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American is a nation with a raging, inexplicable headache. Every 2 years, Americans are given a choice between two parties: the Pill Party and the Hammer Party.
The Hammer Party promotes the claim that America’s headache is stress related and caused by the strain of supporting all the lay-abouts, illegal immigrants and welfare queens dragging the nation down from her once proud glory. And the only solution to such a problem is to give business leaders bigger and bigger hammers to beat these reprobates into shape. (It is true, however, that many a Hammer voter hides the marks of hammer blows about the head that they obviously deserved, but are ashamed to acknowledge.)
The Pill Party, on the other hand, believes that searching for the cause of the headache is a waste of time and that America should focus on the cure: powerful analgesics to relieve the pain. Now, it is true that the last time the Pill Party was in power, those analgesics turned out to be placebos and that the headache only increased, but this time, the Pill Party promised Extra Strength Excedrin relief. And after eight years of hammer blows, that pill looked better and better.
Well, it been a year since we took the pill and there’s a distinct aftertaste of sugar in many a mouth. The disappointment is growing and now pundits are telling us that America’s mood is changing. Indeed, it appears that in 2010, America will vote for The Hammer.
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