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Port-O-San rentals in the National Capitol region are expected to be hard find now that the local chapter of Free Republic has scheduled a mass protest in Seneca Creek State Park this Saturday.
Organizers are expecting 50,000 protesters at the event, which be held at the Nuthatch Pavilion. The theme of the event is tentatively titled "Socialism is for Fairies, End Tax Tyranny Now. Teabaggers Unite!"
The leader of the event, who wished to remain anonymous, said "We're not opposed to building housing tracts in the state forest, but not one of these fairies has been able to produce a long-form birth certificate proving their natural citizenship. These fairies are a bad influence on our children, and their immoral magical ways lead them away from genuine Chritianity which this Republic was founded on; we will defend it at the barrel of a gun."
Park Rangers and national police plan to search all park visitors Saturday for guns and weapons of mass destruction. TV commentators Lou Dobbs and Glen Beck have been asked to be the keynote speakers, but their publicists have so far not returned our calls.
Friends of the Park are organizing vigilante posse groups to protect the fairy homes from possible fire bombing. "If they only knew what they were up against, I'm sure they would reconsider their position," said the leader of the group. "Fairies have magical powers that we have little understanding of. I hope they don't make them angry!"
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