I worked in an abortion clinic.

[Blue_Roses]

After I graduated from college (in the early 80's) with a degree in Social Work, I took a counseling job at a medical clinic that performed pregnancy terminations. My job was to talk with the patients before the procedure to make sure they understood what the procedure entailed, if they were confident they were making the right decision for them (we made double sure NO one was forced into this by ANYONE or vice-versa), aftercare counseling and medical follow-up care. I have to say that this was an experience that I will always hold dear to me...I found that through KNOWLEDGE, CARING, and most of all those willing to put their reputation and LIFE on the line to do this for a woman in desperate need of help, gave me a profound sense of gratitude.

In the three years I worked there (I won't name the town or clinic for their protection), we had some very tumultuous times and there were some who didn't always know what they wanted to do when first entering the clinic, and those we sent home AFTER giving them information on alternatives. I've seen a twelve-year-old girl come in after being raped by her uncle, not knowing why she was getting "fat" as she explained it.

So, abortion isn't something that a woman wakes up and says, "oh, I think I'll go have an abortion today." NO. Quite the contrary. In fact, the care and concern that counselors, doctors and nurses give these woman is awesome. To hear so many misconstrued stories from fundies, and others who know NOTHING about abortion--other than what they've heard or believe to be true is very sad. I thought we had reached a milestone since the 80's where this was something more understood, but after yesterday, I see how hopelessly naive I can be.

RIP Dr. Tiller. You were appreciated!

[myrna minx]

1. K&R

Thank you. :hug:

[supernova]

2. Thanks for your willingness to help

:hug:


Forced-birthers do not, cannot understand the individual lives of women who need abortions.


and KnR!

[livetohike]

3. Thank you for this post

I volunteered at a free clinic (do they exist anymore?) in 1974-1976. My job was to greet and take preliminary info from patients. I would estimate that half of the patients I saw were pregnant teenage girls who were scared, misinformed and without resources. All of the staff were volunteers too and I met the most caring and compassionate doctors and nurses there.

[Neecy]

4. my sister had a similar experience

When she was in grad school (her degree was in psychology) she worked at her local Planned Parenthood doing the exact same job in the mid 1980's. Her experiences were very similar to yours and she knew that this wasn't a decision that women came to lightly. She often said that it was the most important job she'd ever had, because she felt that not only was she helping people truly in need but it gave her an understanding of why these services are so vital. She was a fierce pro-choice advocate for the rest of her life.

[peace13]

5. Thank you for this.

It is good to know that caring people are standing beside these women at such a hard time in their lives. I am convinced that many of the most violent protesters have in fact had a baby aborted (men and women). In some sick way they think they will be 'absolved' of their own decisions by protesting the rights of others. I know that my own sister had an abortion due to a complication with an IUD. Today she is a fearsome fundy who speaks out against abortion. I call that insanity!!

[monmouth]

6. Lovely post...K&R

[uppityperson]

7. k&r for very much speaking the truth

me too. My doc quit due to fear of these nutcases

[Downtown Hound]

8. Thanks for doing what you did

This day and age, working to provide this very important service is a dangerous thing. So much hate and ignorance out there, and yet there are those like you that risk their lives for others. That's what gives me hope in humanity.

[Blue_Roses]

9. the ironic thing is...

I really never thought of it as risking my life. A few months after I left, they had a shooting there. A mad ex was hunting down his girlfriend. We had some nutcases, but our supervisor always told us NOT to confront them or argue with them. That was REAL hard not to do at times because it got so tiring to see so many that were/are stuck on stupid! It's usually men who react so violently to this--and I'm not bashing men by no means, I just think there is a helplessness (or loss of control ) that they feel when it comes down to this decision.

[bunkerbuster1]

10. K&R. Hope more people see this. n/t.

[Hissyspit]

11. I hated the way it the process was mocked in "Juno."

The movie lost me at that point.

[Dogtown]

12. Thank you, for your post and your work.

K&R

[bdamomma]

13. thanks for your post.

[Wednesdays]

14. K&R

:kick:

[sonias]

15. Thanks for this report Blue_Roses

And thank you for the work you did. It was heartbreaking to hear about your 12 year old rape victim. :cry:.

Sonia

[Blue_Roses]

17. that was very heart-breaking, especially

when she came in smiling like nothing was wrong. She wasn't even aware that she was pregnant until the teacher mentioned something...social services got involved and it was a sad situation. The father (his brother was the one who raped her) was ready to kill his brother--literally, and the mom was a mess (as I would be too). The dad stayed with her and while he said he didn't believe in abortion, he was for it in this case. There were others that I knew--some from the church I had grown up in. When they saw it was me doing the counseling their eyes would get so big. I told them to not worry about confidentiality. My lips were sealed.

I had coached a little girls softball team while in college one summer and I remember seeing one of my girls come in a few years later. She was embarrassed and worried that I would be disappointed in her. After I reassured her she had nothing to worry about you could see her sad eyes somewhat relieved. Meanwhile, her mother was scolding her the entire time. :eyes: I really wanted to tell her to STFU!

Even though it's been twenty plus years, those memories come flooding back when something like this happens. Our clinic didn't do procedures past 18 weeks, but I still worried about our doctors.

[sonias]

20. Tragic story

So I take it the uncle never got reported for his crime. They kept the "secret" in the family.

I hope this young woman got more counseling as she grew older. There is no telling what kind of buried trauma she is still dealing with. Bless her.


Sonia

[proud2BlibKansan]

25. The clinic is required by law to report it

So I feel fairly certain our poster here did report the rape.

[Blue_Roses]

35. social services had already gotten involved first...

the teacher reported it.

[sonias]

37. I'm thankful for that

It would happen to someone else if the rapist did not get reported.

It is so unbelievable to me that a relative could do this to a child, but it is actually fairly common.

My heart goes out to every family that has to deal with this.

Sonia

[Chovexani]

16. Thank you so much for the work you did.

:hug:

[Mnemosyne]

18. Hear, hear, Blue_Roses. KnR for compassion and truth. n/t

[EFerrari]

19. My oldest son will have a birthday in July because a social worker at a clinic

talked to me calmly when I was in a terrible, 18 yr old, panic.

:hug:
:grouphug:

[Blue_Roses]

21. and that's another thing that many get wrong when abortion

is discussed with the MSM. Counselors, doctors, and nurses are there for you--the patient--to help you with YOUR decision, whatever it may be. Under NO circumstances did I, or anyone I work with, ever, EVER try to force, persuade or delude a patient into having the procedure. They were given all the possible choices and when they were undecided or leaning in another direction, we helped them with finding a resource that would work for them. I wish more people could see how much care goes into this choice.

[Raster]

30. This is why we are PRO-CHOICE. Not pro-abortion or some other false meme.

Pro-choice. That means that a woman has the right to make a choice. You made your choice and happy birthday to your son!

[Skittles]

22. the right uses bullshit like "abortion on demand", as if it's all impromptu

disgusting

[meowomon]

23. I also worked at women's clinics that provided abortions.

I remember a woman who was set up by her "friend" to be gang raped. I remember a woman who was getting married and couldn't be pregnant at the altar. When offered birth control after the abortion she replied, "Oh I can't. I'm Catholic." I remember the woman who at 46 years old, after raising a family and was starting college found herself to be pregnant. Her first thought was to commit suicide rather than tell her husband she was pregnant again. I remember the woman who wasn't sure she wanted an abortion, but her family and boyfriend wanted her to have one. After a counseling session, I gave her resources to help her if she chose to carry the pregnancy to term. I told her to think about it one more day. I told her if she returned that I would hold her hand through the procedure and be there for her. She didn't come back to the clinic. I remember the woman who told me that during her abortion she looked up at my face and saw the face of kindness and love. It helped her through one of the most horrible decisions she ever had to make.

I am proud of the work I did and the women and yes, the children that I helped.

My heart goes out to Dr. Tiller's family and friends. And believe it or not, to his murderer.

[Blue_Roses]

36. there were many situations that pulled on my heart strings...

and I know you can relate:) I think the hardest were the children who had been molested and had no idea what the hell was happening with their body.

[olegramps]

24. It seems to me that it is the men who are the most passionate about abortion.

I am married to Catholic, 44 years. I would suppose that I would list myself as an agnostic. I don't see how belief or non-belief in God really has much affect on how we conduct our lives. My wife and her sister in conversations about abortion have said that they wouldn't ever want to be faced with the decision but they felt that it could be necessary in some cases. Their attitude is dramatically different from their brother's who is a priest.

He is vehemently opposed to abortion. He asked me what I thought abortion and I can truthfully say that I don't have any opinion about it. I can not understand how any man could hold any opinion let along such strong convictions when it is impossible for them to have ever been put in the position. I have no idea how it would actually feel to be pregnant or be put in that situation.

For me this is totally a issue for women. It appears to me that men who are so vocal on the subject are in reality only attempting to control women. I have the same opinion about Catholic priests who are not married attempting to control the sex life of those who never aspire to be self made eunuchs. I actually consider these people to be abnormal since they are waring against the very nature that the God they so firmly believe has given them. It seems illogical to me that on the other hand the Catholic Church considers a person, who do to something beyond their control, was born a eunuch to be unworthy to be a priest and can not be ordained.

I have a similar opinion about people who are so adamant about not allowing people of the same sex to live together. They all loudly claim that they have never had any attraction to the same sex and how this is abnormal. It is analogous to the case of abortion in which those who are most vocal have never had the experience of being attracted to the same sex, yet have no problem judging its morality. It also astounds me how in the world this could this ever be threat their sacred institution of marriage? Seems to me that they should be more concerned about the high divorce rate of their fellow Christians as being a real threat to the institution of marriage, not alone to mention the tragic situation that they bring upon their children who they would have never considered to abort. Yet they have no problem putting their children, who they claim to hold so dear, through a devastating traumatic experience. I am afraid that their logic is beyond me at times.

[renate]

34. good and interesting point about those similar judgements

I hadn't thought about how similar the situations are--people feeling so strongly about a "moral" choice that will never affect them--but you're absolutely right. It's one thing to have an opinion, of course, but quite another to butt in on other people's lives, and to feel perfectly free to say "I would never... so nobody else should either" when there's no possibility of their ever being pregnant, or married to a person of the same gender, etc.

[hedgehog]

26. How ironic! A back street abortionist will ask no questions as long as the

money is on the table, while a legitimate clinic will.

[raccoon]

27. Great post. Recd. nt

[BlancheSplanchnik]

28. THIS is the kind of discussion that needs to get "out there" somehow....

I can only hope that Dr Tiller's death serves to help get the truth out in the face of bible based hate.

K & R for an excellent post=thread

[Raster]

29. Thank you for sharing your experiences. And thank you for being there .

No one is "pro-abortion". No one. However, the majority of Americans are "pro-choice."

[barbtries]

31. you know what gets me

judging by my own personal experience, at MINIMUM there must be at least one in ten of the anti-abortionists who have had an abortion, fathered an abortion, or forced a child to undergo an abortion. absolute hypocrites. immature hate-filled neurotic people who have to assume some sort of superiority over others in order to even pretend to a drop of self-esteem.

gawd i'd love to know the real numbers.

[quoddy woman]

32. abortion

Most women of childbearing age have no memory of what life was like in the "good old days." Many of my classmates "had" to get married" with predictable results. I read that Dr. Tiller wore a button saying "trust women." That seems to me to be the crux of the problem. It t speaks for itself that men (mostly) who would kill a man in cold blood, in church, cannot claim to have any respect for human life. When women cannot control their own bodies they cannot control their lives. This is what it's all about. Maybe those of us who remember need to educate the younger women about how it was for us.

[Deep13]

33. Thanks for performing an unpopular but extremely necessary service.

:hug: