Need help - kids and heroin

[fumsm]

Found out my kid has been doing heroin. Apparently it is much cheaper and leaves your system quicker than other drugs, such as pot, so it is convenient for kids in school. Kid is now 19, keeps lying that he's done, then I find out he's back at it. Refuses to go to rehab (which will cost me a fortune due to my f'd up health insurance)but I am willing to give up everything to save him. Nothing is working and I can't put him in due to his age.

Anyone else been through this?

Please help!!!

[proud patriot]

1. I'm sorry

I'm not experienced in this matter , I just wanted you to know whatever you decide
I'm here for you (hug)

[Botany]

2. seek professional help ASAP ..... DU is not the place.

talk to a judge, the police, or a local place that works w/ drug addicts. Tell you kid that you love him/her very much
but 1 hot shot of smack will kill him or her too.

[vadawg]

4. ditto, get him in a program now, though hes gotta want it to

or it wont work until he forced through being in jail...

[Botany]

8. I have lost friends to drugs .... and the new heroin I have heard can be .....

.... really hot. I have a friend who is an E.R. doc in central Ohio ..... he says he sees heroin cases all the time.
Small town 35 miles east of Columbus.

[vadawg]

11. we got a lot of heroin here, tends to be low level criminals involved

but a lot of it is being punted by gangbangers and the addicts are playing with fire.. we have started seeing a lot in the schools also and even had some deaths...

[Botany]

15. We have seen lots of black tar smack around here ... and in rural areas too ...

.... and w/ much of the hispanic population too. That shit is wicked ... my friend who works the E.R.
told me that some people were going through 600 to 1,000 $s worth in a 48 hour period ..... after which
they crash, save a little to get through the work week, or O.D..

[EFerrari]

13. DU is exactly the place to find other parents who are dealing with it

and those are the people who do the real spade work of support and info sharing, not judges, not police, not even doctors.

[Flaneur]

20. DO NOT talk to the cops. They are not your son's friend.

Explore various treatment options, but recognize that treatment often doesn't work. Recognize also that most drug users grow out of it on their own.

Learn about harm reduction. If he insists on using heroin, he should smoke it, not shoot it, to reduce the risk of overdose and coming down with blood-borne diseases.

[EFerrari]

27. Second that. The Police ARE NOT mental health professionals.

Their job is to enforce drug laws.

[EOTE]

3. I've known addicts who've had good luck with methadone treatment.

You can tell him that methadone provides a lot of the same high as heroin does, but because it's a controlled, daily dosage, it's easier to get off completely. It's far, far easier than trying to quit by one's self.

[Warpy]

18. It blocks the high

and addicts who really don't want to quit will keep doing more and more heroin on top of it to get a buzz that never happens.

Quite a few have given themselves an OD.

[EOTE]

26. It blocks the high of other opiates, but methadone itself provides a high.

A high that's very similar to that of opiates. And it discourages the user from taking other opiates because they no longer have an effect on them. So much so that if they do large amounts, it actually makes them ill. So if anyone ODs while on a methadone program, it's because they're woefully uninformed.

[SOS]

36. 19 is too young for methadone, imo

I've known many addicts over the years and methadone is a horrific detox.
At 19, perhaps he could kick cold turkey in a rehab.
Another thing to check into is buprenorphine, which was approved in 2002.

[EOTE]

38. Would detox be any less painful than methadone?

I thought the whole point of methadone is that it makes gradually stepping down a heck of a lot easier than quitting cold turkey like usually must be done with heroin.

[SOS]

44. Methadone is used principally as a maintenance drug

Sometimes a heroin addict may be given a short course of methadone for 3-4 days during the acute phase of heroin withdrawal.
Meth leaves the body more slowly and can be useful in this way.
But as a maintenance drug of say 80-100 mg. a day, meth is a real ball and chain.
Getting of 80 mg. a day, cold turkey is the worst detox on earth.

[EOTE]

50. I guess I don't understand why you'd need to quit methadone cold turkey.

Isn't it possible to slowly lower the dose until you get to around 20mg and then quit from there? As I recall, my coworker who went to a methadone clinic was on 20mg when he finally quit.

[SOS]

51. Even low doses are hard to kick.

I have two friends who have kicked maintenance level methadone recently.
One was at 30 mg and the other was at 5 mg.
Neither could go more than about 30 hours at zero and both ended up using buprenorphine to get off the meth and then to zero.

My friends were ages 40 and 52 and had been on meth for years.
Perhaps a sturdy young person can handle the detox with less suffering.
That's why I suggested not going on meth maintenance at age 19.
Best, at that age, to try to get completely clean and avoid the years of meth misery.

[Born_A_Truman]

5. Yes, I have been there...

PM me if you want to talk, but one thing I learned was until they want to be clean no program will work. I spent thousands.

[MilesColtrane]

31. I'm afraid you are right about that.

The only thing that may help someone decide to seek help in stopping (short of going to jail, or becoming homeless) is to have them speak to a former addict who lost everything themselves.

Even after hearing a persuasive, sympathetic junkie relate their personal horror story, most people will simply think, "I'm smarter than that. That won't happen to me."

[YOY]

6. Get a professional on this ASAP! Stop playing on the internet.

Why the fuck would he do heroin instead of pot??? That's not really a good cop-out. I've smoked weed my entire life and never once been tempted to touch that nasty shit.

[wtbymark]

7. unfortunately, most people have to hit bottom..

before they want to help themselves. good luck

[cynatnite]

9. Call a professional...

:hug:

[EmeraldCityGrl]

10. I know several families going through this.

Oxycotin addiction is epidemic. When their resources evaporate they turn to heroin because it's cheaper.

Join a support group for parents. Learn how NOT to enable his addiction,
NOTHING, NOTHING you do will make a difference. The drug is in control
of his life.

Lastly, as odd as it may sound, it he gets arrested for a possession charge or some
kind of misdemeanor, a few weeks or months in jail will be the best thing that could
happen. A lot cheaper than $20,000 a month for rehab not to mention no chance of a
fatal overdose.

Take good care of yourself and the rest of your family.

[MilesColtrane]

32. Jail doesn't automatically mean cleaning up.

There are plenty of drugs in jail.

However, jail may be the only thing that could shock an addict into reassessing the trajectory his life is taking and seeking help.

[EFerrari]

12. The first thing you need to do is find and talk to

the best rehab program in your area. The best one may not be the fancy one. It may be one through Catholic Charities or something. But if you find it and call them, they can give you some suggestions.

I'll tell you what I did. I found a rehab place for my son and did a lot of organizing in the family around that. And coming up with the money. We were lucky, we qualified for a grant from the county.

Then, the next time he did something that was illegal, I offered him jail or rehab. He chose rehab.

I didn't do it alone, the whole family was on the same page. And, the rehab program was long term, not one of the 30 or 90 day wonders.

He's been clean about 14 years now -- but it was a lot of work. He didn't go into rehab alone. We all had to work it right along side of him.

I can't give you advice. But, that is what we did. And in the middle of all this, you need to figure out what you need to keep yourself together and to get that. Other parents in the same boat can be really helpful.

:hug:

[Warpy]

14. First, think about getting to an Al Anon meeting

They're free and they're for friends and families of addicts and alcoholics. They can save your sanity.

Second, realize he's an adult and there is a limit to what you can do. Right now, he's getting more pleasure than pain out of the drug. That's not going to last, and you might be able to get through to him when it's more pain than pleasure, something that is inevitable.

You can try a whole family intervention, but it's not likely to work now.

A lot of us have watched friends and family wreck their lives with drugs and alcohol. There is a special agony in knowing there is little you can do until they hit bottom and are willing to ask for help. Sometimes bottom is a hell of a long way down.

Do consider Al Anon. You need to take care of yourself while he's not allowing you to take care of him.

[EFerrari]

16. With respect, Warpy a 19 year old is not an adult with an adult brain.

And what works program-wise for adults is not what children or even young adults need.

[Warpy]

21. With respect, Al Anon is for Mom and Dad

and that's the only thing I suggested.

[EFerrari]

24. I know it's crucial for family members to get their priorities straight.

And, for those of us in addictive families, that's life work, not only the decision of one moment.

But kids aren't adults, they're kids. They're dealing with addiction on top of being kids. Treating them as adults is, in a very real sense, asking too much of them in the situation and an abdication of our responsibility as parents.

So this talk about "hitting bottom" has to be mitigated to fit the situation because kids have a much more fluid sense of what "bottom" is. They don't have the markers that a 35 year old has. They're kids.

Parents have a different role than spouses or even friends, whether we like it or not.

[TrogL]

23. Maybe an open NA meeting as well, then talk to somebody after

If invited to speak, mention that your son is an addict and ask what to do.

[Warpy]

35. Yes, a great idea, but only with Al Anon under the belt

That organization saved what was left of my sanity and quite probably my life.

[abumbyanyothername]

30. +1

As a friend of mine said to a treatment center rep who was pitching his rotary club (or something):

"Let me get this straight, I can go to your treatment center for $10,000 (this was 1982) and they will tell me don't drink, go to meetings and read the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Or I can go to AA, put a buck in the basket, and they will tell me don't drink, go to meetings and read the book. Why would I choose you?"

OP cannot stop child from doing anything. OP should go to Al-Anon where others will inform straight away that the only person's problem that you can solve are yours.

[nightrain]

47. AA is not treatment per se. Your friend is quite misinformed and haughty-sounding,

Treatment will address not only substance abuse but other issues that contribute to using/drinking.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

17. I went through addiction with a loved one

I agree with the posts above which ask you to seek professional help. You're going to need it to help keep you focused on what you can and cannot do to help them, and to keep you sane through all of this.

One thing I will say now is you cannot make them get treatment before they've reached a point where they want to heal.

There are things you can do which may help bring them to that epiphany a bit sooner. However, you really should seek the help of a qualified professional to understand the situation better.

My heart goes out to you. This is such a painful thing to have to endure, you're going to have to draw on every bit of strength you have in the future. :grouphug:

[fumsm]

22. Thanks!

I am at wits end now. We live in the suburbs, and it seems heroin is the new drug of choice. The number of girls I now know of doing it blows my mind. They are intelligent, beautiful, and very streetwise. I chase the guys friends away, and the girls show up. I've tried everything I can do. Counseling, they put him on suboxin, that was a disaster. There all selling their subs to each other for a high.
Ww are at the point now that if his lips are moving, he's lying. He works, but has no money or anything to show for his efforts. I've taken his car, his cell phone (which is a real big problem due to his ability to find someone instantly) and he's fine for a awhile. Then as he gets things back, he last about two weeks and back at it. I don't know what else to do. We are devastated. He is the oldest of three. Our life this past few month's has been devastated.

[EFerrari]

25. You can't do this by yourself or even in your family.

You need to reach out to a larger community for your sake and for your son's.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

29. Something you should try and always keep at the front of your mind is it's a family crisis

It's going to take all of you, as a team, to get through this and make it out the other side.

Your words above sent a chill down my spine. Been there, done that and never thought the cycle would end. The little glimmers of hope when they're home and seem to be doing better, too quickly change to a painful realization that they're off on another binge.

Those were the worst years of my life by far. The frustration over my feelings of helplessness almost broke me. But they didn't and it is possible to emerge from something like this a stronger family.

EFerrari gave some great advice above in post #12. Not every road to recovery are paved in the same material. However, the successful ones do all lead to the same destination. Sustained sobriety. Talk to many people and develop a network of people in similar situations to yours if at all possible.

Whatever you do, don't forget your and the rest of your families sanity and well being during all this. Dealing with an addict can be so consuming it's often easy to forget yourself and get lost in all the drama they project. Which is unhealthy and destructive behavior.

Remember, you're not alone in this and others do understand what you're going through.

[XemaSab]

19. Good luck to you and your son

I lost a friend of mine a few years ago... He got clean, then decided to use one more time. His body was no longer used to it, and he OD'd. :cry:

[Muttocracy]

41. :(

[Epiphany4z]

28. my sister is an addict

it has been a life time of trying to get her to stay clean. I look at addiction like its diabetes...it is a disease that has to be treated for the rest of that persons life... First if at all possible get the kid to detox and some kind of treatment. My sis does best when its treated by her PC and mental health doc. Also get yourself some help ,some counseling , speak to someone who specializes in addiction I think it is a must for loved ones of an addict .

I am sorry to hear you are going through this and wish the best ...

Feel free to IM or E Mail me if want I don't have any magic answers but I have been through this for a while..

[Name removed]

33. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[fumsm]

34. Thanks to everyone!!!

I really appreciate the advice. I'm new to this, and don't know what to do. Timing is bad, since I just lost my job of 25 years in the auto industry, health care, etc.

[Muttocracy]

42. I have no advice just a virtual hug

Literally when I read this, I was listening to one of my favorite songs, which happens to be a tribute to another musician who OD'ed. It's a gorgeous song but so so sad. I hope your family finds a way out of your hell.

:hug:

[mdmc]

37. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son

There is only one way out. the only way out is for him to stop using. and that won't be easy.

God bless you. and him.

my prayers and thoughts are with you.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

39. If he's staying with you throw him out. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

[Cetacea]

40. Find a psychiatrist who is certified to presrcibe buprenorphine.

Or "bupe". It is a mu-opioid that blocks some of the euphoria but still retains enough of the effects to make it a good substitute. And it's a whole lot easier to withdraw from. Plus, a lot of people think it's "cool". It's only approved for detox and the FDA is very strict about it. A doctor has to take a certificate course in order to prescribe.

[rcrush]

43. Its real popular in high schools and colleges

Its cheaper for college kids to get some heroin than it is to buy a case of beer. Around here it is anyway. I dont know what to suggest except dont call the cops. They wont rehab him.

[nightrain]

45. so sorry to hear about your son.... For you, go to Nar-Anon.

For your son, don't cover for him, have him experience real consequences of his behavior.

There's some serious misinformation in some of the posts about methadone. When it's at the correct dose, it does not produce a high. There are other meds that are now available through a physician that can be helpful. Inform yourself. Read, talk to others, and listen.

Maybe there are some public programs available in your area that could be of assistance when he's willing.

Love him, in a detached way. Nar-Anon. Nar-Anon. Nar-Anon.

[nini]

46. If he wants help - help him

if he refuses to admit it's a problem then you have to cut him loose. It'll be the hardest thing you've ever done in your life but the most important. Anything short of that is enabling him and will only prolong the unavoidable of him accepting he has a problem.

If he wants help - help him find the help he needs then step back and allow him to follow through or not.

Most importantly YOU will need support in staying strong and sticking to your guns with him.

Good luck.

[Odin2005]

48. Don't know how to help, but my thoughts are with you guys.

That fucking sucks. :(

[slackmaster]

49. Tagged for interest - sorry to hear that, heroin is VERY bad news

People become addicted before they realize it. The brain of an addict is rewired to turn the person into a drug-seeking machine.

I hope he has a personal revelation and decides to quit, or he's in for a lifetime of problems.

ETA I have a friend who is serving a long prison sentence as a result of his addiction to heroin. He got busted for robbing an ice cream store, and was convicted of numerous robberies, making him a "second strike" felon.

Brilliant man, talented writer and musician, very nice person. He could be an excellent sales person. When he's clean, he is charming and honest. On dope, he becomes a devious con man who would steal just about anything from just about anyone.