Welcome to the outraged, fly-supporting DUzy Awards, recognizing putatively funny stuff, things and whatever from the past week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!
The DUzy Awards might just be announced every Friday night. Previous awards can be found in my journal.
Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD. Special thanks to varelse, CaliforniaPeggy, TahitiNut, rocktivity, dixiegrrrrl, krispos42, babylonsister, Commie Pinko Dirtbag, stellanoir, TZ, REACTIVATED IN CT, tavalon, Muttocracy, merh, QueenOfCalifornia, ColbertWatcher, WillYourVoteBCounted, sailor65 and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance with this edition. This should have appeared last week.On a thread by MaineDem: (GHW) Bush parachutes into churchyard"President George H.W. Bush celebrated his 85th birthday today by parachuting from an altitude of 10,500 feet into the churchyard of St. Ann's Episcopal Chapel in Kennebunkport. He landed at 1:44 p.m. and was greeted by his wife Barbara Bush.
The plane, a C-31 Fokker, had to make several passes before finding an opening in the clouds where Bush could make the jump..."
Robb:
Fokkers are dropping crap in the churchyard. ntLBN, June 12, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3919857 On a thread by NJmaverick: Are you where you expected to be in life? wanted to be? no name no slogan:
No. My body count is way off.Damn those Scientologists.
rug:
I am not yet Aquaman. Robeson:
I thought I'd be a popular black jazz musician by now... NJmaverick:
Are you at least working as a musician? Robeson:
Yes, I'm a musician by hobby.......but not being black is my first stumbling block.
The Lounge, June 13, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8846255 On a thread by rug: Shattering The Meat Myth: Humans Are Natural Vegetarians"There is no more authoritative source on anthropological issues than paleontologist Dr. Richard Leakey, who explains what anyone who has taken an introductory physiology course might have discerned intuitively -- that humans are herbivores. Leakey notes that 'you can't tear flesh by hand, you can't tear hide by hand.... We wouldn't have been able to deal with food source that required those large canines'...
In fact, our hands are perfect for grabbing and picking fruits and vegetables. Similarly, like the intestines of other herbivores, ours are very long (carnivores have short intestines so they can quickly get rid of all that rotting flesh they eat)...'"
Lerkfish:
even if true....so what?I still savor a good steak.
rug:
How long are your intestines? Lerkfish:
how big is your ass?:shrug:
conscious evolution:
Pass the popcornshrimp please.
L0oniX:
Why do you hate cannibals? Ikonoklast:
He doesn't *hate* cannibals.It's just that he finds them a tad gamey.
kenny blankenship:
Exactly. That's why we have four stomachs.and that's why first person shooter video games which simulate hunt and kill behavior are such a marginal, tiny sub-category of electronic media culture.
Silly stuff. Our closest genetic and morphological relative is the chimpanzee, which like humans eats both plants and animals.
rug:
Obesity has become a national concern. Marr:
What is this, Non-Sequitur Theater? rug:
No, we are discussing prunes. Iggo:
Damn. If only we hadn't discovered how to make fire.Damn the luck!
Canuckistanian:
But a drumstick fits neatly into your handTherefore that theory is bunk.
KamaAina:
If I have my popcorn without butter, it's vegan, right?:popcorn:
GD, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5846249 On a thread by marybourg: "We will response you"That was the message in the automated e-mail I received from the manufacturer of my tv digital converter box when I e-mailed to tell them that the box, which formerly had to re-scanned every time I turned on the set, now doesn't even bring up its menu...
Sal Minella:
When you are duly responsed as notificated, please to inform us ofresulting clarifying advices. Thanking you for your personally assistants in resolve this matter.
cloudbase:
They're probably busy officing.Message them again.
AlCzervik:
in Soviet Russia Response will you!GD, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5846891 OP or poll or something by Oeditpus Rex: Poll question: *delete*Thought I was in the Lounge. :blush:
Poll result (2 votes)
Patsy Stone:
I predict 60 recs for this threadat least.
Wilms:
You talked me into it.k&r
Patsy Stone:
That makes 13 of us.And another 47 to go. :toast:
EFerrari:
46! Lochloosa:
47 NYC Democrat:
48! I win BuyingThyme:
Correct answer: 71Did anybody have 71?
Patsy Stone:
Please, hold on to your tickets until we have a winner!Wow. I love DU. :)
nichomachus:
This is by far the most cogent defense of the DOMA brief I've seen so far many a good man:
I DEMAND our votes be counted!What is this? Teheran? Florida? Ohio???
pleah:
K&R Thanks for the birthday thread! What!?This isn't my birthday thread? Damn!
:evilgrin: :toast:
tularetom:
One word. Just one wordPlastics
Debi:
Heh hehdupe?
GD, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5848040 On a thread by Liberal_in_LA: 'Pregnant' anti -abortion blogger's hoax angers readers - anti abortion readers feel exploited"Pregnant' blogger's hoax angers readers
Illinois social worker Beccah Beushausen’s blog had a vast, loyal following, largely from fellow antiabortion advocates who offered prayers, gifts and other support.
An Illinois woman's online story about giving birth to a child diagnosed in the womb as terminally ill turns out to be untrue. Many of her antiabortion readers say they feel emotionally exploited...
As more people were drawn to the blog -- which included biblical quotes, antiabortion messages and a soundtrack of inspirational Christian pop songs -- advertisers were queuing up. By the evening of June 7, when the woman blogged that April Rose had survived a home birth only to die hours later, her website had nearly 1 million hits.
There was only one problem with the unfolding tragedy: None of it was true.
The baby in the photos, swaddled in white blankets, was a doll.
'I have that exact doll in my house,' said Elizabeth Russell, a doll maker from Buffalo, N.Y., who had been following the blog. 'As soon as I saw that picture, I knew it was a scam...'"
grantcart:
Ah that would be the rare Munchausen from Beushausen caseGD, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5845119 Poll question by struggle4progress: Tips and Guidelines for Losing Political Fights! Absolutely Free! Get Yours Now!:bluebox: Forget about arguments that convince other people! This is all about what I think!
:bluebox: Spurn multi-issue coalitions working on anything related! My issue is the only one that matters!
:bluebox: If you agree with my goals but have different tactical ideas, just go to hell!
:bluebox: Accuracy is unimportant! If I have to misrepresent a situation to get attention, so be it!
:bluebox: Nothing should happen under the radar screen! I like to paint big targets on my friends!
:bluebox: When I want a politician to work with me, I will loudly and often call that person a liar!
:bluebox: History is irrelevant! I really don't need to know anything about the past!
:bluebox: Forget local politics! I expect all change to start at the very top!
:bluebox: People who have worked for years on progressive issues are sell-outs! I can't learn anything from them!
:bluebox: What an asinine piece of shit post this is! Go fuck yourself!
Toucano:
My God! There's no "All of the Above"?ROFL!
struggle4progress:
Dunno. "All of the above" might be the sense of the last choice. Then, again, maybe not.At press time, "What an asinine piece of shit post this is! Go fuck yourself!" was winning with 42% of the votes.
GD, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5850918
On a thread by Pirate Smile: Prairie dogs immediately escape from $500k escape-proof habitat"The Maryland Zoo spent $500,000 to make an escape-proof prairie dog habitat, called Prairie Dog Town. The prairie dogs escaped within 10 minutes of being introduced to their new habitat. Zookeepers caught the escaped prairie dogs with nets.
Aircraft wire, poured concrete and slick plastic walls proved no match for the fast-footed rodents, the stars of a new exhibit that opens today..."
Orrex:
Awesome!They should relocate them to Montana.
struggle4progress:
Why? Hasn't anybody found a way to escape from Montana?GD, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5854186 Poll question by Richard Steele: Poll question: POLL: When I say "I'm a toothless hillbilly from Polecat Hollow", as I often do, what do you think?I really -am-, you know.
"Polecat Hollow" is a real place up in Bedford county, PA.
It runs between "Lemnus Ridge" and "River Mountain", and I am *from* there.
:bluebox: Thought you invented the name "Polecat Hollow" as a joke.
:bluebox: Never thought about it at all.
:bluebox: I like to vote on DU polls
:bluebox: Dude, what's up with your teeth?
:bluebox: I like to vote on DU polls, SPECIAL Struggle4Progress category.
:bluebox: Robb is still a dingbat, even after all this time
:bluebox: Huh?
:bluebox: Other- post comment.
:bluebox: OTHER- post kitty pics.
:bluebox: OTHER- post kitty pics.ALERTING MODS- why is this drunk-assed "Dick Steele" idiot still here?
At press time, "Other- post comment." was winning with 38% of the votes.
The Lounge, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8849727
On a thread by Contrary1: Ancient mass grave found on Olympics site"An ancient burial pit containing 45 severed skulls, that could be a mass war grave dating back to Roman times, has been found under a road being built for the 2012 British Olympics.
Archaeologists, who have only just begun excavating the site, say they do not yet know who the bones might belong to..."
eppur_se_muova:
"do not yet know who the bones might belong to"?Just look for people without heads -- how hard can that be?
GD, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5856260 On a thread by tekisui: Haley Barbour Testing the 2012 Waters in Iowa, NH camera obscura:
Because an old, fat, white guy with a racist record is just what their party needs saltpoint:
"And now, here's Buddy Hackett for Slim-Fast." hatrack:
Haley - for those who just couldn't take the adrenaline rush that is Fred Thompson:rofl:
BeyondGeography:
Haley Barbour for President...who said the Republican Party wasn't diverse?GDP, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8471637 On a thread by Hamlette: I heard Levi wasn't the father which is why he "dumped" Bristol. jobycom:
I heard there was a different blind poet named Homer who really wrote The Odyssey. fishnfla:
I had a turkey sandwich for lunchplain, no mayo or mustard. Pretty good
Critters2:
And I should believe this, why? :)
fishnfla:
damnburned by that 2 source rule again! Curses!
:P
ksoze:
Alex Rodriguez maybe? I heard that somewhere. jmondine:
Wait a minute. If that's true...... I still don't care!
GDP, June 16, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8474712 On a thread by rcrush: Holy Crap! NASA To Blow up the MOON!!!!!"In an unprecedented scientific endeavor — and what may be one of the coolest space missions ever — NASA is preparing to fly a rocket booster into the moon, triggering a six-mile-high explosion that scientists hope will confirm the presence of water..."
Codeine:
This is gonna fuck up SOOO many periods. nt rcrush:
Think of the Werewolves! Dr. Strange:
It's a simple question:If the moon were made of cheese, would you blow it up to determine if there is water under the surface?
dorkulon:
What kind of cheese?If it's Velveeta, nuke the fucker. Roquefort? Give me a baguette and step back.
madeline_con:
Lunacy. n/t Robb:
Thank god, finallyThat glowy fucker's been keeping me awake.
BuyingThyme:
The moonbats aren't gonna like this. myrna minx:
Yay! Free cheese from the sky makes this Wisconsin girl's dream come true. n/t Warren DeMontague:
We must quickly construct a Space Dworkin to stop this interplanetary phallus problem. nt DS1:
It was always lookin at us wrong anyway, needs a smack upside the head dorkulon:
I wish they'd write "CHA" on it in huge letters. uppityperson:
Probably funded by Big Pharma Codeine:
Fuckin' Lunesta, I'm willing to bet. nt pipi_k:
So if they blow up the moon, does that meanwe'll have to give songs a different title?
"Blue
chunk of rock in the sky"
"
Small round dustball River"
"Fly me to the
leftover crater floating in the sky"
"Dark side of the
shiny little sandball revolving around the earth every 28 days"
Just think of the trouble it'll be to change the lyrics!
:cry:
ChickMagic:
Don't forget Blew Moon!:woohoo:
rateyes:
By the light of the silvery dust. flvegan:
There must be oil under the surface. That's why we usually bomb places. jmondine:
... with an Illudium Pew-35 Explosive Space Modulator?"Oh, that makes me very angry!" (pace, pace, pace)
GD, June 16, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5861623 OP by Philosoraptor: How would dubya have dealt with the terrorist interview interrupting fly?I saw the clip of President Obama doing the smack down on the errant insect in his no fly zone, he never missed a beat, so cool under pressure, so quick on the response, it was brilliant.
It got me to wondering how dubya might have handled the bothersome bug. Would he have declared it an enemy combatant? Would he have declared war on ALL flies? Would he have eaten it with a flick of his reptilian tongue?
Warpy:
He'd have stormed off in full poutand only returned when his underlings assured him the miserable thing had been exterminated, the office thick with bug spray fog.
sinkingfeeling:
First he would have nuked the interview set and then he would have repeatedly dipped thefly into his beer, pulling it out right before death, and repeating it.
Philosoraptor:
Beer boarding a fly, I wouldn't put it past him REACTIVATED IN CT:
He would have asked Dick to shoot it n/t LostInAnomie:
Probably would have choked on it....... then passed out and hit his head.
Tierra_y_Libertad:
He would have invaded Botswana and told the CIA to prove the connection. Stephanie:
Bush would have ducked, then accused Democrats of being soft on flies EOTE:
I think he would have started off by swatting wildly.Then the swats would get more furious as he stands up and starts chasing it maniacally around the room. Then he'd start screeching like a howler monkey and baring his teeth at it and would eventually resort to flinging his own feces at it. His handlers would have eventually calmed him down with the promise of warm milk and cookies, and he'd fall asleep, perhaps in their arms. He'd wake up fresh the next morning, ready and able to reproduce the previous day's performance, this time in front of some foreign dignitary.
gratuitous:
Mobilize the militaryAnd then, when someone told him the fly was exterminated*, he would have donned his flight suit, strutted around the deck of an aircraft carrier as if he'd done it himself, and basked in the man-love of Chris Matthews and Gordon Liddy.
Oh, and let a few dozen no-bid contracts. Don't forget the contracts.
*In reality, nobody had done anything about the fly.
11 Bravo:
He would have launched an all-out assault on the nearest ladybug. Philosoraptor:
And send all the terrorist bugs to Gnatmo Forkboy:
By declaring war on Jeff Goldblum. Philosoraptor:
The consensus so far is that cheney would've handled the whole thing himself REACTIVATED IN CT:
Of course - why would this be different from anything elseShrub did while in the White House?
Mnemosyne:
Swat and Awe. n/tGD, June 17, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5869203 On a thread by sabra: Judge: (John) Hinckley Can Drive, Take Long Trips"A federal judge says John Hinckley, the man who tried to kill President Ronald Reagan, can spend more time away from his psychiatric hospital and apply for a driver's license.
In a ruling issued Tuesday, U.S. District Judge Paul Friedman says Hinckley's health will probably improve with more freedom and that he wouldn't be a danger to himself or others.
The judge ruled that Hinckley can increase the length of his visits to his mother's hometown of Williamsburg, Va., from six nights at a time to nine. He'll also be able to do volunteer work and take driver's education..."
peekaloo:
eventually he'll fulfill his dream of becoming a Taxi Driver.LBN, June 17, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3927038 On a thread by sabra: McDonald's Custer toy angers Indian Country"Custer rides again, although he's atop a plastic motorcycle and in a McDonald's Happy Meal box.
And that doesn't sit well with some in the Native American community.
Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer was killed in 1876 along the Little Big Horn River by Native Americans he aimed to destroy.
But Hollywood brought him back to life as a character in the Ben Stiller comedy “Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian,” which opened in theaters May 22. McDonald's included characters from the movie as toys in its kid-sized Happy Meals.
The fast food chain's decision to circulate the toy in Indian Country is akin to circulating a Hitler figure in Israel, according to Laurette Pourier, executive director for the Society for the Advancement of Native Interests-Today. 'It's insensitive and disrespectful...'"
There's a pic of the toy in the OP. hatrack:
I only hope he's wearing an Arrow shirt . . . hard to tell from the image, though . . .:evilgrin:
orestes:
Should've made him with a removable scalp Deja Q:
Coming next month: John Bobbit with detachable, er, head... montanto:
Plus, McDonald's should have remembered Custer's age inappropriate last words."Holy shit! Where'd all them Injuns come from?"
Not to mention the motorcycle he's riding is an Indian.
Arugula Latte:
There are a lot of holes in this story.Ba-dum-chh
cpompilo:
Sounds like a Custerf**k to me n/tLBN, June 18, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3929309 OP by TPaine7: Princeton woman, 77, escorts armed intruder from home at gunpoint"A 77-year-old Princeton woman faced down a man armed with a sawed-off shotgun and sent him running after she pointed her own gun at him, according to court documents."
I for one, realize that this story must be fiction:
1) It is impossible to use a gun to successfully defend against an armed assailant--the bad guys always win.
2) A gun in the home is 75,000 times more likely to be used against you than to be used defensively. This woman would have died several thousands of times before this single defensive use, even if she beat the odds considerably.
3) If she had gotten a shot off before the felon killed her, it would have missed him and killed her daughter (or a neighborhood kid, or a puppy or a kitten or a butterfly...).
I can't imagine why news organizations--and even court documents--lie like that.
Guns, June 18, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=118x230941 On a thread by Mrs. Overall: Olive Garden pulling ads from Letterman over Palin joke (owner donates to Republicans)"Following a week of back and forth between CBS late night comic David Letterman and Sarah Palin over a crude joke he told about the Alaska Republican governor’s daughter, the Olive Garden restaurant says it is cancelling (sic) all of its scheduled ads on Letterman’s “Late Show” for the rest of the year.
In an email to a Letterman critic obtained by POLITICO, a spokeswoman for the Italian restaurant chain wrote that 'there will be no more Olive Garden ads scheduled for "The Late Show" with David Letterman in this year's broadcast schedule,' citing the talk show host’s 'inappropriate comments...'"
sniffa:
Oh heavens no!Where will people in NYC now find out where to go for Italian food?
MineralMan:
What happened wasthat Jim Robinson threatened not to hold any more post-Freep gatherings at the Fresno Olive Garden. Faced with the loss of so much revenue, what else could they do? I mean... really...
bullwinkle428:
WHAT??!?!? An Olive Garden thread located somewhere otherthan the Lounge?
This cannot be! AlCzervik:
Oh no, now where will i find Tuna Parmigiana Rollatini? Arugula Latte:
You've inspired me to create some new dishes for Olive Garden to add to their menu:Of course, no self-respecting Italian person would be caught dead eating them, but they SOUND Italian-ish, and that's good enough.
Tuna Casserolini
Corndogatoni
Fettuccine Velveeta
Tatertotagiano
AlCzervik:
ooohhhhh! Linguine with Spam sauce! Arugula Latte:
Yes! but maybe it should be called "Linguine a la Spamatini" or something.GD, June 18, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5875181 On a thread by Hoopla Phil: Man brandishes gun at delay in his order at McDonalds."A Denver police officer has been suspended after allegedly brandishing his gun at a McDonald's restaurant in Aurora after his order took too long to fill..."
coyotespaw:
Of course, he might have gotten the wrong toy EOM MADem:
He's lucky Rambo wasn't running the fryolator.You want fries, I'll give ya fries.....
Guns, June 19, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=118x231246 OP by unblock: the public option to mail letters cheaply will put fedex and ups out of business!oh wait, fedex and ups charge many times more that usps and yet they've been profitable for years (present extreme recession excluded).
but that could never possibly apply to the health insurance debate. any public option means the instant death of private enterprise. it's a shame capitalism is so fragile that it can't stand any form of choice.
GD, June 19, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5881742 On a locked thread: OK...so what does Obama owe YOU an apology for?
greatauntoftriplets: Locking.
Please leave the political flamefest to GD and GDP. Let's talk about fun stuff in the Lounge like the Olive Garden and breastfeeding.
greatauntoftriplets
DU moderator
The Lounge, June 13, 2009
On a locked thread by the late SamCooke: I'm sorry but illegals don't deserve Health Care.
rasputin1952: I am going to lock this...
Please forward posts through nuclearhell.com as the member has taken the express to said destination.
GDP, June 15, 2009
On a locked thread by the late the high priestess: It looks like DU may be imploding...
wakemeupwhenitsover: Locking.
The OP, for the dozenth time, is no longer with us. I wish she'd get a life.
beset,
wakemeupwhenitsover
GD, June 18, 2009
On a thread by Jackeens: PHOTO Caption it?responses #1 and #9 by Ian Davidresponse #2 by DJ13response #6 by MoonRiverresponse #10 by sakabatouresponse #14 by GivePeaceAchanceresponse #21 by ElsewheresDaughterGDP, June 13, 2009:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8469564The Duzy AwardsTM received no promotional consideration from either Tea Party Czar or the Spiegel Catalog (Chicago 60609!) for this award. Honest.OP by Trocadero: On the 4th of July, you will want to be ready if you see any teabaggers>>>>response #1 by Rowdyboyresponse #2 by 47of74DU Marketplace, June 15, 2009:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=213x5700OP by A HERETIC I AM: Pie chart that explains everything.response #25 by cascadianceresponse #17 by AtomicKittenresponse #18 by A HERETIC I AMresponse #19 by AtomicKittenresponse #30 by AwakeAtLastGD, June 18, 2009:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5878849On a thread by avaistheone1: The Greedy Old Party unveils their health plan for the country.response #5 by AndyAGDP, June 17, 2009:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8478607On a thread by Timefortruth: Who does Sen. Ensign look like?response #3 by Horse with no NameGD, June 17, 2009:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5870927