Buy Jesus' personal tips: Location of heaven! Cure for cancer! World peace! All in one eBay auction!

[Bluebear]

The winner of this auction will receive my handwritten journal where I have described in detail the four messages of Jesus Christ who has appeared to me.

Jesus revealed four specific things to me:
#1: The precise location of Heaven

#2. The cure for cancer

#3. The solution for the achievement of world peace.

#4. He revealed the future to me.

I will briefly discuss each of the four revelations now. HOWEVER, I HAVE DISCUSSED THESE IN DETAIL IN THE JOURNAL.

#1. THE PRECISE LOCATION OF HEAVEN: When we die we will become stars... Literally stars! Jesus Christ is our Earth's sun. That is why we are His... Because we come on one of His planets. When we die and become stars we, too, will be blessed by wonderful special planets which orbit us and bring us great happiness. God the Creator is also a star... The first and the greatest. Two thousand years ago Jesus said "I am the Light of the World." Jesus now wants us to understand that this means He is the Sun and that when we die, we will become stars too.

#2. THE CURE FOR CANCER: The cure for cancer is actually the knowledge of the precise CAUSE OF CANCER. We already know the cures for cancer, mainly prevention and early detection. Also chemotherapy, radiation, surgery and alternative medicine. We also are acutely aware of the roles of carcinogens, environment, heredity and diet. But what is the PRECISE AND SOLE CAUSE OF CANCER? CANCER OCCURS WHEN WE EAT OUR OWN FLESH. (Two very simple examples of eating our own flesh are biting our cuticles or biting our lips.) When a piece of our own flesh is digested, microscopic fragments of our own DNA enter the bloodstream. If a piece of this DNA enters a vulnerable cell, the nucleus of the cell identifies the 'food' as 'self' and this causes a 'circuit' to be blown in the nucleus. When (and if) that cell goes to divide, it does so in a haphazard fashion, dividing into four instead of into two and the mutation continues. There is an interesting correlation to Christianity here. Jesus told us to "take His flesh and eat it." Now he wants us to know not to eat our own flesh in any way because it is deadly.

#3. THE SOLUTION FOR THE ACHIEVEMENT OF WORLD PEACE: This is so simple! According to Jesus, the way to achieve world peace is this: An AMERICAN president has to set a goal for WORLD PEACE BEFORE 2021. (President Kennedy did something similar when he set a goal for the USA to land a man on the moon in the 60's.)

#4. JESUS REVEALED TO FUTURE TO ME: The future will go one of two ways: If world peace is not achieved before 2021 the world will destroy itself. If world peace is achieved before 2021, there will be no more natural disasters.

Jesus appeared to me on March 17, 1984. I was 28 years old at the time. He instructed me to spread His solution for the achievement of world peace and to work towards it. He instructed me to tell people the precise location of Heaven. And he instructed me to share the cure for cancer. BUT He told me NOT TO TELL ANYONE He had appeared to me until after the dawn of the new millennium when at that time I would receive a sign. The sign would be a huge natural disaster. For a brief while I thought the events of September 11, 2001 were the sign that it was OK to tell people that Jesus had appeared to me. However, I knew that Jesus had said it would be a NATURAL DISASTER so I remained silent. Then the tsunamis of December 2004 hit. I realized that it was time for me to come forward. I have been trying to ‘go public’ since then.

I have decided to go with Ebay in an effort to spread the messages of Jesus.. The winner of this auction will be given my hand written journal which tells in detail the messages Jesus revealed to me.. The person who wins this journal will have the right to copy it and distribute it in any way he or she desires.. I will seek no royalties.

GOOD LUCK BIDDING AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/MY-HANDWRITTEN-JOURNAL-JESUS-CHRIST-APEARED-TO-ME_W0QQitemZ9532054925QQcategoryZ16710QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

[ClintonTyree]

1. Rats, the auction has ended.....

I guess someone used the "buy it now" feature for $39,000+. :sarcasm: Why the $35 shipping though? Must be one hell of a journal, huh? :eyes:

You've got to hand it to people on ebay though, they're always coming up with new ways to rip people off. Sadly, I bet there were more than a few people who really thought this was legitimate. There's one born every minute.

[malaise]

4. Why blame them

if there are so many gullible people willing to buy this crap.

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. Ummmm...Roh Roh

It looks like I am in trouble in regard to #2 below. I was watching * speak on the tee vee the other day, and I became so enraged that I chewed my arm off. If only you had posted this earlier.
:evilgrin:

#2. THE CURE FOR CANCER: The cure for cancer is actually the knowledge of the precise CAUSE OF CANCER. We already know the cures for cancer, mainly prevention and early detection. Also chemotherapy, radiation, surgery and alternative medicine. We also are acutely aware of the roles of carcinogens, environment, heredity and diet. But what is the PRECISE AND SOLE CAUSE OF CANCER? CANCER OCCURS WHEN WE EAT OUR OWN FLESH. (Two very simple examples of eating our own flesh are biting our cuticles or biting our lips.) When a piece of our own flesh is digested, microscopic fragments of our own DNA enter the bloodstream. If a piece of this DNA enters a vulnerable cell, the nucleus of the cell identifies the 'food' as 'self' and this causes a 'circuit' to be blown in the nucleus. When (and if) that cell goes to divide, it does so in a haphazard fashion, dividing into four instead of into two and the mutation continues. There is an interesting correlation to Christianity here. Jesus told us to "take His flesh and eat it." Now he wants us to know not to eat our own flesh in any way because it is deadly.

[BlueJazz]

3. I don't know where Heaven is but I DO believe I've found Hell.

[ClintonTyree]

5. You've at least found the night manager....

geez, she looks terrible! :puke: Rail thin, bottle blond and she's either wearing a padded bra or had a boob-job. No way those are real considering how reed thin the rest of her is. :puke: :puke: What a harpy! :scared: