(Satire) Man Sues Axe Spray Over Side Effect

[The Straight Story]

Man Sues Axe Spray Over Side Effect

Axe claims it can make women love you even if you’re dumb enough to smell like body spray you can buy at the drugstore. Yet poor, unsuspecting dudes spend their allowance hard-earned cash on the man deodorizer all across the world. And shockingly enough, Vaibhav Bedi, after seven years of shellacking himself in Lynx (the Asian version of Axe), has discovered the real “Axe effect”....

Bedi, apparently, found that Axe will keep you a virgin. The hapless 26-year-old Indian just can’t seem to attract a lady despite his aroma. (Or because of it?) So, he is suing Unilever, the makers of the scum bag spritz, for falsely claiming it is an eau de doin’ it. He’s asking the courts for about $80,000 in damages for side effects he calls “depression and psychological damage.” In other words, “I’ve gone crazy pretending my right hand is a lady.”

Because of the suit, the New Delhi court has been collecting half-used Axe products from unsatisfied customers (pun intended) to run forensic lab tests. Shudder to think what they’ll find out its chemical components are!

Bedi’s lawyer thinks he’s got a case even stronger than the cologne. “There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact, some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys.” Cough, Padma Lakshmi. We have to admit the lawyer man’s got a point, sure, but he’s also pretty confident Bedi will, at least, get a big cash settlement. Well, if Axe didn’t work at attracting women for poor Bedi, maybe being rich will.

Ack! Despite our top of the line BS detector, we were totally duped. And so was the Scottish newspaper we got the story from! So, like a crazy stupid lawsuit, take this piece as the joke it was meant to be. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction and sometimes a hilarious story is better than nothing.

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-indian-man-sues-axe-over-side-effect/