Random question (On A Rather Morbid Subject)

[Libertas1776]

I was wondering, given the events of my day today, if anybody else here has ever seen a dead body? :wow: I know some must be thinking, "yeah, great topic, buh bye :sarcasm: I know this is a pretty much "well duh" question for folks on a police force or in the military, or in a hospital etc, or in a Stephen King short story narrated by Richard Dreyfus. But I am just wondering about the average person, who is not pron e to seeing such a sight.

I am asking this because as I was riding down the expressway this afternoon, the traffic suddenly came to a crawl, and we could see lights flashing up ahead. So you'd probably figure it was an accident, right? Finally, after about 10 minutes when we got up there and slowly passed, we saw a bunch of police cars on the shoulder. But as I glanced over, a big white truck passed us, blocking the view of the scene. I grumbled since I couldn't see, having let morbid curiosity get the best of me. Well, I pretty much got my fill...way too much of it.

In a few seconds the truck moved on and there between a police car and a civilian car, and surrounded by a bunch of cops was a body lying on the ground. Only its upper torso was covered with some kind of tarp, but below the thigh level, a pair of pale white legs were exposed for everyone to see. Obviously I was not prepared for such a sight. What was even more troubling was the fact that it did not appear to be an accident. There was only that one car there, and all of its doors and trunk was open. There wasn't any sign of damage to the vehicle, nor was there any other car that could have been involved. The legs were naked which leads me to believe that the whole body...oi, I can't believe I am typing this...was naked. The only conclusion I can come to is that the police pulled that body out of the car, possibly the trunk and that person did not die in an accident, obviously.

Imagine, my viewing of this scene only lasted maybe 10 seconds, but the whole ride home I was left with these thoughts swimming in my head. Sure I have been to wakes and have seen bodies in caskets, but I have never see something like that. What a world we live in where you have to pass such a sight and just keep moving, like it was nothing out of the ordinary. I remember once driving up from Virginia through D.C. and a jeep on the opposite direction of the highway flipped over and rolled while all the cars came to a slamming break. But what could you do, except keep driving and wonder if that person...well, whatever.

I realize that this event, although major for me, means peanuts to persons in fields more accustomed to dealing with death, or even people living in war torn and or drought and famine ridden places where death is an every day occurrence for the mass of people.
Nonetheless, it was still pretty disturbing for me, possibly seeing a murdered body. I've been checking my local news but so far haven't seen anything about it.

Having any other DUers had a similar experience or thoughts on the subject?

[Arctic Dave]

1. Not dumb topic at all. The first time I saw a dead person was the same

way. I was very young living in San Diego and a woman tried cross I 5 and didn't make it. She was not covered and I remember seeing her with blood coming out of her nose and mouth as it pooled in front of her.

[Libertas1776]

2. Thanks for commenting

Oh my, that would have been too much for me, seeing a bloody face and all :scared: Poor woman.

[Arctic Dave]

5. Death is one of those topics people seem to be shy with.

I was suprised to find out my wife has never seen a dead person.

[nadinbrzezinski]

51. There is a group that I KNOW will probably never see one

Jews who are cohanim. They are forbidden by Religious law to go into a cemetery unless they are dead... or to see or handle a dead body. They are in theory the descendants of the priestly class, and handling a dead body is considered rather impure.

These kinds of traditions are always fascinating to me.

[Arctic Dave]

60. Really? I've never heard of them. That is fascinating.

[vadawg]

65. my wife is the same, kinda surprised me, i was used to seeing dead people growing up

even slept in the same room as many dead relatives. my wife kinda freaks when we tell stories of dead relatives and the adventures we had.

[Demoiselle]

3. Yes, I've seen dead people.

But not accident victims. Instead, people I've loved, who've come to the end of their lives, lying peacefully in bed. I'm moved to comment here because I've realized at those times that seeing the body of someone you know and love who is no longer alive really does make you understand the reality of death. And, I guess, the reality that someone who was very much alive to you is really gone.
To put it crudely, there's something very very dead about a dead body, even of someone dear and familiar to you.
I've never seen a dead stranger. I imagine that it would have the same effect...but, maybe with a little "distance" to it.
You've asked an interesting question, Libertas.

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. Same here. Seen family, friends and acquaintances. And it is really weird and unsettling behind

the grief.

[Libertas1776]

11. I have to add

yes, there is something very humbling about seeing a lifeless body. And when you think about the fact that that person once lived, laughed, loved, cried, hated, had dreams, hopes, aspirations, maybe all accomplished or maybe none at all. And then in a blink of an eye, all that can come to an end, and all that is left is a lifeless vessel. But, like you said, it really helps you understand the reality of death. The old saying goes that life is too short, but in the end, for most, life will be long, very long. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can start living.

[Habibi]

13. Yes, I've experienced that too.

And you're right: "someone who was very much alive to you is really gone. To put it crudely, there's something very very dead about a dead body, even of someone dear and familiar to you." I would add: *especially* someone dear and familiar to you.

[Allyoop]

26. My Dad

When I went to view his body after his long drawn out fight against COPD - 6 weeks on a ventilator - it really hit me that this lifeless body was not my Dad. He had gone on to whatever there is after life. I hope there is a hereafter, but maybe not. If we knew that one life was all we had, I think we would try a little harder to live a "good life". Of course, we wouldn't all define a good life in the same terms would we?

I have never seen a traumatized body and hope to never see one. I never look at accident scenes cause I don't want to see a mangled body.

[demwing]

64. Not to get too off topic, but I have experienced the same thing

Watching my mother and my son die, I am 100% convinced in the existence of a soul. Watching the light go out on a life, in the body of one you loved, is a religious experience. They are there, and then they leave. The body they leave behind is nothing but a reminder of who they were. We are not our bodies any more than we are our clothes, or our cars. These things are the external shells we use to identify ourselves physically, and move ourselves through this world.

[dana_b]

4. morbid, yes, but it is something

that sticks with you. I am a nurse so I have seen four people die - not as many as you may expect. It does not get easier and each person sticks with me - especially the one child.

What is also different is that you saw something unexpected. You know that people in a hospital may die so it's not as shocking as what you experienced.

[nolabear]

6. I grew up among the open coffin crowd. This is pretty awful to tell (and believe me, I'm fine)

but the first dead body I saw as a kid was my mother's. I was thirteen and it was very, very strange.

I've never seen anyone who has died "on the scene," so to speak, nor have I seen a death. I agree with the sentiment that we have separated ourselves too far from the reality of death and we'd be better, more healthy people if we acknowledged it better.

[Demoiselle]

38. My dad insisted on an open coffin and viewing when my mother died.

I was pretty unhappy about the idea. I had seen her in her hospital bed soon after she passed on....that was a terrible and strange event as I described in my earlier post.
But she was quiet and simple and peaceful....and gone. The body in the open coffin was like a cosmeticized wax image of my mother. My father actually pushed the back of my head down to try to make me kiss her.
Oh my goodness, I haven't thought about this for years and years. It was pretty painful.
My father died many many years later, and I saw him and sat with his body for a while in the retirement home where he had died.
And then we closed the casket. And thought about him when he was alive. (And tried to forget and forgive, too.)

[nolabear]

47. That's a sad and lovely response. I understand that gone-ness.

Not too many months ago I lost a great aunt who was quite the character. I got a good and cathartic laugh when, at the visitation, several people passed by her coffin and remarked "Don't she look funny with her mouth closed?"

[Mz Pip]

7. My best friend

was murdered and I found the body. That was the worst experience ever in my life. It's been decades and I still think about it from time to time.

I went to a lot of wakes when I was a kid. Both of my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Wakes are pretty bizarre.

One time when I was about 19 I worked in a store in a corner department. An old lady got off the elevator and collapsed and died. I held her hand while someone called security. She was dead but I sort of felt like I had to do something.

[Libertas1776]

18. I will

never be able to comprehend how awful that must have been for you losing a friend in such a manner, and I hope I never do. That being said, I truly appreciate you opening up and sharing such a personal story. The same goes for nolabear. Thank you. :hug:

[Saphire]

8. A neighbor commited suicide in his back yard. We heard the shot and

went out to the back, and saw him on his back patio. pretty messy.

I was with both of my parents when they died, too. I've also been to funerals for numerous friends and relatives.

[Shell Beau]

9. How awful. Any time I see an accident that looks bad, it sticks with

me for too long. The only dead bodies I have seen are the ones that were in the casket. I saw a good friend of mine just 2 weeks ago lying dead in a casket. 31 years old. Car accident. Same with my own brother. The casket was only open for the family, but boy was it rough. I actually closed my eyes because I couldn't bare the sight of my 24 year old older brother lying there lifeless. Car accident. I could never be a doctor, cop, nurse, or anyone who has to deal with this on a regular basis. I can't let it go, you know. I would take it home with me every day. Sorry you had to see that.

[Habibi]

15. God, how awful.

My best wishes to you.

[Shell Beau]

19. Thanks!! Life is tough sometimes for sure.

[nadinbrzezinski]

54. Hugs and the best to you in this time

of grief

[Kind of Blue]

12. It's the shocking unexpected aspect that is haunting.

As a teen before I got my license, I was walking home from school on a beauty of a day, you know, not really thinking about anything but dinner and what was on TV that night. The road up ahead was blocked to cars but not pedestrians and I had to pass by to get home. I couldn't help but look at the form of a body underneath a blanket or covering of some sort.

And sticking out of the covering was a delicate smooth arm, obviously that of a young person, slender fingers and well-manicured nails in deep red nail polish. Her hand was cupped in the air as if waiting to catch something.

I remember everything about the scene. It used to bother me a lot even though I've seen a lot of dead bodies while working as a lab tech in hospitals. I read in the paper the next day that she was 23, a college graduate, just married, and was walking home from work when she was struck by a car. I was so grateful that her picture was not included. Finally, I've concluded that those jarring scenes of death are a reminder to live every day fully because we don't know exactly how or when death will come. I'm kind of grateful for it, in a way.

[boobooday]

14. Seen a few

Most because I used to work in a nursing home. After that, one was a young man who OD'd in the apartment below us and his girlfriend came to ask us for help. She said he was drunk, and wanted us to walk him around. He was obviously dead. Another one was lying in the street in my old neighborhood in North Hollywood.

I only live in the best places. :eyes:

[heliarc]

56. Yeah...

I work in Hollywood, and I wonder sometimes when I'll get to work in the morning and see one of the homeless guys dead on the street. There are a lot of heroin addicts and desperate people in the neighborhood.

[fizzgig]

16. more than a few, not counting funerals

but i was a cops reporter for five years and dead bodies were a part of the job. i don't think i saw any of the murder victims (i covered three or four murders and three or four murder-suicides), but i'd see accident victims every five or six months.

it bothered me at first, but not any more. i'm not sure how to feel about that.

[Shell Beau]

30. I think that is a coping mechanism.

If you are going to have to see it, your mind finds a way to let you and it not bother you. Doctors, cops, nurses, coroners, etc. have to find a way to go home every day and not be consumed with it.

[Cleita]

17. I remember the first time I saw something like that, a body lying on

the road with his face and torso covered but with his arms and legs exposed, while police and others hovered around him. I remember being really shook up for quite awhile afterwards as if I had been kicked in the stomach by that scene. It hit me that the unfortunate person had been alive going somewhere not so long before that just like I was and that his life had been snuffed out in an unexpected instant.

[Libertas1776]

20. "as if I had been kicked in the stomach"

That's precisely how I would describe it.

[gleaner]

21. Yes, I have......

When i was four or five years old, my Grandpa had a stroke. He died where he fell. The neighbors and my Grandma had carried him into the house where he lay on the living room floor under a sheet. My parents had gone out for the day and I was staying with my older sister. My Grandma called, hysterical looking for my father, so my sister put me in the car and we went to her.

My sister called my father and mother who were visiting relatives about 70 miles away and they started home. In the meantime my Grandma handed me a little wooden box where Grandpa kept two 20 dollar gold pieces that he had saved all of his adult life to weight his eyes and close them when he died. She said to me very matter of fact ly, "Go close his eyes and put the coins on them. That's a good girl." So I went and pulled the sheet away from his face. I don't remember being scared or horrified, just noticing that he was very pale and when I closed his eyes and put the coins on them, he was very cold to the touch. After I had done that I pulled the sheet back over his face and went to hold my Grandma's hand. We sat together in silence with my sister on the other side until my parents got there and took over. My mother took me away at that point and I don't remember much after that.

What was strange is that when I went to his funeral which was an open casket service and walked by the coffin he looked like a stranger and I became terrified. I sat shaking through the rest of the service and afterwords I had nightmares for the longest time of Grandpa coming to take me away. I had other relatives through my life with open casket funerals and they never affected me like that. In general I am not in favor of taking children to funerals or viewings of bodies. They don't understand and a lot of them are frightened of someone that they have known or loved. But in the religion that I was raised in, it was mandatory to avoid cremation and children were always taken to the casket to say goodbye.

For myself having left that religion when I was 15, and wanting the least amount of fuss and bother, I plan to be cremated and my husband can do what he wants with the ashes. It won't be me anymore. My body will only be a discarded suit of clothes that I wore until it was discarded.

I'm sorry for what you saw. It is shocking and it is hard to get it out of your mind. It will fade away over time, but I know that is no comfort to you now.

[annabanana]

25. That's a remarkable story, gleaner. Thank you for sharing something

so deeply personal.

[gleaner]

31. You're welcome ....

Death is another part of life. We don't understand it, and we don't know what happens afterwords, but it is with us as we live our lives and waiting for us at the end. Somehow I find that comforting. I don't know what I believe regarding an afterlife, but I don't believe in Hell. Maybe just a nice long rest is what it brings us and nothing more. That would not be so horrible.

[Horse with no Name]

22. Yeah. Quite a few.

Occupational hazard.
However, it isn't when they are dead that it bothers me, it is when they are dying and you are doing everything in your power to stop it and nothing is working.
That's when it gets tough.

The guy may have been naked because he may have had bleeding from a major artery in his lower extremities that they were trying to stop and may have had to remove his clothing. Hard to know why.

Edited to add: I don't attend funerals. I have no rational explanation for it.

[vadawg]

67. you know something i dont attend them either, for me its superstitious

though i have disinterred remains and attended post mortems as well... i think if it was my kids though i might behave differently...

[Solly Mack]

23. More than a few

Due to accidents, illness and murder.

The smell of a dead body (human)...nothing else like it. Absolutely no mistaking it for anything else.

[AllentownJake]

24. When my Dad died of cancer

His body sat in the living room for 3 hours and his bowels released after he died. He was under hospice so we had to wait first for the nurse to pronounce him dead and than for the undertaker to come to collect the body.

I wanted his body out the minute after he stopped breathing. My father wasn't in the room anymore.

[Odin2005]

27. Uh, I'm sure we've all been to funerals, so we've all seen dead bodies.

:shrug:

[dysfunctional press]

58. once it's been embalmed and made-up, yes...

but i don't think that's the kind of thing that the op was going for- i think they more-or-less meant a freshly dead body.

like the time one morning when the body of a vagrant who had been wedged under a car for two blocks came loose in front of our house. the friction from the pavement had sanded down one side of his head to the point that brains were pouring out.

it totally put me off my breakfast.

[JHB]

28. Drove past a motorcycle wipe-out, soon enough afterward that the cops weren't there yet...

This was back in college, while I was working part-time delivering pizzas. I didn't see the accident itself, but I obviously came around a curve just after it happened. Two other cars were pulling over to offer assistance, so not being a trained medic nor doctor, I figured the most useful thing I could do was continue back to the store (about two minutes away) and call it in to the police & ambulance (pre-cell phone days).

Found out later the guy died, which wasn't a surprise. Seeing his arm in the divider a good ten yards from the rest of him had already told me he was in really bad shape. It was, however, the first time I considered what a lousy job it must be to have to be the person to "clean up" afterward.

[Cirque du So-What]

29. I was an EMT in a previous life

but aside from tending to sprains at football games as a volunteer, the only time I worked in the field was while my local union was on strike. That gig lasted about two months. It was a non-emergency ambulance service, and the day was filled with transporting patients to nursing homes, hospitals, etc.

The owner also had a contract with the coroner's office to transport bodies, which usually wasn't too bad, but a couple of cases convinced me that I wasn't cut out for that kind of work. After the strike was over, I returned to my old job, allowed my certification to expire & never looked back.

[nadinbrzezinski]

32. First off, even us Paramedics never get used to it

for that matter doctors, or nurses or cops or firefighters.

To people who do not deal with us, especially if they hear us talking about it, we might seem very cold and hardened... since the jokes tend to be quite macabre. That is the way we deal with it.

The first dead body I saw (at an accident scene that is) was a 60 something man. He was hit by a car, and with such force that his two leggs were amputated. I had been out of the Academy all of two weeks. I haven't forgotten it. I didn't eat meat for about six months.

Then it was an 80 something we did CPR, he came out... only to lose rythm in the ER.

The two year old I had to triage as dead at a train wreck

the five year old, that looked like my niece, that was run over by his dad in a terrible accident.

What I like to call the Christmas from hell, where I got to declare 13 suicide victims in the course of a night. There were 27 of them. It was the beginning of the Cartel Wars in Tijuana...

The 5 month old from conception premie that I "baptized" in the field... he was quite dead...

I could go on. But I remember each one of these people... I see them, every so often in nightmares.

So no, we never quite get used to it... but now you know why the jokes are so macabre, and we speak of ink blots, and stains on the road... and road kill.

Over the course of ten years I saw enough death... but I also saw enough births and miracles to make up for it.

Now you may want to vent, or talk about it. In fact you are, and this is a GOOD THING. My kids used to look at me weird when I told them after MCIs we are going to talk... and talk about feelings.

As to weird... feelings. Death is a strange thing, almost an alien thing. Facing our own mortality is not something most of us want to do on a regular basis. So that is the other reason those of us who have faced dead people get really strange. But used to it? You never get used to it.

[RagAss]

36. Bless you for what you did...my dad was a WWII medic...he was still having nightmares in the 1970's.

[nadinbrzezinski]

40. I don't doubt it, military medics are the worst when it comes to the nightmares

(and technically we were, so that included shootings)

I may grouse at times, but that is the best job (for free) I ever did.

[catnhatnh]

33. Yep...

mostly on an ambulance...also in about '88 or so the La Ambiance building collapse in Bridgeport Ct...29 construction workers in a twin building collapse-kind'a hard to believe the human body is a "temple of the Lord" once you've seen one compressed between concrete slabs...

[Texasgal]

34. As an RN and a former traige nurse

I've seen plenty, but kids and young people shook me up the most. It never got easier for me, ever.

[Iggo]

35. Ex-hospital worker: Housekeeping.

It ain't all makin' beds.

I had the same exact reaction that you did: I'm supposed to see this shit and just keep moving?!?!

It's a damned healthy reaction.

[TwilightGardener]

37. Just in the hospitals I worked in.

In one hospital where I was a nurse, it was the nurse's job to wheel dead patients to the morgue (in other hospitals, security came and got them after the body was prepared). After removing all tubes and devices and clothing, you'd tag the toe and roll your patients into a plastic body bag, put a sheet over them, place them on a cart, and take the service elevators down to the morgue. Without exception everyone who helped handle and transport the bodies was very hushed and respectful, and treated the bodies as gently as possible. What always amazed me was how fast the body goes cold and pale after the patient has been taken off the vent or the code is stopped. That coldness of skin feels horribly unnatural, and final.

[HughMoran]

39. Sadly, I've seen too many already :(

My first was when the old man upstairs fell (was pushed?) out of the 3rd floor window while I was looking out my second floor window. I saw his contorted face as he fell head-first to his death on the pavement below.

The worst ever was seeing one of my brothers hit by a car directly in front of me. He died from his injuries. :cry:

I watched my aunt take her last breath a few years ago - it's incredible how fast a sick person (colon cancer) declines once they get a runaway infection.

I don't have any words of wisdom on this topic other than be glad it wasn't somebody you know in that scene you saw.

[nadinbrzezinski]

41. Hugs

and I am serious, if you need to talk... PM me.

[HughMoran]

44. :o)

Thanks for the hug :) I am touched by your concern for a fellow DUer :hug:

[nadinbrzezinski]

49. Oh you welcome

We are a community

:-)

Dysfunctional at times, but a community nonetheless.

[malaise]

78. Watching a sibling get hit would kill me

I feel your pain HughMoran.

As an undergraduate we had a terrific English lecturer and she collapsed in the middle of a lecture. Her face went very red and we knew she was either dead or dying. They rushed her to the hospital a few yards away. They declared her DOA. That was a very strange morning that I'll never forget.

I watched my paternal grandmother after she died and that did it for me. I made a conscious decision not to look at the dead so I never looked at either dad or mom, but strangely when my youngest sister died in 2005, we were there with her, watched her die and I kissed her goodbye at the hospital and at the funeral home.

[HughMoran]

79. It changed my life forever

I was 11 years old & 30+ years later I still can hardly talk about it without getting choked up.

[malaise]

80. It must - that is a pain you'll carry for life

:grouphug:

[ZombieHorde]

42. IBTL

Sex threads always get locked.

[Libertas1776]

43. ???

[Iggo]

46. Yow! Dayum!

:rofl:

[Rabrrrrrr]

45. Yes, many - including being with a few as they died.

And of course the great many that I've seen embalmed at funerals/visitations.


For whatever reason, never really bothered me - all part of the natural cycle, I suppose, perhaps.

Though I've never seen first hand the awful deaths that can come from accidents or murders - those might bother me.

[leanderj]

48. Death is the origin of religion

Having witnessed several deaths, and marvelled at the sudden pangs of loss, and sensed that palpable feeling of release at the point of transition, and looked at something so foreign and soon to be repugnant that used to be a living, breathing, loving person, I've come to the conclusion that humans had to invent the concept of the soul to explain and compensate for the loss, and the concept of religion as a door to the afterlife.

[nadinbrzezinski]

50. Seeing the process of grief close up with two parrots

I doubt the emotion is just human...

Religion is... but the emotions, are not.

[comrade snarky]

52. Probably more than average

First was my grandmother's open casket funeral, a family tradition that still makes me angry. The woman who half raised me was gone and the undertaker had done her hair and makeup wrong. It barely looked like her. That shouldn't be my last memory of someone so central to my and so many other lives.

I've sat with multiple families while an uncle, father or mother died in home or hospice.

I've done some dissection in anatomy classes. That was odd, I had no idea what to expect going in. For some reason the fact the people were old surprised me. Probably because in movies and TV they're always young, I knew it was silly at the time but the feeling was still there.

For a short time I worked as a "pickup and delivery" driver for funeral homes. I left that as soon as possible, not because of the passengers but because of the people I found in the funeral industry. Vultures are more honest. Probably happier too.

I've also seen a couple of accidents, both before and after emergency services. In a way they are the most unsettling. It's the surprise and a strange feeling of emptiness. There was a person there, someone I've never met and now never will. I find it impossible not to speculate about them. Who they were, who they loved, what made them proud or sad. For me it's knowing that I'll never find out and knowing how easily the tables could be turned. Someone I've never met and never will driving by.

It brings home how fragile life really is.

[A HERETIC I AM]

53. Back in the 80's, a mid-air collision happened almost right over my head..

between a helicopter and a Cessna. I was sitting at a traffic light when all of the sudden a landing gear fell from the sky and hit the side of the road. I then saw people from the local businesses running from my left toward the vacant lot to my right. Next I look up and see the Cessna, missing its nose gear descending toward the nearby airport (Opa-Locka, in North Miami). I then notice a lady in a car to my right looking out to the ground with a sick look on her face. She was looking at a human hand lying in the street, severed just above the wrist. I pulled over, got out and because I have a pretty strong constitution, picked up the hand and placed it on the landing gear nearby in order to get it out of the road. I then jogged into the field and saw the helicopter. It was laying on its left side and the pilot was on the ground, dead.

Here's the NTSB summary of the event;

http://www.ntsb.gov/ntsb/brief.asp?ev_id=20001213X31868&key=1

[heliarc]

55. Wow...

I was driving through Virginia through DC and also saw a jeep on the opposite side of the freeway flip over and roll. I wonder if we were on the same freeway... it must have been 1995 or 1996.

[Libertas1776]

70. It happened in the mid 2000s for me

but apparently it must happen often over there.

[kas125]

57. My best friend... Halloween morning, 2004. I'd been at her

house, which is right across the street, the night before. We watched movies, made dinner, she had what two days earlier the doctor said was the flu, so I did the dishes and went home at ten thirty. At midnight, she started emailing me with goofy stuff, jokes and thoughts and random things. I replied to all but the last one, including one that said her stomach was hurting. I told her to take one of those stomach pills the doctor gave her and get some rest. Her last email only said "all men are assholes" and I laughed and went to bed without replying. In the morning, her eighteen year old daughter pounded on my door and said, "I already called 911, but they aren't here yet. I think my mom's dead, can you come and check?" I did and she was. On the couch...

[yurbud]

59. I saw a dead 12 year old boy and my grandmother who was 70ish

The kid was brain dead but still on a ventilator, so they let us come in to say good-bye before they whisked him off for organ donation.

My grandmother died at home after a long struggle with cancer, ending with brain cancer. I felt bad when I heard she had died, and my grandfather waited to call the mortuary until we had all come to pay our last respects. I wanted to touch her hand and look at her for a minute to make sure she was gone, but as soon as I walked in the room I knew. The weird thing is almost instantly, the body didn't seem like her anymore, it was just a thing.

I happen to live near enough to ride my bike to the kid's grave once or twice, thinking I would feel something, grief or nostalgia or something, but it was just a metal plaque with his name on it, not him.

Since then, I could never understand how people get sentimental about going to cemeteries and visiting people's graves--it doesn't seem in any way connected to the person who was once alive.

[HamdenRice]

61. I saw a bunch of shot up dead and dying men after a fire fight in Africa in 1989

I was at the big hospital in Soweto because I had taken an old man, who had a bad case of shingles, from a rural area to the hospital. It was very early in the morning on a Monday.

As the emergency room filled up, the staff asked non-patients to wait outside in the parking lot.

Suddenly there was the sound of automatic weapons fire and everyone who was waiting outside ran into the emergency room.

Turns out there was a fire fight between rival political gangs right in front of the hospital. We had to stay crouched in the ER because bullets were flying around outside.

They began bringing in the dead and dying drenched in blood, and I saw a few guys go into convulsive death shudders right in front of me.

The thing I remember most clearly is that you could smell the blood in the room.

[nadinbrzezinski]

69. You will never forget that coppery smell

trust me on that.

[HamdenRice]

76. I guess you've smelled it also

I was going to say metallic, or like iron.

[nadinbrzezinski]

77. I was a medic for ten years

look on the bright side... it was not from a drunk.

[MindPilot]

62. I was in hospital, recovery ward, coming around after a back surgery

As I was laying there they wheeled in a gurney beside me, the patient appeared to be in his early teens seemingly covered in tubes and wires--almost completely surrounded by machines. The TV was on and I realized that the 14-year-old Black kid beside me was the drive-by-shooting victim they were talking about on the TV news. He took a bullet in the neck and despite the doctors' best efforts was still critical. I could see his young face contorted with pain and fear, he was barely conscious but his eyes pleaded for someone...something to make it stop.

He made a few gurgling noises, and then his face froze, eyes open, still pleading. The machines began squalling their alarms summoning the doctors and nurses who quickly gathered round, erected a curtain wall and spoke in hushed voices.

A few minutes later, he was wheeled out with the white sheet covering all but his feet.

[Kind of Blue]

73. Yeah, that kind of death is the worst to me - when struggling

to hang on.

I remember while at a trauma in a hospital I worked at, a young man came in. Turns out he was celebrating his birthday at a park when a bee stung him. He'd grown up never knowing that he was allergic to bee stings. I remember him pleading to us as he made eye contact, "Don't let me die on my birthday," over and over again. Hated days like that.

But then again, one of the most beautiful was another young man, dying of AIDs in the ICU, whose family was at his side knowing death was coming. When he started struggling and crying, everyone was in tears not knowing what to do. His ancient grandmother got up and held him saying, "You're gonna be all right, Baby, because you can go home now." And she started naming names of those who had gone before him saying they were waiting for him. He calmed down in her arms and then it was over.

[demwing]

63. Several times

First, I was maybe 8 years old, and was outside playing, when I heard a loud noise from the sky. I looked up, and saw what looked to be a rocket come crashing down near my house. I ran to get my dad, who did not believe me. He had the TV on and didn't hear the explosion, but I was freaking out and would not be calmed down, so he came outside to see for himself.

I turned out that a small aircraft had lost control, and tried to land in a neighborhood golf course. On it's way down, it must have hit some telephone poles, shearing off both wings (this is what I saw - a burning tube shooting toward the ground).

We ran out to investigate the wreckage, and got there before the fire department. The plane had missed the golf course, and crash landed on the street, skidding straight up some poor souls drive way into his garage. We learned later he was in the garage at the time, and that there were four passengers in the plane.

There was wreckage everywhere, including body parts. I saw a severed hand and head in the mess, and had nightmares about the incident for years. In the dream, the head was alive, burning, and screaming at me in rage.

I remember small details, such as a ring on the finger of the hand, and the sick/sweet smell of burning wood, rubber, and flesh. Nearly 40 years later, I still remember the ring on the hand, as clear as a bell. It is possibly the single most frightening thing I have ever witnessed

Then, years later I saw a car accident where the car hit a street light. The driver was impaled by the steering column, and lived at least long enough for the ambulance to arrive. I don't know what happened to her, but I don't imagine it was good.

When I was 15, I watched as my mother passed away from cancer. She was 42.

Years later, I was walking down Polk street, blocks from my home in San Francisco, and saw a crowd and an ambulance. It turned out that a neighborhood man we all knew had had a stroke walking home from the grocery store. He dropped dead instantly. I saw them put his body on th stretcher and cover his head.

Finally, in January of this year, my 9 year old son passed away at home, in his bed, after a seven month battle with cancer of the central nervous system. Follow the link in my sig line to a blog where I write about the ordeal, and have pictures, including post-mortem photos of my son.

Death is no friend to me, but certainly no stranger either.

[TwilightGardener]

71. Very sorry about your son--I can't imagine how difficult that must be.

[Kind of Blue]

74. I'm saddened by your loss.

My condolence to you, Demwing.

[a la izquierda]

66. I was driving down the 110 FWY in Los Angeles...

and, like your experience, traffic just halted. Apparently, someone tried to dash across the freeway and got hit. As I passed the scene, the ambulance had gotten there, but the body hadn't been loaded into the vehicle...I got an eyeful of an extremely bloody and violent scene, plus the victim.

I had nightmares for a while after that.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

68. Been Through The Exact Same Thing And It Disturbed Me For Days.

Black woman hit while crossing the highway (Rt 80 in Jersey). Top half under a tarp, bottom half exposed just like you said. Because of the stand still traffic and me being in the left lane (side she was hit) I had too much of a view for too long as she was right next to me. Legs twisted, pale, lifeless, just, ughhh... Still disturbs me a bit now.

[xchrom]

72. i sat with my partner while he died, my dad, my aunt,

friends -- the epidemic ya know -- more than i ever thought i would.

don't know if anyone will ever sit with me.

[Lisa0825]

75. I slowly drove past a van that was on fire on the highway and could see a human shape through flames

The fire department had not gotten there yet. The van was fully engulfed. It was on the shoulder. I don't know if they smelled smoke and pulled over, and were not able to get out in time, or what. It was so surreal, and I can still see it exactly how it looked that day. It was on the southbound side of I-45, left side shoulder, on the overpass at the 610-loop. Fr years I still looked for the scorched concrete when I drove by.

I was also at my mother's side when she took her last breath. My brother was on his way to the hospital with her grandkids, who wanted to say goodbye. It took him 2 hours to get there. The staff kept coming in to try to take her away, but I wouldn't budge. No one was taking her away until the kids got to say goodbye. I still dream about that now and then.