A weekend moment in Wednesday!!! . . . Please come CAPTION (the traitor to human consciousness)!!!

[skip fox]

"In fact, I have discovered in the bill's fine print that before they snuff grandma and grandpa, they're planning on waterboarding them. . . . It will be mandatory if this bill passes. . . . And because of diseases that small animals carry . . . NO MORE PETS!!! . . . It's right there in black and white, ladies and gentlemen . . . . You won't believe it, but it's absolutely true. . . . Have I ever deceived you?"

[ensho]

1. punk

nt

[HopeHoops]

2. "And my friends, believe me. If this thing passes, they'll come into your home and take your Oxy."

What else would lard ass be afraid of?

[wryter2000]

3. By the way, ladies and gentlemen

This actually isn't my finger. It's my (fill in the blank) :evilgrin:

[skip fox]

4. "And everybody will be required to perform sexually on camera . . .

You'll have to show you're sexually healthy several times a years. . . . This means, we would all have to act in porn movies!!! . . . I know it sounds like a stretch, but you can't put anything past some people. They'll lie while looking you straight in the face."

[Vickers]

5. "Have I ever deceived you?"

:rofl:

Dude, how about the time you tried to cover up the fact that you had gone deaf from taking hillbilly heroin?

[madmax]

6. Skip

Is this satire or did he really say that?! :crazy:

I'm stunned!

[skip fox]

8. Channelling his essence, the literal words are not necessarily important.

(I.e., these are creative quotations.)

[skip fox]

7. "God help you if this bill passes, because they're going to try to prove evolution

by experimenting on you and your kids. . . . Some of you, they'll make into paraplegics just to see if new drugs can let you evolve new limbs. . . . Or make you snort stem cells. . . . Others are going to have to give birth to reptiles and fish and eels and squid . . . Ladies and gentlemen, these people are absolutely beyond belief!!!!"

[skip fox]

9. "They'll put cameras in your house and everyone will be required

to do yoga while they watch and make sure. . . . You'll also have to chant mantras for health to the wild gods of India and the atheist god of science."

[skip fox]

10. "And everyone will be required to have an autistic child . . . Just so we all know

what living with such a burden can mean . . . And go on NPR and Oprah to cry about it. . . . It's sick, ladies and gentlemen, simply sick beyond credible belief."

[benld74]

11. Weird Uncle Rush! Hey Cmer and pull my finger!

[skip fox]

12. " . . . and all men will have to take random blood tests for too much testosterone!

And if you're over a certain limit . . . or if you object too vocally . . . they'll hold you down and give you shots of estrogen . . . . That's what they want, ladies and gentlemen, a population of unisex freaks that they can play with like flesh puppets!!"

[Big K]

13. I'm not bragging folks, this is a well known fact...

My penis is this big!:nopity:

[skip fox]

14. "And they're planning to ban everything but herbal tea, organic produce, and

and soy beans, and make everyone burn incense at dinner."

[skip fox]

15. "I am NOT a drug abuser. I say, only one pill at a time!!"

:)

[skip fox]

16. "And the government plans to hire members of Acorn to be in every examining room.

And they'll take pictures to post on the internet, and . . ."