of the health care system, amnesty for illegal aliens, billions more for bloated unionized federal bureaucracies, punishing regulations on already struggling manufacturers--And borrowing the most money in the history of the world to pay for it all." (My note: Good job, Mikey. You managed to smoosh all the hot-button buzzwords into one, long, run-on sentence!)

"The more that the American people hear about the REAL Obama Administration agenda, the better the Republican Party's chance for capturing BOTH chambers of Congress in 2010."

"(By completing the survey), You will also be helping to determine whether or not the Obama Democrats' insatiable appetite for bigger government and higher taxes is enacted or blocked."

"Your financial support will also underwrite our Party's efforts to reach out to voters with the truth about our Republican philosophy, while exposing the Obama Democrats' true liberal agenda of big government and tax increases. Remember, while the primary sources of funding for the Democrat Party are special interests like big labor and trial lawyers, the RNC has always relied on the direct financial support and generosity of dedicated, individual Republicans like you year-in, year-out!" (My note: OMG!!! Lies make Baby Jesus cry.)

"But we need BOTH your financial support, as well as your immediate survey participation, to fund our campaign to take control of the House and Senate and stop the Obama Democrats from destroying our common sense Republican principles and values. Are you with us?"

"I hope and pray you answer "YES," because the result of failing to win control of both chambers of Congress and allowing the Obama Democrats to continue their liberal legislative onslaught would be truly devastating to ALL Americans. If the Obama Democrats are not stopped, they will totally destroy our conservative principles and lead our country down the wrong path . . . We need to stop Obama and his radical liberal agenda."

"P.S. The Obama Democrats' agenda of high taxes and massive expansion of government is wrong for America, and we stop it by electing Republican majorities in the House and Senate in 2010."