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Acheron - Those who refused to choose between good and evil: Blue Dog Democrats
First Circle (Limbo) – The virtuous unbaptized: Ayatollah Khomeni (virtuous in his own estimation)
Second Circle – The lustful: Senator David Vitter and his diapers
Third Circle – Gluttons: Rush Limbaugh
Fourth Circle – The avaricious and extravagant: Wall Street bankers
Fifth Circle – The wrathful: Anti-choice rabble rousers
Sixth Circle – Heretics: The Mormons, the Roman Catholic Church
Seventh Circle - The violent First Ring – Violence against persons or property (Murderers, arsonists, vandals): Dick Cheney Second Ring – Violence against self and possessions (Suicides, profligates): Timothy McVeigh Third Ring – Violence against God, nature, and art (Blasphemers, usurers): Pope Benedict XVI
Eighth Circle (Malebolge) - The fraudulent First Ditch – Panderers and seducers (Pimps, players): Michael Vick Second Ditch – Flatterers (Apple-polishers, ass-kissers): Senator John McCain, Justice Clarence Thomas Third Ditch – Simonists (Those who bribed their way into positions of religious authority): Rick Warren, Donnie McClurkin Fourth Ditch – Soothsayers and diviners: Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, et al Fifth Ditch – Barrators (Those who buy and sell public office, also those who encourage frivolous lawsuits): Rod Blagoevitch Sixth Ditch – Hypocrites: Tony Blair, Arnold Schwartzenegger Seventh Ditch – Thieves: The Saudi royal family Eighth Ditch – Evil counselors: Alberto Gonzales, Condi Rice, Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld Ninth Ditch – Schismatics: The Republican Party Tenth Ditch – Falsifiers (Counterfeiters, impersonators, perjurers): George W. Bush, Sarah Palin
Ninth Circle - Traitors First Round (Caina) – Treason against kindred: The Bush Family Evil Empire Second Round (Antenora) – Treason against government and/or party: Senator Joseph Lieberman Third Round (Ptolomaea) – Treason against guests (e.g. Lando betraying Han Solo to Darth Vader before his redemption): Bill O'Riley Fourth Round (Judecca) – Treason against lords and benefactors: The Taliban, Al-Qaeda
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