What I learned from the Virginia Tech tragedy

[Marnieworld]

It's not that we should add, change or modify gun control laws. I don't pretend to be an expert about that.

It's not that video games are changing our children into killers. Killing happened long before these games and happens in such a rare frequency compared to the number of people who play them. I don't think there's a provable causality.

It's not that George Bush can't even handle the most basic of his responsibilities as "leader" of this country-sincerely expressing condolences to families and putting it in perspective for us all. We've known that since "My Pet Goat" and remembered it while he strummed guitar while New Orleans drowned.

What I learned was that it is important to make sure that everyone you love, to whatever degree, knows that you love them and value them. I woke up to the news about Virginia Tech and remembered that a former, very close friend from college now teaches there. I haven't talked to him in years although we were so close at one point, life moves you in different directions and places. Yet, when I heard about this I went into a panic. I went to every story, every website and ghoulishly refreshed pages hoping for a list of names. Finally I found his email address online and contacted him. I didn't even know if he would respond but I was so grateful when I heard from him in a a matter of minutes. It's strange how even after time passes you can discover that you have been holding someone in your heart all along. It just takes something like this to wake you up.

I don't know if we'll ever talk again but I am glad that he knows now. He was fortunate today but others were not. No one is promised a tomorrow anywhere. It is all so fragile and precious and so are we.

I don't know why these rampages happen, why they seem more frequent now, and what we can do to stop them. All I know is to say I love you as much as possible. That's all we have.

[LostinVA]

1. NIce post n/t

[AuntPatsy]

2. What a thoughtful post, I agree...with all the infighting going on in du this

one stands out to me concering this newest headline tradegy.

[NightWatcher]

3. Live and love everyday like there's no tomorrow

You never know when your time might come.

Good post.

[bigwillq]

4. I thank you for this post.

:thumbsup:

Words to live by indeed.

:hi: :hug:

[Blue_Tires]

5. k+r

[The Backlash Cometh]

6. This is what it tells me:

That, unfortunately, maybe too many people were lulled into believing that Bush had taken the war on terror overseas, and we really had no reason to have functional plans in case we are attacked on our own turf.

30+ dead American students definitely qualifies as a terrorist attack, though, probably not one tied to the Middle East problem.

[az chela]

7. It is so true that we have to live each moment as if it were our last.

Your post sure reminded me of that,thank you!!!!!!

[AZBlue]

8. Beautiful post.

Thank you!

[annabanana]

9. It IS fragile and precious..

I'm not sure we can live, day to day with this knowledge. Our distractions are anesthetics that allow us to function. But it is important to occasionally remember that we inhabit a shimmering, gossamer web of life for a brief time, and that love is the only thing that is real.

[malaise]

10. Lovely post n/t

[peacetalksforall]

11. Thanks for sharing. nt

[lancdem]

12. Beautiful post

Thank you for reminding us what really matters.

[latebloomer]

13. Thank you for that reminder

It hit home to me after 9-11-- all those people kissing their spouses and kids goodbye and thinking they were about to have a normal day.

Live in the moment, savor every second, and let the people you love know it. Every day.

Beautiful post, thanks again.

[piedmont]

14. I disagree

1) The gun laws are fine as they are. We should be addressing the factors that make people want to kill-- otherwise we'll be talking about mass killings that utilized bombs, cars, train derailments, poison gas etc.
2) I doubt it's the video games. I haven't seen any studies to support this assertion that weren't flawed in some way or another.
3) Bush???? You're blaming Bush for this? I blame him for a lot of horrible stuff, but this isn't one I can peg on him an any conceivable way.
4) Yes, we should tell the people closest to us how much we care about them. I think interpersonal communication in this country has broken down somewhat.

[RedCappedBandit]

32. Think you need to read the OP again.

[ananda]

35. Yes, I blame Bush and every effin con who..

.. has cut back on social, health, and human services.

[pitohui]

37. i blame bush and st. reagan too, they are all responsible

the whole reagan/bush concept that we just fill the mentally ill full of pills and throw 'em on the street and let god sort 'em out sort of pisses me off

altho since this was a apparently a foreign national i don't know how much we can really blame reagan/bush for THIS particular incident

[camero]

42. I can blame him

For putting the dog-eat-dog society on steroids along with mainstream media. Which I can almost be absolutely sure to be one of the factors in this shooting.

[GenDem]

15. One of the most sensible thoughts regarding this tragedy

Glad that your friend is safe. :hug:

[babylonsister]

16. Thank you, Marnieworld. nt

[WiseButAngrySara]

17. This brought tears to my eyes for the first time today. I hope

you stay in touch.

[Irreverend IX]

18. Thanks, Marnieworld.

These incidents stir up anger, anxiety and fear among lots of people. It's nice to see that some people's respond to incidents like this by reaffirming their bonds with others.

[Bluerthanblue]

19. beautiful- a lesson to master- thank you for this.

this song Julie Miller did years back spoke this to me-


"I'm gonna live my life
like every days' the last
without a simple goodbye it all goes by so fast

and now that you're gone I can't cry heard enough
I can't cry hard enough
for you to hear me now

gonna open my eyes and see for the first time
I've let go of you like
a child letting go of his kite

There it goes up in the sky
there it goes beyond the clouds
for no reason why
I can't cry hard enough
No, I can't cry hard enough for you to hear me now

gonna look back in vain and see you standing there
when all that remains is just an empty chair
and now that you're gone
I can't cry hard enough, I can't cry hard enough
for you to hear me now

There it goes, up in the sky
there it goes beyond the clouds
for no reason why
I can't cry hard enough, no I can't cry hard enough
for you to hear me now"



too sad tonight

[FloridaJudy]

20. Great post.

I think it first hit me on 9-11. A very good friend - a Unitarian minister - had just starting working at the WTC for an NGO helping recently released prisoners. While I stood in shock watching the towers fall, my first thought was "Please, let Lou be OK". Then it hit me that a lot of people weren't going to be OK, and that they all had friends and family praying for them.

When I read the news about the Virginia shootings, my first response was one of shock and sorrow. It didn't take me long to recognize that people in some countries have to go through this every day. It didn't diminish my grief. If anything, it gave me even more compassion for those for whom these tragedies are a daily occurrence.

I made myself go back and read John Donne:

No man is an island, entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less,
as well as if a promontory were,
as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were;
any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
it tolls for thee.

[Duppers]

21. stated eloquently

My early sentiments in another thread, but I could not expound so well, so beautifully.

Thanks and thankfully your friend is alright. I'm emailing my friend who also teaches there now.

:hug:

[Disturbed]

23. Thanks for posting that.

Yes, we need to be reminded how fragile life is and not to take it or others for granted.

[Duppers]

31. our friend not hurt, but shookup

"Two faculty were shot – according to a second-hand email from XX XXXXXX that I saw. They are not releasing the names of the faculty, but in the College of Engineering, we all know each other, at least by name and sight, so they are part of us.

All of us, and as many friends as we have been able to contact through the day, are fine. It was like a movie looking at CNN and seeing the doors to the Norris Hall engineering building that many of us have walked through, hundreds of times, going to class.

We are sure that as the names of dead are released, we will likely know some of them, or friends of some of them. One of my Fall 2006 students was at the hospital today with one of his friends who was injured – this does not seem real. -- My group currently works with a number of students who work in the Norris Hall building where some of the shootings took place, and we have not heard back from three of them so far tonight. Others have checked in."

--From our friend's email


Sad, very sad.

[Marnieworld]

45. I'm very glad that your friend is ok

We're the lucky ones who got an email back. :hug:

[Uncle Joe]

22. A good message Marnieworld

Thanks for the thread.

Kicked and recommended

[seabeyond]

24. what a beautiful gift in reaching out for both of you, in such a sad

time.

thank you for sharing your story

[CrazyOrangeCat]

25. Ma'am, you just got right to the heart of the matter.

K&R

thank you.

[benEzra]

26. Best post I've read all day.

Thank you, I needed that.

:grouphug:

[Irishonly]

27. Beautiful Post

It's the first thing I've read all day that gave me some hope.

[undergroundpanther]

28. Exactly

Life is fragile and it can be precious and a sort of hell in the chaos this existence is..
Hug your loved ones for we may not get a tomorrow.
Life on earth is shadowed by death.

Love them while you can.

Because you might not get a tomorrow.

This way of looking at life through the eyes of death, puts the Iraq war into a very different perspective, here you see the true gut wrenching obscenity of war, poverty and the indifference to other suffering as the sick thing it is.The Imus slur seems insane.You also see the naked tragedy at Va tech..for the senseless depravity of tragedy it is.And this shit happens..0ver and over. Today a tree fell in my sister's yard barely missing her house and car by inches. I wonder during this storm how many people were not as lucky as my sister was and have trees in their living rooms today? How many people got killed by the storm as it rolled across the country?

Everyday in this pretty hellhole we call existence, someone has a tomorrow stolen.a life ruined.Trauma fucks them up for life.

The world does not care, how bad it hurts but you can care and help the pain lessen.
And to do that without closing down from the emotions suffering evokes in us all means realizing death can take away tomorrow for me, you everyone..and it will go regardless.

So live like you mean it ,Care like you mean it because reality could care less what you think and feel about it's theft of tomorrows..It will ruin lives.But only a person who cares can help rebuild another's broken life.and..take it back.

[Straight Shooter]

29. "even after time passes you can discover that you have been holding someone in your heart all along"

You have a way with words. :hug:

[colorado_ufo]

30. You have wonderfully expressed the unexpressible.

Thank you for this beautiful post.

[aaronbees]

33. Heartfelt post

And so right on. What a heartbreaking day. :-(

[UrbScotty]

34. Thank you, Marnieworld.

:hug:

[northofdenali]

36. Your post is quoted on John Edwards' campaign site.

I understand why. Thank you.

[Richard Steele]

38. What a great post! Recommended.

[Jeroen]

39. So true. K&R

[rambler_american]

40. K&R

[greyghost]

41. Beautifully said. K&R

[kdpeters]

43. Two phrases you do NOT want to wind up finding yourself having left unsaid...

1. I love you
2. I'm sorry

I don't know how to tell you to love them and cherish them and hold no grudges. It really sucks when the last thing you did to your idol and your hero right before that last time he left to never come back, was to pick a fight with him and stubbornly refuse to apologize.


Please, please please people. If it's THAT important, it's important enough to confront constructively. If you can't manage to come up with an important reason to settle down and address like an adult....

DROP IT!! DROP IT!! DROP IT!! Your ego is petty. Your loved ones are priceless. I can't make you understand. But it nags at you for years and even when you think you've made peace with it, sometimes you still think about it and regret. Don't ever risk what might happen if you hold a grudge. Just drop it.

[kdpeters]

44. Tell them how much they mean to you, just because it's Thursday

don't let this lesson be a fleeting one. Take any excuse to tell them what they add in your life.

[Old Smokey]

46. beautiful

[Prophet 451]

47. Can I hug you, man?

Thank you. I think perhaps I needed that. I think perhaps I need to send a few emails and make a few phonecalls.

Peace with you.

[Marnieworld]

48. Sure no problemo!

:hug:

The world needs a :grouphug:

[Ron Green]

49. Not only a beautiful message, but consider this:

If enough people follow your advice, these tragedies won't keep happening.

[understandinglife]

50. Peace.

Thank you,
Bob