Nut Soup...now this is some real AMERICAN-type cookin'!

[badgerpup]

After reading the recipe, I think you'll agree it really doesn't belong in the Cooking and Baking section.
I found it in the 'Comment' section of Eugene Robinson's latest...er...apparently-random-yet-almost-coherent effort in the on-line WaPo...

"Attack of the Palinites"
Re-education camps with Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck?

:tinfoilhat: :hide:

How To Make Nut Soup

America loves soup. We are the melting pot of the world and with that melting pot we like to make soup. You may not have recognized it, but all our conservative brethren have made an incredibly tasty, yet bitter, recipe for America - Nut Soup.

First start with a heaping belief that debt is good and the more debt the better. You cannot go wrong with debt right? So much so that the GOP uses $10 trillion in debt cured over 8 years as the stock for its nut soup.

To add a little devious flavor throw in an unregulated amount of Laissez-faire. This little stuff is what dreams are made of right? Everyone has the chance to grow their own little Laissez-faire, but the good stuff can only really come from the really big Laissez-faire gardens of big business. The character and charm of completely unregulated economic waste is only to be savored.

Every good soup needs potatoes, right? So the GOP uses “supply side economics” as the starch in their soup. Brilliant! Even though the last 30 years have demonstrated that this starch does not work except for those with incredible amounts of money to cultivate it properly, when mixed in nut soup it is fabulous.

If you want more body in your nut soup then just add oil. The best oil for viscosity is the crude type. But to get the good stuff you have to “drill baby drill”. The sweetest crude of all comes from public lands where it costs almost nothing to get since you do not have to pay the public anything for their natural resources. Then you can sell what you do not put in your soup for exorbitant prices back to the “willy nilly” public. But remember, you can only drill on public lands when the prices are already high.

Add a little subtle flavoring by adding tax cuts for the wealthy. Man when combined with the above ingredients, you would not believe the power that it brings to the soup. The combination is to die for, really.

Now for the secret ingredients, but shhhhh, we are not supposed to know if these really exist or not, but (wink, wink) they do.
* Add a heap load of “Birthers” for the bitter flavor. The “vast left wing conspiracy” generated by the Birthers just literally tickles you inside.
* Add a bucket of “Democrats want to kill Grandma” for some really good heat. This little secret ingredient comes from the best regards of Betsy McCaughy, a noted GOP roasted nut maker.
* Add a burlap sack full of “Socialism Fear” for consistency. The only real place to get this is at one of the NeoCon AM radio Madrasah’s or Gonzo TV Opinionators (Faux News really makes the best). But be careful this is some heavy stuff; you do not want to throw out your back lifting such heavy stuff.
* Add a pinch of “Obama is going to indoctrinate my children” for a subtle flavor bananas.
* Add a little Terri Schiavo for some real kick. I mean if you want a soup that will literally kick you in the nuts, using a little Terri Schiavo will do just that.

Oh and I almost forgot the main ingredient, the NUTS. Silly me! Quite frankly the nuts are easy to find but the really good nuts can be found in disaffected areas such as the AM Radio Madrasah’s where they cling to for intelligence. You can use any old type of nut, but my favorites are the Rush Nuts, the Hannibal Nuts and the Beck Nuts. I do not know what it is, but they just seem to add more pizzazz. I think it is because they are cured in hate at temperatures above the average nuts.

For a real twist for all you contradiction lovers, mix some prayer in with a truck load of profits. These two really compliment each other. Really they do.

To properly cook your Nut Soup, you have to have a “Permanent Republican Majority” stove that emits high amounts of Carbon. Just turn all the burners on high and let it boil baby. Boil baby boil.

Now what you may have noticed is not in Nut Soup are the following. And please do not use these as they will literally curdle the soup.
 No truth what-so-ever – this is a soup killer.
 No decency what-so-ever – this is like putting mustard on ice cream.
 No equality – I know, I know, our Constitution says all men are created equal, but equality is really over-rated and lacks any of the vindication necessary for a great soup, so it is useless.
 No charity – I realize this one may be a baffler because Nuts love to wrap themselves in morality, and Jesus taught us that “whatever you do unto the least of my brothers as you do unto me”. But that just does not apply here! So do NOT try to sneak in some health care reform because we will know it when we smell it.
 Oh and of course – nothing should be added “liberally” because “liberally” is BAD. Only add a very “greedy” or “unregulated” amount of everything.
******

This was refreshing...and made me feel much better about the fate of the human race in general after reading a lot of the other comments (which seemed to consist of mostly bile, vitriol, bad spelling, and frothing incoherence).:eyes:

[badgerpup]

1. Kick...

It's a good thing I rarely have anything really IMPORTANT to say...


:kick:

[niyad]

2. the perfect recipe for nut soup, gop-style