Living Small in a high-cost economy

[SoCalDem]

My friend Dave (not his real name) and I were having a discussion yesterday. He's been unemployed for a very long time now. Before he was unemployed, he had what we all claim to be a middle class life.. the house, the nice car, the family.

Since his unemployment, he's lost all of that..except the car. His wife and he divorced (his youngest kid is 20 or so). It was an amicable divorce, but his prolonged unemployment took a heavy toll on the marriage, and probably hastened the end of it.

He actually was offered a job, a few months ago, but it required standing for periods of time, and he cannot do that. he was injured in a car accident years ago and has a terribly injured leg. It healed badly and he needs some serious surgery to straighten it out. He has Medicaid, but since he "can" walk, they will not allow for surgery, and during the years he had a job, he had pretty bad insurance, and since his job did not interfere with his disability, he just put it on the back burner.

He's a 50-something guy, whose physical capabilities make finding another job a real problem.

He's been doing odd jobs, and selling stuff on Craig's List, to keep himself afloat.. He left all the household stuff behind, with his wife, so he literally could fit everything he owns, in his car. He rents a room from a friend who also lost his job, for $300 a month, and cooks his own meals based on what's on sale at the grocery store, and how much cash he has on him when he shops.

The odd thing is this.. He said to me that even though he has NOTHING, compared to what he used to have, he is actually happier. He sees his kids more now, and his relationship with the ex-wife is better than when they were married...he has dinner at her place at least once a week, and there is no fighting or arguing anymore.

He said that since he has so little, he does not fear losing it anymore. The fear of losing what he had, was what drove him for all those years, and now that he's lost it, he's actually more hopeful than anxious.

Perhaps he's just one of those cockeyed optimists we always hear about. I expected him to be bitter & angry, but he is just the opposite.

He said he knows that he will have to start over , but he's learned to do with so much less than he ever thought he could, and when he does find work again, he knows he'll never again fall into the trap of being owned by things.

[Brigid]

1. Sounds like he's learned the hard way what's important.

Things can't make you happy. Maybe his optimism comes from a sense of freedom, now that he has nothing.

[NYC_SKP]

6. Yep. We don't 'own' things... Things 'own' us.

I remember when everything I owned fit into a long bed Ford truck.

I didn't have much to worry about.

:donut:

[carlyhippy]

2. wow, food for thought for sure

Hope that all goes well for your friend.


the want for things as a society is the fuel that has driven the car companies, the credit card companies, the housing market to the extremes they are today. Are we really free when we have these industries constantly sticking their hands in our pockets, and when the pockets are empty they feel they have authority to try and ruin us.....

[supernova]

3. There's a certain peace

that comes with being forced to give up all that you were taught was important.

There is no more fear when you don't have anything to be taken away anymore, as far as things go.

I haven't quite lost everything, but a good deal of a lot, repeatedly, and you know what? I am a very different sort of person than when I started out on this road.

I hope he is able to find stability at some point.

[Shagbark Hickory]

4. Nice story (well you know what I mean)

My dream is to pay off my house so that I don't have that anxiety of losing that if I am injured for a prolonged period of time. I paid off my car note and it is truly liberating. I think if people stopped living on credit and actually practiced living like they had already lost their job (an exercise that was actually suggested by Suze Orman) by cutting back to the bare essentials, they will be much happier. When you can save up and actually afford something, a lot of time when you get there you decide you don't want or need it.

I think a lot about the people that are living in tents out in california. PArt of me wants to help and part of me wants to join them.

[SoCalDem]

5. Housing is the killer expense

People CAN live on Social Security IF they don;t have to pay all or most of it out in rent or a house payment every month.

I am planning on buying a mobile home in a few weeks for my dear friend (more like a sister) to live in. She's having a difficult time and needs a place to live in..but what I am finding is that the damned space rents around here run $595 a month and UP..so many elders who paid off their "place" years ago, are still saddled with those monthly payments..ans out here it's rare to find a mobile on its own patch of land..

I have found a few that would be wonderful for her, and the payments would be under $200 a month, but when you add in insurance, taxes and space rent..we're back up to $900, no matter how we figure it.. We need for her to be able to pay this off in 5 years (when my husband retires, and we'll need that money back), but it's looking more and more like she cannot afford it, even with us loaning her the money, interest free..:(

[2Design]

15. I looked into this - the space rents go up 5% a year - and you

are responsible for it as long as it has a home on it - by the time you get done, you are right you can rent something - there is no real ownership because your costs are going up and up and up - if you are on land of your own, that can curtail it some but those types of homes are selling for the same price as sturdy/stick built homes - so you are better off with a sturdy home.

[SoCalDem]

16. That's probably why so many 55+ parks end up owning the mobiles

The ones around here do not allow the owner to rent them out, so when they become unaffordable, those old folks are between a rock & a hard place..they have to keep paying space rent, or have to pony up cash to have it moved out, or try to sell it for peanuts, IF they can find a buyer "acceptable" to the park owners.... One lady we spoke to said that when her husband died suddenly, she ended up having to abandon the mobile after a few months, because she could not afford to stay, and of the two offers she got, 1 couple was not "accepted" by the park owners, and the space rent they were offered was almost $100 more a month than she had been paying, so they backed out.. she ended up deeding it over to the park. She was an invalid, and her husband had been her caretaker. Their paid-for retirement home became her albatross:(

[2Design]

18. yes this is what I found - I was looking for myself and realized it is not

a good idea especially in Florida - you have to evacuate in storms and then you have the cost of staying somewhere else - so what was once a good idea has been taken over by major corporations who have bought up most parks and raised the rents on new incoming people while having to slow raise it on the others.

It is a nice idea but ruined by the overpriced lot rents.

[Brigid]

7. There was a thread about this happening in MI, too.

Welcome back to the '30's.

[Shagbark Hickory]

8. All we need is some dust and locusts and we'll be in business. nt

[The2ndWheel]

9. Does "Dave" stay up all night and make soap?

Do you know all that, because "Dave" knows that?

[glitch]

10. Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

-Kris Kristofferson

[Buns_of_Fire]

11. I think Dave and I would get along just fine.

Our stories sound uncannily alike. It's a hard thing to lose everything -- but, once you've gone through it, the thought of losing what you have left just isn't all that frightening anymore.

I have a fairly well-to-do (by local standards) acquaintance who is absolutely terrified that everybody wants to take what he's got. He's the most paranoid person I've ever been around in my life -- and the most miserable (pre-ulcerous stomach problems, mostly). The fact that he's maybe just a little bit greedy doesn't help matters any. And between the two of us, I know I'm far more content with my life.

I wish Dave luck.

[SoCalDem]

12. I think he's going to be ok financially, but I really worry about his injured leg

He wears one of those big braces on it, and at first I was amazed that he could even walk, because it's so misshapen. It makes you wince when you see him walk. There has to be some spinal issues caused by years of compensating for it, but he's got no choice, but to carry on.

One thing I learned was that Medicaid prescriptions only cost him $2, and that he pays $30 a month for complete coverage..(except for the surgery he needs)

[notesdev]

13. I learned that lesson a long time ago

good thing I was in my 20s at the time, saved me a lot of grief.

To think that I might otherwise have spent my whole life running the rat race only to find out that there never was any cheese at the end of that maze.

[troubledamerican]

14. "Uniquely American"

as GWB called it

[PassingFair]

17. The "fortunate" among us qualify for disability....

what a sorry country we are.

:cry: