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Yehonala Donating Member (163 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 06:50 PM
Original message
Dealing With Bullies
I hate bullies. I loathe them. I remember tenth grade where I was systematically bullied to the point of nearly flunking my first semester fully. It was during interior design. The teacher of course did nothing. Personally, although I know that a lot here disagree with the death penalty, think that people who systematically bully people should be forced to watch the death penalty being administered so they know where they are headed if they keep it up. Bullies usually end up being criminals anyway.

What about putting bullying incidents on their permanent school records to give employers an idea of their personalities? Or public corporal punishment. Even better, know points off of their GPA if they are the snotty types that think having a 4.0 entitles them to bully kids who are struggling more. As for jocks, for each incident, they sit out a game.
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
1. Schools need to do more and they need to start early
because some kids who have been horribly bullied have either taken their own lives or have gotten hold of guns and shot up the school.

I learned how to deal with bullies when I was ten, I snapped and put one into the hospital. It was overkill, but that kid never came near me again.

I learned to summon my inner crazy person and stand up to them, let them know I didn't care if I got hurt, I was going to do my level best to hurt them worse. Most of the time they backed down pretty quickly.

Being severely bullied has lifelong consequences in terms of later depression. Unfortunately, workplace bullying is now endemic and workplaces really don't care to deal with it, most of them are run by fools who thinks it increases productivity when in fact it does the opposite.

Bullies have to be identified early and stopped or they'll grow up to be adults who bully and teach their kids to bully. We need to break that cycle.
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Yehonala Donating Member (163 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #1
7. Right On
"because some kids who have been horribly bullied have either taken their own lives or have gotten hold of guns and shot up the school."

And then the kids who lashed out are demonized. I wonder how many kids who were shot at Columbine were bullying the shooters. I am so sick of all the idiocy surrounding these 'martyrs.' As for the suicides, I cannot fathom the pain of losing a child to suicide, over bullying no less.

"Bullies have to be identified early and stopped or they'll grow up to be adults who bully and teach their kids to bully. We need to break that cycle."

I wonder how other countries deal with bullying in their schools. You don't hear about too many school shootings or stabbings in school.
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tonysam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 01:07 AM
Response to Reply #1
32. Schools need to combat the bullying of teachers
by principals first. Maybe then they can set a good example for children to follow.

I say this in all seriousness.
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Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 06:56 PM
Response to Original message
2. Some employers
would probably hire the bullies first! Not only did we deal with them in school, there is at least one in every work place. I can't stand them either. They are the most cowardly of all. I'm opposed to the death penalty, so can't go along with anything that advocates it. I don't know what to suggest. I just know that after all the bs bullies I put up with in 8th grade, these days, I get right back in their face. It can cost a job, but giving in to them can cost you your life. After one boy tormented me in 8th grade, my family moved away and returned to the town during a visit. We ran into this boy and his dad on the street, and I asked him why he did that. He cast his eyes down and said, "I don't know". He doesn't know. I hope he remembers that for the rest of his life.
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Kievan Rus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:37 PM
Response to Reply #2
11. Wally World would
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Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:06 AM
Response to Reply #11
17. TSA. nt
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Caliman73 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
3. Bullies are typically messed up people who have also suffered abuse.
They act out physically to assert some control over their lives. What they do is unhealthy and wrong, but they are not monsters who need to be punished. They are individuals who also need intervention. I am all for consequences for behaviors that are damaging to others. Bullying should not be tolerated, but to write people off without trying to find out what is motivating the behavior just serves to make sure it continues.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 06:58 PM
Response to Original message
4. bullied once by a girl a year older. my older brother beat up her younger brother
cause he couldnt go after a girl.

i thought it so unfair.... to the younger brother, parker. always liked the guy. but worked in brothers head.
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PeaceNikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 07:00 PM
Response to Original message
5. Not everyone remains a bully for life, but you want to make them wear a scarlet letter?
I think that's a ridiculous and horrible idea.
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Yehonala Donating Member (163 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:28 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Zero Tolerance Viewpoint
I've reached a boiling point in my life where I think that we need to start coming down hard on these dolts. I was bullied, as I wrote, and I am so sick of their BS. I am sick of kids being targeted who for one reason simply cannot fit in, through no fault of their own.
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PeaceNikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:33 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Zero tolerance is a shitty policy for anything.
Worst of all if kids and adolescents are involved.

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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:44 AM
Response to Reply #6
20. You support zero tolerance?
Because that's a form of bullying.
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HughMoran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:31 PM
Response to Original message
8. I learned to fight
Amazing how undesirable of a target one becomes when you slam someone's head into a locker a dozen times.
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Tim01 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. An unpleasant truth. nt
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nadinbrzezinski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:36 PM
Response to Original message
10. As much as I dislike bullies and avoid those who were
to say that they end up being criminals is just too much of a broad brush.

And yes I was bullied to m'kay.
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LostInAnomie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:37 PM
Response to Original message
12. At what age should we start branding these irredeemable kids?
Edited on Wed Nov-04-09 10:38 PM by LostInAnomie
What grade level is it appropriate to make sure that a kid gets branded with a stigma they can never shake? 1st grade? 2nd? 3rd?
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PeaceNikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:48 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. And what happens when a person develops this bullyish nature after school?
Should they get a tattoo on their foreheads? A "mark" on their driving record? Special license plates?
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Kievan Rus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:44 PM
Response to Original message
14. This was a big problem in my high school
My neighborhood was a place where many of the people were very materialistic and exceedingly shallow. The majority of the people in the "in crowd" at my high school were very selfish and rather intolerant. They hated and antagonized pretty much anybody that didn't toe their line and didn't think the way they did. A lot of them were racist, homophobic and sexist as well.
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-04-09 10:51 PM
Response to Original message
16. That was hilarious.
Thanks.

(lol...'permanent record'...nice one...lol.)
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Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:40 AM
Response to Original message
18. Don't know if you have
been here long enough to run into any DU bullies. The place is littered with them. They will chew you up and spit you out without blinking. They have no human compassion, so don't look for it.

Let me warn you, no one is likely to come to your rescue. No one is going to penalize them. Some of them have a rep here, and there are those of us who put them on ignore. That's your best option.

After considering this post, I'm thinking someone needs to challenge you to learn to stand up for yourself. Stop looking for outside help. It isn't there. This is the big bad mean world. There is always someone looking around for victims. Don't be one.
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TicketyBoo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 08:35 AM
Response to Reply #18
38. If I were to take your post seriously,
I would leave right now, and never come back.

I'm not interested in internet flames or those who perpetrate them.

And, yes, this site is somewhat outside my comfort zone.

If I did not feel so alone in my political views in my own community, I would not be here at all. I don't need to come here to be made uncomfortable; discomfort is all around me in real life.

So, I have come here for a little solace, a port in a storm. If I can't find that here, then I won't be around very long.

I'm open to suggestions, including being handed my hat and told to leave, if that is your advice.
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:43 AM
Response to Original message
19. Isn't stereotyping people a form of bullying?
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:47 AM
Response to Original message
21. Fuck bullies, ignorant pieces of shit
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:48 AM
Response to Reply #21
22. Isn't calling people names like "ignorant pieces of shit" a form of bullying?
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:50 AM
Response to Reply #22
23. no
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:53 AM
Response to Reply #23
24. OK.
Calling people nasty names is not a form of bullying.

I'll scratch that off the list.
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:57 AM
Response to Reply #24
25. Knock yourself out, Precious
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:58 AM
Response to Reply #25
26. Ah, I get it now.
It's not bullying when you do it.
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PeaceNikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 12:59 AM
Response to Reply #26
27. This seems to be a recurring theme on DU
as is evidenced by the other large thread on the topic.
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 01:01 AM
Response to Reply #27
28. You'll all be sorry in thirty years from now.
Because then I'll be using interspace hyper message planks to complain about how I never got over you people mistreating me.
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PeaceNikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 01:05 AM
Response to Reply #28
31. My snark travels at light speed through cyberspace.
*DUCK*
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 01:04 AM
Response to Reply #26
29. I'm quite convinced you 'get' very little at all
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 01:05 AM
Response to Reply #29
30. So you're saying I'm stupid.
But you're not being a bully.
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 01:09 AM
Response to Reply #30
33. Oh Honey, not "stupid" don't *be* stupid, you are the very most empirically provable example...
of mis-guided intellect :( But there's always tomorrow :thumbsup:
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 01:20 AM
Response to Reply #33
37. Uh huh...
and when caught, you pretend you didn't do it.

That's bullying at a what... 3rd grade level? 2nd?
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 10:21 AM
Response to Reply #37
42. Pft, "linker"/stalker, stalker/"linker", I can see why you'd want to enhance your brand...
into some cute, vapid little cyber-retort though having been stalked IRL and suffered the wrath of bullies such as yourself (admit it if you think you're man enough: you are very much a member of the "medicate the insane bridgit" club and you know it you're doing it here; the easiest thing I flushed out all day yesterday with the slightest of provocations you're so transfixed with odd behaviors that you are no-less than proud of in the course of providing cover for DU bullies indeed :eyes:) I know a spade when I see one and now you're oh-so-sad because that little slipper fits to a 't' so wear it

This entire post of your's?

Uh huh...
Posted by HiFructosePronSyrup
and when caught, you pretend you didn't do it.

That's bullying at a what... 3rd grade level? 2nd?


Typically childish nee-ner nee-ner HiFructosePronSyrup gibberish no more potent than a popcorn fart "3rd grade level? 2nd?" indeed...you would know that better than me

You're going to need to flap those dingy little wings *above* the DU radar, Precious, if you think you need to impact upon the ways in which I view the world; you'll need to be that great, blood thursty carrion you fancy youself to be and stop acting like a DoDo
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TicketyBoo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 08:37 AM
Response to Reply #22
39. It seems so to me.
Do you call people names to their face.

I try to be at least as polite online as I am in real life, for the most part.

My mother taught me manners, and I try to remember them.
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Vickers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 01:10 AM
Response to Original message
34. "Bullies usually end up being criminals anyway."

Ooooooooookay.

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PeaceNikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 01:13 AM
Response to Reply #34
35. And they should be forced to watch the death penalty being administered.
d'uh.
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proteus_lives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 01:13 AM
Response to Original message
36. So you want to fight bullies by becoming one?
:eyes:

You are what you hate.

I see a pizza in your future.
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TicketyBoo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 08:39 AM
Response to Original message
40. If you build it,
they will come.
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RebelOne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-05-09 09:17 AM
Response to Original message
41. The son of a co-worker killed himself because of bullying.
He was only 15 and very overweight. So, of course, he was bullied relentlessly. One day, he took a handgun that belonged to his father to school. He stood up in class and said that he was not going to take the bullying any more and shot himself in the head. That was 15 years ago, Since that time, his parents have appeared on many talk shows, including Oprah, campaigning against bullying in schools. They also have a side business in which they distribute information and videos to schools to combat bullying.
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