Okla family sort of mourns dead son in Iraq

[karlrschneider]

This video (click on Oklahoma family remembers fallen soldier...) doesn't quite do justice to the full coverage on the local station broadcast. These people were almost like "oh, well..shit happens, what's for supper"
:puke:
http://www.kotv.com/

[dairydog91]

1. Gee...

Would it be impolite for me to point out that it's because of Chimpie that shit happened?

[shadowknows69]

2. Maybe it's just me

but i thought that famliy portrait spoke volumes in itself. not to diminish anyone's loss but hey, some families just don't like each other.

[Name removed]

3. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Bluerthanblue]

4. I'm sorry- grief does strange things to people- I give them plenty

of room.

It's been what?.... 3 days?

If you've gone through times like this, you understand that NOTHING is "normal"-

Many folks go into "automatic pilot" in the first few weeks and months. (I did- not remembering some of what went on for a couple of years... it is a kind of protective numbness.)
Then the reality seeps in.

it sucks-
My heart goes out to them.

Peace-
blu

(edit for incomplete sentences- goodnite :dunce:)

[The Straight Story]

5. When my mom died I had just gotten to the hospital room

I was in shock. Everyone expected me, the baby of the kids, to be a mess. And I just stood there and told my brother, who was weeping and holding her hand, we need to go - nothing else we can do here.

It took me a few, but I knew it would hit. I was in such shock I could hardly muster any tears. 2 years later, and I am moving away (Live next door to dad and mom's ashes) and I am still crying like a baby....

[Bluerthanblue]

9. wish

I could say it gets better.

The hole death brings is one that is never fill-able in my experience.-

Hope your and your family have a safe, positive move SS.

:hug: :grouphug: :hug:

peace- to everyone.

blu

'nite all.

[drm604]

6. Really.

I don't see what the problem is with that video. Should they all be constantly sobbing uncontrollably? I see a family trying to maintain self-control in front of a camera. I don't understand what the complaint is. :shrug:

My heart also goes out to them.

[karlrschneider]

7. Maybe I expected something impossible...it just seemed so matter-of-fact to me.

...

[Bluerthanblue]

8. you aren't 'wrong'- I guess what I wanted to say was it's best to have NO

'expectations'-

People react in all kinds of ways. And all of them are 'right'.

We do what gets us through the pain. I disassociate very easily. And tend to be very 'cool' in an emergency. It is later that I crumble.

People stuffing a camera in your face when you are in the midst of such life shattering loss...
I don't think we should expect anything.

I understand how you could interpret their behaviour as 'aloof'-
But if you look close, the mother was having a hard time keeping herself together. And the cat on the sisters lap became a very good distraction for all of them.

This family is broken.
I hope they can find some sincere peace.

blu

(sorry, i didn't intend to come across as condemning)

[drm604]

10. When my father died I went numb.

I still wonder what people thought of me at the time. I suppose they either thought that I was strong and in control or that I didn't give a crap. Neither was true, I was simply numb and in shock.

[Nicole]

12. I did that as well.

When my father died, I didn't cry at all when I got the news. I didn't cry at the church service. It wasn't until I saw the hole in the ground that I cried. Uncontrollably. My brothers had to hold me up as we walked to the grave site. I don't remember much of that walk.

We all grieve differently. I hope no one judged me by the lack of tears for the 3 days prior to my father's funeral. They would have thought, wrongly, that I wasn't mourning my father's death. Like you, I was simply numb and in shock.

[sandnsea]

15. I intentionally did that

I cried when my sister first called. But after that if anybody said anything emotional at all, I just instructed that it stop. Getting through the funeral and family stuff was the priority. There was no way that could happen if we were all a puddle on the floor. My sister barely got out of the funeral home, baby sister had to take charge of big sister. My brother wouldn't even go to either parent's funeral, he doesn't believe in them. I think most people know everybody handles these things differently.

[Nicole]

11. Okla family maybe sort of numb after many tears?

You have no idea how much they are grieving. A clip on the news doesn't tell the whole story. It looks like the mom is crying at the end of that clip. Perhaps they all broke down when the cameras were turned off?

[JVS]

13. They seemed sad in a midwestern kind of way

[Djinn]

14. Maybe they prefer to do their greiving in private

and not in front of the cameras of the emotion vultures? No matter what happened to my family, if the media got involved in their obscene way my only public statement would be "fuck off!" might not seem to outsiders that I was greiving but hey it'd be none of their damn business either