I'm straight, I'm pissed, and I can't stand the hate anymore.

[givemebackmycountry]

I'm different.
I look different and that's not my fault.
I was born that way.
It's a birth defect called NF1, and it causes tumors to grow all over the body, inside and outside.
I didn't ask for this shit.
I had the most difficult type of NF1 at least for me, what's called "spontaneous NF1" which is one fucked up way of describing what happened.
Spontaneous is a three car accident on a Saturday morning in a Starbucks parking lot.

Spontaneous NF1 means you look one way at 35 and by 40 you look "different"
And by different, someone with NF1 has what I can only describe as pieces of rice under your skin.
Some bigger than others, and lot's of them.
It's wonderful for first impressions, and working in a professional environment as I do for a fortune 500 company.
Walk into a room one day with 20 people that you don't know with a face that looks like a cheese pizza and you will understand.
I deal with it.
I ain't fucking different.

I was the shit in my 20's and early 30's.
Full head of brown, thick hair from my grandmother on my mother's side.
Irish, tall at 6'4 and 180lbs of shit talking New Yorker.
I had a big mouth, and a sharp wit, and I pretty much fell into a good life after a not so good start that included a divorce and a well deserved stint in jail.
Then I changed things up and things broke for me and in reality I got lucky.
Good job, a couple of long term girlfriends, and many friends.
Some of those friends were gay.

Lydia was my friend.
Lydia was gay.

She worked with me in Dallas in the 80's and she used to cut my hair, and we would smoke joints and listen to jazz music.
Her Mom, Shirley owned a neighborhood hair salon in the hood.
Every time Lydia dragged me in there, Shirley would grab me by the arm and scream "feel this white boy's hair" and I had five black women running their hands through my hair with admiration.
And when we would leave Shirley, a big proud black woman herself, would give me a big hug and tell me "you're good by me".
Because I was a stupid white boy, that somehow was friends with her 6'3" gay daughter, and she knew I didn't give a shit about that.

Lydia loved Sheena Easton and Miles Davis.
She looked like Kareem Abdul Jabar.
She had a spat with a girlfriend, and she started dating someone else, and the old girlfriend got pissed and gave some crack to some street hood.
That street hood caught up with Lydia as she was checking her mail after church, arms loaded with groceries on a sunny Sunday morning, and shot her in the head three or four times.

I never thought about the fact that she was gay, all I cared about was that she liked the same music I did and she made me laugh.
And I'm thinking about her tonight.
I'm thinking about the gay people that I know right now, and that I have known in my life, and in my heart I know that everyone of them that I called my friend is hurting tonight.
I was pissed when I started this, and now I'm just sad.

Tomorrow morning some people will walk out the door gay, and I'll walk out the door with a fucked up face and a attitude.
We're just people.
Trying to get along and ahead, despite what people think of us.
All I want is to be happy, and I don't think that anyone should get to vote on that for me, or anyone else.
That ain't right.

It's like the Dude said in the Big Lebowski.
"That's like, your opinion man".

I ain't fucking different, and neither is anyone else.
People can't control the fact that we grow into who we are.
And gay or straight, like Shirley used to say when she would hug me, "you're good by me".

I wish the people who voted against my friends, dead or living, had half the heart that Shirley and her daughter did.
And the fact that they don't makes me sad, and I'm going to bed thinking of my friend.
I miss her.

I just read this back to myself and I almost deleted it, but on second thought, fuck it.
I'm posting it anyway.

[villager]

1. Awfully glad you didn't delete it...

And yeah, the hate just brings a kind of fatigue... don't those fuckers doing the hating ever get tired...

They've been keeping it up for decades now...

[JaneFordA]

44. Also VERY glad you did not delete this!

Thank you for posting!
"You're good by me," too!
--Jane the Pain

[HipChick]

2. I have stayed single in protest...because my gay friends cannot marry

and my mother (fundie) will not put any pics of me up with the rest of my family....because I am dem,unmarried, no kids and have no husband...never mind the fact, I own my home,professionally successful, and working on Phd

[Divine Discontent]

4. you are awesome! thx

I love people who go against the norm of what they're supposed to do. (like religious people, pastors, etc, who stand up for equality and won't be silenced). So you standing up for your Gay friends and dealing with your mom doing that makes you a warrior in my book.

keep fighting the good fight!

[greeneyedboy]

90. Thank you so much for your integrity. (Saluting). n/t

[Divine Discontent]

3. thank you for standing up for Lydia in your daily beliefs. Best to you! :)

[underseasurveyor]

5. SO glad you posted this

So very glad:grouphug:

[TexasObserver]

6. Recommend

Glad you didn't delete. Powerful first person piece.

[Heidi]

7. Recommended.

:kick:

[Bluenorthwest]

8. Thanks

So much of your self in that lovely post. Peace to you.

[Toasterlad]

9. K&R

[gtar100]

113. and again

[rasputin1952]

10. I, for one am glad you didn't delete this...

it is a powerful first person account of multiple tragedies.

Last night, I posted in another thread asking, "where are the O. Henry's, the Dickens', the Hemingway's when you need them most?"

Your piece is right up there with them...it shows the human side of real life through the clarity of an eye that can see the pain around them.

:kick:

[bertman]

13. Don't forget "where is our President Obama when we need him most?" As always he

has his finger in the wind trying to decide whether to be left, right, or center. And, of course, he would never buck a trend that shows 53% of Maine residents being opposed to gay marriage. Whatever happened to leadership and using the bully pulpit.

So sad and so infuriating.

[rasputin1952]

23. I can't blame this on Obama...

while he certainly didn't help. he's got a lot on his plate nationally, this was a state issue.

From a Sociological perspective, what I'm seeing is a a societal change in attitude over time, that is becoming more accepting in nature. I look at the #'s, they're not anywhere near what would have been a far different tally just 5 years ago. We're talking a 5% difference here...not a 75% difference. To me, that shows me that we, as a society, are on the cusp of a major change.

All societal changes take time, even during imminent danger; we didn't really get ramped up until 1943 for WWII, and that was a serious imminent danger...still, it took 2 years, during a major crisis to get society to change enough to get down to doing what had to be done. It wold be another 7 years before the military was desegregated, and another 19, before many people were allowed basic Human Rights.

I see a close defeat in ME, but I also see a win in WA. I want everyone to have the same Human Rights accorded everyone else. I wish it would happen overnight, but sadly, that's not how societies change.

[bertman]

55. I don't BLAME President Obama either. But I do think he has shown a particularly

laissez faire attitude toward gay rights in general since his inauguration. He appears to be unwilling to stand strongly for the concept that our gay brothers and sisters are equal to us "straight" folks.

Societal changes do take time, as you say. And they are changing in regard to gay rights, but what I'm arguing is that an eloquent and articulate President like Barack Obama who is christian and who professes to believe in equality for ALL Americans could influence the debate favorably IF he chose to do so.

I don't buy the "he's got a lot on his plate" argument as a good reason for him to be uninvolved. Of course he has a lot on his plate. He always will--because he's President. But he's chosen to show by his INaction that equal rights for gay Americans is not a priority for him. That is very sad and disappointing from someone who has been the victim of discrimination throughout his life and who pledged to work for equal rights for gays back WHEN HE NEEDED THEIR VOTES.

[backtomn]

110. HELLO !!!......

Were people asleep during the campaign? Does anyone remember Barack "marriage is between and man and a woman" Obama?? I don't know why anyone is surprised that he didn't do more to help here. It is like many of us thought that he was only kidding and that after elected he would lead the charge....sorry, no. If there is a federal law passed, he might sign it, but it doesn't look like he will risk his personal popularity on anything "controversial".......especially if he thinks that the gay rights vote has nowhere else to go.

[Jax]

79. Bullshit. He could have endorsed equal rights under the law

For EVERYONE. He could have spoken up about Maine and Washington and he CHOSE NOT TO.

Bullshit on his cowardce.

"sadly, that's not how societies change"...what a bunch of get to the back of the bus bullshjit.

Not surprising from you....

[rasputin1952]

82. He has endorsed ER's for everyone...

I don't know why he didn't for these specific occasions, I don't have that kind of access.

You, as well as everyone else who posts here knows that societal change takes time. Even a relatively small change at a job site takes time to adjust to, this is a major societal change, there is no other way to look at it. We've fought wars for these things in the past, we've passed laws...many of which were ignored for extraordinarily amounts of time...some still ignored today.

There are many facets to the situation, just as there are in all societies. Entire belief systems are in jeopardy, when things like that happen, change is slow to come. People are changing as they realize that there is no "threat" involved. That's the first perception, "How am I threatened?". The barriers are coming down, we see it every day, nowhere cleanly and as quickly as we'd like to see, but they are coming down.

As I posted above, just 5 years ago, this would have been a far different situation as opposed to 5%. No one has a Magic Wand, if anyone did, we'd all be far better off...(or far worse off for that matter).

Equal Rights for every human being is the goal. No more, certainly no less.

[truedelphi]

68. At moments when things like your comment appear, I remember how the

People of (Was it Norway or Denmark?) found out that their Jewish neighbors would be required to wear a six pointed star.

And the next day, their King put one on, and soon almost everyone in the nation wore one proudly.
That is what needs to happen here on this issue. (First they came for the Union Organziers, but I wasn't...)

President or no, Obama needs to put on that star. Even if it is just as a citizen.

[123m456h789d]

116. where is our President Obama?

Is your brain sleep? Why are you keep trying to bring obama in this. If you voted for him you

knew where he stoop on this issue and voted for him anyway. Now you want him to change his

views. I did not vote for him for this issues because I knew where he stoop he did not hide his

views on this issues. I vote for him to change healthcare, education, DADT,the Enco. Now. Now,

stop the hate, stop the bashing, stop the lies (Obama was for gay marriage before he was

against it). not true. Obama was then and is now for civil union not gay marriage.

Keep hope alive, take it to civil right court.

[qb]

11. Thank you. K&R

:hug:

[Arkansas Granny]

12. K&R

[Lancer]

14. Thank you.

You are a powerful storyteller. Not an emotion that doesn't ring true... even though we have not had the same life experiences, deep down we are all just people, aren't we? The people who vote against your friends and mine will never get that. It's their tragedy... their Bible tells them things mine doesn't.

K&R

[Soylent Brice]

15. powerful as hell. i hope everyone reads this.

p.s. 5,000,000,000 bonus points for the Big Lebowski reference.

[SallyMander]

16. This is the best post I've read on DU in a long time

Thank you. K&R :hug:

[titoresque]

108. +1 nt.

[NoSheep]

17. Recommended and so glad you posted this. I have gay friends who died of broken hearts.

Drank themselves to death. I'm so sorry you lost your friend Shirley. I wish I could give you a real hug. Thank you for being one of the good people that make life worth living.

:hug:

[SlingBlade]

18. Lydia seemed to be a very cool person

and you a very good friend. Your story here assures that Lydia lives on in the
hearts and minds of those who read it. It really is a sad story and one that
highlights the condition of those not "Blessed", to know a person who society claims
to be different. Thanks for sharing, Especially now after reading about the obvious
homophobia displayed by many people in the State of Maine.

"you're good by me", As well, Also a straight guy and profoundly saddened. Thanks :toast:

[Ishoutandscream2]

19. Great post. You are a fine person

A very powerful message for me this morning as I start my workday. I will reflect on this as I do my work with my kids. Thank you for this.

[kdpeters]

20. You're good by me.

I'd be proud to call you a friend.

[Brickbat]

21. K&R.

Thank you for writing this.

[handmade34]

22. I too am missing someone

thank you so much for your post. I am crying this morning thinking of my friend Dennis. He lived upstairs and in so many ways brought me joy. Dennis was an artist, poet, friend, neighbor and playmate for my kids. He killed himself shortly after he moved from my house. He was also gay in a small town that wouldn't understand.

[tinkerbell41]

24. K&R: I am questioning my reply to this but here goes.

I was married for 7 yrs to my best friend. He is still my best friend. We lived 5 houses apart growing up. We loved being together every minute of everyday. But our "marriage" was a mess.
He is gay, thought he could change, when he came out to me, the first question he had was if I hated him or felt different about him? My answer was immediate no hesitation "you haven't changed, you are still the same person, I still love you."
I was angry that our family was breaking up, I was angry that we couldn't fix our "marriage".
I was NEVER angry because of who he was. We are still friends, he brings his new serious boyfriends to meet me, (strange I know) we spend Christmas together with our child, cut our tree down together every year. 25 yrs of a friendship I wouldn't trade for anything.
I have always been welcoming and friendly to everyone since I was young. I have never held prejudice in my heart. I truly feel he has made my life more full and interesting, tragic yes, but
I have learned much more than someone who would shun people who are "different" than themselves.

[rasputin1952]

27. You shouldn't question your reply...

it was eloquent and from the heart.

:hi:

[tinkerbell41]

46. Sometimes revealing personal info to strangers takes some thought.

Thank you. It is still very painful sometimes to think about what might have been.
I want happiness for him and I want him and his partner to have the same rights I do.

[gkhouston]

32. That doesn't surprise me at all. One of my gay friends is still very close friends

with the woman he was engaged to before he came out. He's been with a partner now for over 20 years and he and his not-legal-but-de-facto-spouse have been excellent role models to me in my shorter-term "legitimate" :eyes: straight marriage. It's insane that he can't be legally married, too.

[noiretextatique]

94. i have a similar situation...sort of

i've been an out lesbian for 25+ years, but an old boyfriend recently contacted me on facebook, and now i am questioning a lot of things. i have always leaned more towards bisexual, but i haven't dated a man in years. this guy was my first love, my first boyfriend, and my first sexual partner. i haven't seen him in 30 years. we tried to keep in touch after he married, but i knew it would not work...too much energy between us. he just got divorced. we've talked on the phone a few times, but haven't made plans to see each other yet.
i am already wondering how we would fit into each other's lives. it's been a long, long time since i had a man in my life. for now...i will just enjoy the memories and welcome an old friend back into my life.

[tinkerbell41]

115. I don't know what to say.

Gay, straight, bi, doesn't change those "connections" with people. It's all so confusing. My ex and I had amazing chemistry, maybe our lives would have been better if we had stayed together.
Try it and see. We all know life is strange, and the older we get the easier it is to take chances.
We aren't getting any younger and you only have one go round. So it doesn't work, okay, neither did his marriage, and you guys have history together which makes it a little easier.
I met up with 2 male friends from my past from FB and I was open minded, but kinda hoping sparks would fly. No sparks. But I had fun, one got me to get back on my bike, and we went riding a few times, made him dinner once. I am glad I did it, but I am still looking for the one.

[noiretextatique]

118. you are right: the connection is with the person

another old friend from college recently contacted me on facebook too, and a couple of old girlfriends. we are definitely not getting any younger..i will be 51 soon, and he's 54. i am going to keep and open mind, and an open heart.
as long as your heart is open, you will attract THE ONE :hi:

[proReality]

25. A BIG K&R

Your instinct to go with posting was right on.

[FourScore]

26. Wow. That was powerful. k&r

[Enthusiast]

28. I am happy to read your

post. Glad you didn't delete it.

One universal truth-we would all be better off without the intolerant assholes.

We are anti-asshole!

[get the red out]

29. I am upset as well

I am so sick of voting on whether citizens of this country should have "rights". Left up to the states, there would be no civil rights for females in the south I am sure. They would repeal them in a heart beat. And if states could vote on a "state religion", how many people in this country would find themselves completely loosing their freedom of religion in one election? As many as live in "red states". Likewise with freedom of speech, I would imagine many states would vote to limit that greatly if they could (for citizens the "majority" didn't want to hear, of course).

I don't see why the whole country can't see this?

[DrZeeLit]

36. I agree. Why the hell are we voting on RIGHTS? Aren't RIGHTS inherent? This is a travesty .

I just NEVER get why this is so important to people -- I mean the ones who want to get involved in somebody else's love life?
Why does it matter so much who can marry?
I mean... in their day-to-day lives, what's the point?
Do they even know anyone who is gay?
Is hate such a factor that they have to let it spill over on other people?
And if it's solely about religion... isn't a law based on one religion illegal? And don't these people understand that others don't have to follow their religion's rules?

I hear all this and I want to shout: IT'S NONE OF YOUR F-ING BUSINESS!!!

This whole issue is so fundamentally odd to me. Out of whack. Overkill.
Who the heck cares who gets married?

I'm going to work, heading for the market, stopping at the library, cooking dinner, writing... and NOT ONCE in my entire day did I concern myself with anybody's marriage. Probably not even mine.

For all the backwoods, folksy, "live and let live" conservative mentality -- what's wrong with this picture?

[Kajsa]

45. The civil rights of all are inherent!

In fact,

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

-The Declaration of Independence-

I notice the Fundies conveniently ignore the above.

[DrZeeLit]

88. You're right. that IGNORANCE (exactly the word in all ways) is amazing, simply amazing.

Now if we voted on something like say... THE "RIGHT" TO OWN A HANDGUN... as opposed to the whole "militia" wording of the amendment.

Oh, let's do. Let's vote on their rights, and see how they like it.
While we're at it... why don't we vote on all marriage? Make all marriage "civil unions"?

I guess I'm just not done being pissed off, am I?

[Kajsa]

117. I'm not done either, Dr.ZeeLit.

This battle for equality is FAR from over.

[patrice]

98. "abolish it", because if one right is not a right, then any right is not a right.

[glitch]

30. I love DU for posts like this and posters like you. K & R nt

[Berry Cool]

31. Another K&R from someone who is very, very glad you didn't delete this.

This society has a long way to evolve. I wish it didn't.

[Mrs. Overall]

33. EXCELLENT post.

K & R

[Lex]

34. Beautiful. "You're good by me" too. nt

[DWilliamsamh]

I'm glad you posted this.....Thanks

I have chills thinking of it. I am just sad today about what happened in Maine. Progress is being made but obviously not fast enough. We must keep fighting. We have obviously won the argument with the thinkers in this country it's the rest of 'em we have to keep working on. Unfortunately that seems to be the majority. Dammit I hate small minded bigots. They are "different" in my mind.

[juajen]

35. It is simply criminal to enforce this stupidity on people who only want to

live their lives. I'm grieving with them. Thanks for your very meaningful post.

[chrisa]

57. I've come to the conclusion that many people are simply stupid.

They're afraid of anyone that is different from them. Listen to the idiotic, bigotted, almost gut-busting (except people listen to these idiots, so it's not funny at all) arguments against Gay Marriage.

Seriously, how can anybody be this stupid? It's unreal. Might as well just say that, if gay marriage passes, UFOs will converge on earth and blast our major cities with heat rays. People openly admit that how minorities were treated pre-Civil Rights was wrong, but when Gay Rights comes up, they get all fired up, in "T-Warrior" (a.k.a. brainless mouthpiece) mode, talking about Marriage is "sacred." Stop using codewords, drones, We know what you really mean.

[Beetwasher]

37. .

:thumbsup:

[Frustratedlady]

38. "Good on you" for posting your thoughts.

It is good for all of us to hear the hurt in others' minds and try to correct them where we can or accept them if we can't.

Walk tall! You are among friends.

[lunatica]

39. I'm crying with you

The worst of it is that the minority is doing the crap shit fucked up voting. If it's the baby boomers then I'll be glad when we're the minority as the assholes die off.

[Torn_Scorned_Ignored]

40. Thank you for posting this

it gives me an opportunity to vent about something that really pissed me off yesterday.

I was half watching TV and hanging around DU when I saw on TV a clip of people on their face praying that Gay Marriage would be outlawed.

They don't get on their face and pray about world peace or ending war. They don't get on their face and pray that the hungry will be fed or global warming won't annilate us all. They do't get on their face and ask that all those babies born to women who place them for adoption get good homes, even though they pray God have vengence on abortion doctors. Nor do they take those children and give them loving homes.

No, they waste their prayers asking GOD to smite loving couples.

I have a feeling God will not hear them.

Lk. 13.25-27
21 ¶ Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. Ps. 6.8

[redqueen]

41. *sniff*

:pals:

Thanks for posting it.

[Mad_Dem_X]

42. Thank you for sharing this.

I'm sorry about your friend. :hug:

And this straight woman is angry, too.

[freddie mertz]

43. K & R.

It is yet another sad day.

We need leadership at the federal level now.

And we are not getting it.

[lightningandsnow]

47. Thank you so much for posting this.

I'm bisexual and I live with invisible disabilities.

This affected me on a very deep level.

:hug:

[tekisui]

48. knr!~

[Arugula Latte]

49. I am straight and so fucking angry, too.

Picturing more and more homophobic old bigots croaking over the years makes me feel just a wee bit better, but not much. The progress is much too glacial.

[Flying Dream Blues]

50. I wish I could rec this 1000 times.

Please keep writing, your gift could change the world.
:hug:

[GCP]

51. This was a wonderful post

Thank you for not deleting it - how about sending it in as an op-ed to a newspaper?

It's very powerful stuff.

K & R.

[jesus_of_suburbia]

52. Thank you, givemebackmycountry!

[Giterdun]

53. "Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged!"

Why is it SO difficult for those who want to condemn a different sexual orientation from their own, that the people who have a different sexual orientation were born with their orientations just as the condemners were born with theirs?

There's over a 50% divorce rate among the "straight" condemners, making more and more children to be raised in a single parent home who is never home anyway due to their career's but they find the need to condemn others for the way they were born and because all they want is to be able to live together with other people born the same way as them.

Must we condemn another to make ourselves more rightous? How can such devout Christians hold SO much hate within themselves for another human being, without trying to understand they're merely trying to live the way they were born?

[Politicub]

54. I'm wondering if a day will come when LGBT rights will be non negotiable?

I'm sick as well of my rights being something that can be voted on. It doesn't make sense, and I don't know what will change it. It's absurd that this continues to happen.

I hope history looks back on this time and casts the people that dedicate their lives to kicking gays in the face as neanderthals and villians.

It's evil to use human rights as a political football. It needs to stop.

[DontTreadOnMe]

56. what a great post

this is why I come to DU... smart, interesting people with articulate writing skills.

A+ Bump

[The Midway Rebel]

58. Beautiful! Thanks for sharing this! n/t

[Hatchling]

59. It's not just gay hate,

It's hate for everybody.

I have a fat friend (I'm fat too so don't take this the wrong way) who hates the black ceramic tech at school. This tech is talented, has taught me 90% of what I know. Now ceramic pieces in the greenware stage are extremely fragile especially if the work is delicate and it will sometimes break on being loaded into the kiln. Green pieces being fired in the kiln will often explode due to errors made by the person who made the piece. When breakage or explosions happen to the white tech, according to my fat friend, it's just the way things happen. When they happen to the black tech, it's because she is careless, clumsy and just plain bent on destruction. The black tech actually has far more skills that the white tech, but my fat friend cannot see this through her hate. And yet when people diss her for her weight she is angry and she is best friends with a gay man. WTF?

On the other hand my gay roommate hates fat people and blacks. WTF? Yeah, I didn't know this before he moved in or he would not be my roommate and he won't be my roommate for much longer.

A black person who is in a therapy group I attend is furious because her therapeutic contact in the group is a very out there gay woman. Ironically she has no trouble with me, because while I am out, I am not out there. WTF?

And just the hate I see while using public transportation daily. Young and old hating each other. Healthy and disabled angry at each other. WTF?

We are ALL people. And we ALL deserve our rights. Especially the right to common courtesy and empathy from others.

I am saddened deeply by all of this.

[LittleGirl]

60. Some people suck; especially the bigots

Thanks for your story. Seeing that they didn't pass this law in Maine, didn't help my day either.

You're good by me, too.

[Gedankenaustausch]

61. good stuff

and props on the Lebowski quote!

[TuxedoKat]

62. I just reread your post...

I missed some things the first time I read it. I'm glad you didn't delete it and I'm sorry
about Lydia, she sounds like she was a wonderful friend.

[stevenleser]

63. K&R

:pals:

[cecilfirefox]

64. Bump for justice. We'll all make it down the road together some day soon. nt

[hfojvt]

65. I think I am different, and so is everybody else

Although if we are all different, then aren't we all the same?

But this NF1 is recent for you, because I do not remember it from when we met at a DU meet-up. I remember a big guy who lived close to where we met and who didn't like his user name, and I said it was a great name that could also be shortened to GMBMC just like NSMA's name.

Anyway, this is a great post, very poignant and interesting. And even though you started with "I'm pissed" you did not espouse any hatred of the 'haters'. and that's good by me.

[Parker CA]

66. Awesome post!! Glad you avoided the delete button. nt.

[noiretextatique]

67. i live a pretty insular world: a black and gay world

so i am not always aware of the wonderful people outside that world. lydia had a great friend in you, and i know she appreciates what you wrote. it's sad that there are such hateful people in our country, but i know they are not the majority. we lost this battle, but we will eventually win this war. love is far more powerful than hate, isn't it?

[winyanstaz]

69. I am with you....time for the hate to go away....

[theFrankFactor]

70. Kick and Rec

[SeattleGirl]

71. Thank you for writing this.

I am also glad you didn't delete it. You're good by me too.

[bgolden]

72. want you to know....

I showed your post to a friend...someone who considers herself a Democrat, but really only because she "hates" Repubs. She is Christian, and because of that, is automatically against gay marriage and abortion, although she won't admit it to anyone besides me(and a handful of others). Anyway...I showed her this post, and it made her cry. This, and a lot of other things posted here today that have expressed the true pain of this struggle, have finally made her change her mind about supporting equal rights for ALL. She's ready to join the fight! Thank you for posting this so honest and sincere story.

[onestepforward]

73. K&R

[blueamy66]

74. Damn awesome post!

Thanks for posting this. It has REALLY made me think.

I wish you well.

[Miss_Underestimated]

75. I'd like to see people go after the tax exempt status of the Catholic & Mormon church

These initiatives aren't just about hate - they're in the playbook of what to do to keep an organization well funded.

[WoodyD]

76. Wow. n/t

[dflprincess]

77. I'm straight, I'm pissed and I'm tired of the majority - including a good many people at DU -

telling a minority they have to be patient and wait for their rights until the "time is right".

They have waited long enough and the time is now.

[Doc Martin]

104. Enough!

[Cetacea]

78. K&R +++

[Zoeisright]

80. K&R

Add me to the totally pissed off group.

[izzybeans]

81. K and R

[jonnyblitz]

83. outstanding post!! thank you for taking the time to write this.

it was worth it! :hi

[BrklynLiberal]

84. Kick....because it needs to be seen...by everyone.

:pals:

[Uncle Joe]

85. Thanks for sharing givemebackmycountry.

Kicked and recommended.:thumbsup:

[Autonomy]

86. Thanks for not deleting it

I just looked up neurofibromatosis. It puts my arthritis and ankylosing spondylitis into perspective.

[David Zephyr]

87. You simply are amazing! It's people like you that keep me at the DU.

In awe. Edited to K&R.

[demigoddess]

89. keep ranting, we need more, some of us feel the same way

some of the nicest people i have met were gay. I hate that they are treated like second class citizen in this country but can be married in countries such as the super catholic countries such as Spain.

[proud2BlibKansan]

91. Your heart is perfect

:hug:

[givemebackmycountry]

100. Thank you Proud. That means so much to me.

Like Shirley used to tell me, your good by me too.

:pals:

[me b zola]

92. K&R!

[mrs premise]

93. So poignant and true

One of my best friends is gay. We spent many wild times in the 90's, our crazy 20's. He stood with me at my wedding. Occasionally, we would talk about his being gay and he knew it by the time he was eight years old. He didn't decide to be gay, he just was. Just like he had blonde hair and blue eyes. It would make him miserable. He wanted to settle down and have a family. He'd lament the fact that if he was straight it would be so much easier. Now, he is 43, living with his parents, and pretty much given up on finding anybody. A string of painful relationships made him think that it is better to be alone. I feel so bad for him. He is such a wonderful guy and these fundie assholes think his life is a "choice". That if he just prayed it would go away. Hatred and intolerance are a choice, being gay is not. I choose to love him and all those who suffer because of the small mindedness of the few. I am glad you did not delete this wonderful post.

[undergroundpanther]

95. Thanks

[patrice]

96. Thanks for not deleting this!! I'm sick of the Hate and Fear too.

especially since it is directed at people who are trying to learn how to Love and commit to one another.

I know it's not much of a consolation to think about how weak these people are, but it is true. The Haters and the ignorant sheep who follow them just display their own insecurities about their relationships and their own sexuality. There are those who think they are God and then there are those who are stupid and afraid. What they are doing bodes harm not only for GLBT folk, but hetero-relationships on the average will be stunted also. This is evil.

[varelse]

97. Bookmarked, kicked, recommended

Thank you for posting this. I'm grateful that you shared it instead of deleting it.

[slackmaster]

99. Well written, heartfelt, grammatically clean, beautifully composed; K&R

:kick:

And I agree with you.

I ain't fucking different, and neither is anyone else.

You are a unique individual, just like everyone else. ;-)

[Martin Eden]

101. You have reminded me of the LETTER FROM A VERMONT MOTHER

What she wrote and what you wrote are truth and beauty, despite (or because of) the ugliness you expose in others.



This editorial is from Sunday's Concord Monitor.
Sunday, April 30, 2000
By Sharon Underwood
For the Valley News (White River Junction, VT/Hanover, NH)

As the mother of a gay son, I've seen firsthand how cruel and misguided people can be.

Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people.

I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny. My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay. He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other
boys. He was called "fag" incessantly, starting when he was 6.

In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn't bear to continue living any longer, that he didn't want to be gay and that he couldn't face a life without dignity.

You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don't know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn't put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it's about time you started doing that.

At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won't get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don't know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty
that it is inborn.

If you want to tout your own morality, you'd best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I'm puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that's not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?

A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I'll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for "true Vermonters."

You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn't give their lives so that the "homosexual agenda" could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart.

He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn't the measure of the man.

You religious folk just can't bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance. How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage.

You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin. The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about "those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing" asks: "What ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings than we are?"

Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?

[rasputin1952]

105. Wow! Hell of a letter...

:hi:

[donheld]

102. k & R

[Doc Martin]

103. This gay man thanks you

I am holding back tears not because I am sad but because of the humanity I was blessed to experience in reading this.

[Hekate]

106. Kick and 300th Rec. Good thing you didn't delete. nt

[ruggerson]

107. thanks, dude

you are a solid human being.

[Agony]

109. getting angrier by the day... at american "un"exceptionalism

[Kitty Herder]

111. K&R!

[rhett o rick]

112. Thank you for posting this. I feel bad for gays in Maine but happy for those in Washington

(the state, stupid). We win some and loose some but I think we are progressing. Two of my best friends are gay as is my son and his wonderful partner. They only want to get along. To get the rights like the rest of us. They have no "agenda", just loving people.

It is so sad to me that there are so many willfully ignorant people in this country that are so easily lead by the CorpAmerica bullies to hate their fellow man and woman.

And they think they are Christians.

[earcandle]

114. The body is made up of 12 inorganic cell salts and when mixed with the organic

material of the body, new cell life is generated.  When the
blood has a proper nutritional balance of these microscopic
mineral salts, old cells are thrown off, and new cells replace
old ones. When the energy is active, the body stays relatively
fresh and freshened as it ages.  

If no exercise, nor food that provides these basic twelve
salts, then we go into a state of disease.  " Disease is
the result of a disturbance of the molecular motion of one of
the inorganic tissue salts." 
 
More about the salts.  
See if you can get this at the Library:

"The Twelve Tissue Remedies of Schussler:Boericke &
Dewey; B. Jain Publishers (P) LTD. New Delhi (India)"

Might be something to help there.  I have the first chapter
printed in my Health and Well Being section of
Noodle Brain Productions.  Go to .com and education and find
the tab.  That can explain how the body regenerates. 

Good luck.

And thank you for your integrity and your ability to share
your strength.