Family Dumps Elderly Aunt, Goes To Disney

[UndertheOcean]

BRADENTON, Fla. -- Investigators say a North Carolina woman did not want her elderly aunt to go with her to Disney World so she dropped her off at a homeless shelter.

Officials say Beverly Edwards dropped off her aunt Ruth at a Salvation Army Center in Bradenton.

The fragile woman who has medical conditions was left with all of her belongings in trash bags, and her niece said she was not coming back to get her.

<SNIP>

"Do you have any intention of coming back for her?" asked Butler. "Oh, no, after we finish at Disney World we're going home. We can't take care of her anymore, I'm done," said Beverly Edwards, according to Butler.

..... ===> http://www.wftv.com/news/19536066/detail.html


Is there something in Florida's water ? it seems to affect visitors too.

[Kurovski]

1. The happiest place on earth!

Or some fucking thing...

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. Poor aunt beverly!

[Scurrilous]

3. "You've just abandoned your elderly aunt...

...what are you going to do next?"

"I'm going to Disney World!":woohoo:

[SammyWinstonJack]

47. .

:evilgrin:

[proud patriot]

59. .

:wow:

[LaurenG]

4. People have lost their sense of responsibilty to each other

I have so much I'd like to say about crap like this but I'll refrain and just say WTF. :mad:

[Ikonoklast]

5. Sounds like the poor woman will be better off with strangers.

Some people need instant Karma.

[villager]

6. More endearing red state "family values!"

n/t

[Island Blue]

15. North Carolina is now a blue state.

Just wanted to point that out for the record. I guess stupid, heartless people often do stupid, heartless things regardless of what color their state happens to be at the moment.

[villager]

23. well, you're right -- and two Demo ladies (Gov., Senate) to boot!

...to boot.

And certainly, blue California here is not exactly free of heartless or cruel behaviors...

...or even a Disney theme park.

Though I swear I've yet to hear of someone abandoning an elderly relative en route to Anaheim....!

;-)

[MineralMan]

7. Now, there are family values in action.

Old aunty is in the family's way? Well, take her to the pound, then.

I wonder who these folks voted for in November...

[azmouse]

8. Sounds like people who watch National Lampoon's Vacation too much.

This story has shades of that movie. Wally World here we come!

[no_hypocrisy]

9. I was thinking the exact same thing.

[slackmaster]

22. Isn't it fun having a twisted mind, and meeting other twisted minds on the Interwebs?

:hi:

[Kerrytravelers]

18. Great minds and all...

At least they didn't drop her off dead somewhere. Although, I'm sure they would if she's been all difficult and died on them. :sarcasm:

[surrealAmerican]

72. That would take this from being like National Lampoon's Vacation ...

... to being like Little Miss Sunshine.

This kind of stuff is funny in the movies; in real life, not so much.

[Kaleva]

52. Was going to say the same thing

It was funny in the movie but it's not so funny in real life.

[donco6]

68. That's the first thing I though - just from the headline. eom

[MineralMan]

10. Apparently Aunt Ruth has no appreciable assets to

leave this family. So...what good is she?

[lamp_shade]

11. Disposable senior citizens. This is making me cry.

[peace13]

12. I don't know anything about this woman or her family...but

I will say that taking care of an elderly relative can make you go bat *hit crazy. No excuses, it was an awful thing to do but we don't know what happened, we weren't there.

[Jim__]

14. Yeah, but ... heading to Disney World right after dumping the old lady?

[MineralMan]

26. Hmm...so you're asking for understanding for people

who dumped their aging aunt at the SA? WTF?

If they were not able to care for her any longer, then there are ways to get her in a care facility. The Salvation Army is not such a facility. She would qualify for residential care.

My wife and I moved across the country to help care for her father in his last years. Now, we're helping her mother, who is 81 years old. Is it trying sometimes? Sure. Is it our responsibility to do this? Yes, I think so.

My parents, who are still living and 85 years old have a son and daugher living in the same town, so they're covered.

No doubt, we made our own parents crazy when we were children. We're just paying back the debt we owe them.

There are ways of helping an aging aunt without taking her into your home, if that's not working out. Dumping her at the SA and taking for Disney World isn't one of them.

Absolutely no sympathy. None.

[malaise]

35. What a lovely post

and yes we owe them big time.

[peace13]

46. We don't all have the same skill set and we don't know the story.

No excuses for these people but we don't know about their lives. My history of taking care of people is varied in duration and intensity but I always had a money, job, food and housing while I was doing it and it still was very demanding. These folks that went to Disney, they have a problem. That being said, it doesn't do any good for us to beat our drum about how sweet we are and how awful someone we don't even know is.

[Warpy]

13. I wonder how long Aunt Ruth had been with them

While the story makes them seem totally heartless, I can't judge them because I've seen too many families crack under the strain of caring for an elderly relative with a lot of medical needs and few resources.

Caretaking is generally pushed off on women in this country and no one bothers to check how they're doing. Caretakers are out of sight, out of mind, unsupported, and uncompensated.

I hope Aunt Ruth finds a place where she can be cared for. I hope the family can find some peace with what they did. I hope someday this country recognizes that just because labor is unpaid, it's still essential and deserves support.

[Book Lover]

43. +1 on everything Warpy said here (nm)

[glitch]

16. Bad karma, look what she is modelling for her kids.

The homeless shelter should have said, see you in 40 years.

[begin_within]

17. I wanted to take my Mom with us to Disneyland on the day after Christmas,

but the rest of the family said no, she couldn't come along, because she would slow us down too much. She's 90 and in a wheelchair, and I would have stayed with her the whole time. They claimed that she wouldn't enjoy it because she wouldn't be able to go on any of the rides. But my Mom has loved Disneyland for the live music and the general atmosphere. I would have been happy seeing the park with her while the rest of the family went on the rides. But they said no. So I refused to go and we just went home while they went to Disneyland. I'm taking my Mom to Disneyland on Sept. 24 because it's her 91st birthday and you get in free on your birthday this year.

[robinlynne]

19. good for you. At least you know what is important.

[begin_within]

20. and yet they still haven't learned anything from it...

...I'm taking my Mom to Yosemite National Park in 2 weeks and I made it clear to all of them that they were all invited to go along with us, but none of them are...

[robinlynne]

29. how sad for them. They will be old, or disabled, or sick one day and have that much more

trouble dealing with it because they have not learned how to love others....

[begin_within]

50. I agree, and I can see it coming for them.

Yet I'm not in any position to preach to them about what they should and should not do. All I can do is the best I can do, and then hope for the best for me in my old age. They can make their on decisions now and then deal with the results later on.

[izquierdista]

27. You have a stupid family

Don't they know that if one person in the party is in a wheelchair, you go to the front of the line? Just how much time did they spend waiting?

[begin_within]

49. Good point, but that's the wrong reason for bringing her along.

They should bring her along because they love her and want to share the family activities with her, not to just use her as a human "fast-pass."

[izquierdista]

54. Wrong reasons can bring about right thinking

When we went, the younger son was being a bit of a pain, thinking that the older son (in the wheelchair) would slow us down. He had an attitude readjustment, without me having to lecture him one word. When the day was over, Disneyland's thinking had rubbed off on him and he no longer was ashamed to admit his brother was handicapped.

[suffragette]

37. You two will have an amazing time together.

I'm not the biggest Disneyland fan, but lived in Orange County for awhile so went there many times when family would visit.
My favorite visit is the time I went with my then husband, my sister, brother-in-law and mother.
My mother had quite a few medical issues and she used a wheelchair.

I applaud Disneyland for its accessibility and obvious employee training.
From the minute we entered and started walking down Main Street to the time we left, they made mom feel welcome.
First, a person dressed as a Bear sat in her lap and joked with her, then the Big Bad Wolf started pushing her chair. I can still see her startled, then happy expression after he tapped her on the shoulder. Still have great pics from that.

Some rides have separate entry points or stop so you can board. For example, we boarded the jungle boat at a separate dock before it goes on to pick up the rest of the passengers. Moving rides are stopped so you can board. That's how it worked at the Haunted House. Just ask and you'll be guided to the appropriate spot and assisted.
It seemed that half of the characters in the parade veered over to say hi to mom.

She was thrilled by the visit and I was happy to see her so joyous.

You and she will have such a great time. The rest of the family will have missed the best possible trip to Disneyland they could ever experience.

[begin_within]

51. I remember when I was a kid, they somehow got my grandmother onto the

"It's a Small World" boat. I think they brought a boat over to a different loading area, and we got in the boat and somehow they got her into it, but as it was about 40 years ago I don't remember the details of how they did it. They then brought the boat over to the main area and let other people fill up the empty seats. My grandmother was born with one leg shorter than the other and never walked very well in her life, and in her old age was essentially disabled. But "Small World" was her favorite ride and they did take extraordinary effort to get her onto it. This was about 1968 or 1969. I sure my Mom would not be interested at all in any of the thrill rides, but she might enjoy getting on to the Mark Twain steamboat and taking the trip around the river, or the main train that goes around the park, but her biggest delight is the entertainment and live music that pops up unexpectedly, the traveling musicians, etc.

[suffragette]

67. Looks like the Mark Twain is fully accessible

Found this for you:

http://disneyland.disney.go.com/disneyland/en_US/help/gsDetail?name=MobilityDisabilityGSDetailPage&bhcp=1

We went in the 80's and it was wonderful. They have paid a lot of attention to accessibility, so it all goes pretty smoothly.

And as I noted, the entertainers made a beeline toward mom throughout the park.

You will have so much fun!

[slackmaster]

21. That's almost the plot of National Lampoon's Vacation

Except the aunt (Imogene Coca) died while on the road and they dumped her at a relative's house in Arizona.

[Eric Condon]

24. Would you rather he slipped her into the night deposit box, Ellen? nt

[NYC_SKP]

25. They did the right thing. In the wrong way.

They realized that they were not going to provide a decent home for this woman, and they took action.

It was the wrong action, but others might have kept her and mistreated her, or worse.

If she has a SS check, they might have kept her just for that.

They might have gone to Disney and left her home.

They did a good thing by not keeping her in their unloving environment, but they did it in a fucked up way.

:patriot:

And all things Disney suck.

[omega minimo]

57. Okay but when did people get that fucking stupid?

[NYC_SKP]

61. One would hope that it's also been thus....

...but I fear stupids breed faster than others.

[omega minimo]

62. nah, that's a new kinda stupid.

[hfojvt]

28. kinda surprising that they ever took care of that aunt

my dad's aunt spent the last 5-6 years of her life alone in a nursing home and before that she lived alone for five years after her brother died. The last time I saw her was in June of 1984 and she spent much of that visit crying and wishing she could go home with us (and drooling too, she wasn't in very good physical shape). She died in 1991 and I don't think anybody even visited her between 1984 and 1991. At least family. I think she had some friend who wrote to my dad.

Looking back now I sorta regret not busting her out when I got a place of my own in the spring of 1986, but she was 1500 miles away, and I had my own problems.

I really think she just wanted to die and did not enjoy at all the seven extra years of life. Maybe if she had been part of a nephew's household and life, she would have had more purpose.

[MineralMan]

30. What I find incredibly sad are the people in nursing homes

who have family living in the area who never visit them. I've seen it so many times and just can't understand it at all.

I know it's difficult, even heart-wrenching, to see family members who are feeble and old and who may not even recognize you sometimes. But...still...

My FIL was in a nursing home for a while before he died. My wife and I and his wife were in there most of the time. I can tell you with absolute certainty that he got better care because we were there.

We brought him home near the end, where we had round the clock nursing care, plus hospice care. Someone, either his wife, or my wife, or myself, was by his side around the clock as well. His passing was quiet and non-traumatic.

I just cannot imagine how unvisited nursing home patients feel. I can't imagine how their families can stand not to give their support in person, especially if they live right there.

Sometimes I don't like people very much.

[timtom]

31. Don't be silly.

That was a tarheel that done tha.

[nichomachus]

32. What I find weird about this story

is that if you're coming from NC, Bradenton is about 100+ miles past Disney. You would think if they were driving from NC to Disney, they would have dumped her somewhere enroute.

There's something the story's not telling us.

[bahrbearian]

33. WWMMD

What Would Mickey Mouse Do

[ejpoeta]

34. i hope this family thinks long and hard. because there will come a day

when they need their family to help, and they will be kicked to the curb. karma is a bitch. i couldn't imagine doing that to anyone, much less a family member!!

[JVS]

36. I advocate the application of capital punishment in this case

[Mythsaje]

38. Or at least corporal punishment...

Maybe a prescription for a good ass-kicking is in order?

[Ex Lurker]

39. obviously the pressure of this imploding economy made them do it

:sarcasm:

[struggle4progress]

40. 96-year-old woman recovering; guardian plans to seek charges

By DUANE MARSTELLER - [e-mail]

BRADENTON — ... Ruth A. Smith was well enough to request and eat a favorite meal — roast beef on brown bread with mayonnaise, said M. Ashley Butler of Aging Safely Inc., her court-appointed guardian ...

The niece, Beverly Edwards of Arden, N.C., says she had made prior arrangements to leave her aunt with the Salvation Army until she could be placed in an assisted-living facility. But Butler says no such arrangements were made and that Edwards “dumped” her aunt with no plans of returning for her.

Butler said she plans to pursue criminal charges in the case, but none had been filed as of Thursday.

A judge appointed Butler, whose agency is the public guardian in Manatee County, as Smith’s temporary guardian during an emergency court hearing Wednesday. The same day, Smith was admitted to Manatee Memorial ... http://www.bradenton.com/847/story/1457512.html

[D-Lee]

66. Thanks for the update! nt

[zorahopkins]

41. Imogene Coca?

Aunt Edna.

The Griswolds.

En Route to WallyWorld.

[underpants]

71. That is exactly what I thought of too

[astonamous]

42. Is this Christian values?

Isn't their a Bible verse that says something along the lines of how we treat the least of us? I always thought it meant taking care of those that are unable to care for themselves, treating every living being with respect and giving a helping hand when one is needed.

Animal rescuers and shelter workers see this "dumping" thing happen all the time to family pets. Excuses range from the ridiculous to the more ridiculous. The saddest ones are the really old dogs that are dumped into the shelter where they don't stand a chance of being adopted.

[Enrique]

44. is it like donating to Goodwill?

can someone go there and buy the aunt?

[Javaman]

45. one day this cretin will be as old as her aunt and no doubt, her children will treat her the same.

Karma sometimes takes time.

[DarbyUSMC]

48. This would be my guess:

Aunt Ruth is a complaining, nagging, never ending problem and by the time they got to Bradenton, they'd had it and gave her an ultimatum....... be quiet, say nothing, don't complain about one more thing or we let you off at the Salvation Army. And then they did it.

Just a guess....... http://www.hulu.com/watch/348/st-elsewhere-pilot

[Canuckistanian]

53. Somehow, I don't think Disney is going to do a commercial about this

Just a hunch.

[UndertheOcean]

55. true . n/t

[Kaleva]

58. It would be one everyone would remember though

[omega minimo]

56. So they let just ANYONE into Disneyand?

:crazy: :freak:

[santamargarita]

60. I bet she took her aunt's Social Security Check to Disneyland

:shrug:

[BR_Parkway]

63. Did they drive her all the way to FL before dumping to make sure she

couldn't find her way home?

[Jennicut]

64. My parents and I took my 85 year old Grandma on a cruise with us. Pathetic people.

She had a great time too.

[Stevenmarc]

65. Now if they took a Disney cruise they could have pushed her overboard and sued Disney

People just don't think things out

[cap]

69. There is a larger story in this screwed up mess

Kind of like the Andrea what's her name who had way too many kids and went off the deep end and killed them all.

Not trying to drum up pity for people doing the wrong thing, but there are way too many caregivers at the end of their ropes. This country's social net is being glued together by middle aged women. We don't have a working system for elder care. Elder care revolves around event driven crises. Their needs often times can not be planned for. Their health conditions are complex and interrelated which means you need someone around who understands every nuance of a change.

Middle aged women are forced into taking the slow track for work so that they can have the flexibility to take care of their loved one. If they were to just drop off their elder like this woman did, their loved one would be in a pickle. With the economy in the toilet, no one has the extra money to pay for housecleaning, meal prep, transportation (doctor's appointments are a major time suck), respite care, etc. Senior services are being cut across the board. Just try to use the county's senior transport. You can't book it within a week. Never mind, women are getting scared about losing their jobs because they have to take time off to deal with their elder's issues. On top of that, this also leads to a decrease in that woman's ability to save for her own retirement. Inflation will kick in soon and families will need the extra income from a woman's salary to make ends meet. (I wont even get into the burden placed on middle aged women when their single parent offspring move back in with them).

The old system could work with the women sharing the duties and taking the slow track because women's retirement was funded by their husband's pension and the sale of their home. Remove the pension and/or remove the husband and women are setting themselves up for a disaster in their own future.

The elderly used to only live a few years in retirement before their death; now, they live decades. None of us are really prepared for this. I have calculated that my 89 year old mother in law with a pension of 3K/month has received well over 700K in income from her retirement alone. She also had a chunk of savings of about 200K and a house. I don't know anyone in my current generation who is depending on a 401K that will have 900K in assets in addition to their house. Most people have less than 100K. We can't all work until we drop. I dont know what my elderly mother in law could do for a living. She just doesn't have the stamina. I don't think the elderly woman in the story could work or should for that matter.

On the other hand, who, in their right minds, would want to abandon their elderly relative? Our elders are vulnerable. Left to the mercy of strained social services, they will die a slow, lingering, painful death in squalor. They can be dependent on unkind children and end their lives in suffering and misery. We are all trying very hard not to end up in this situation. I think the caregiver just had had enough (rightly or wrongly) and blew her stack in a completely irresponsible manner. There's no back up these days except if a family functions cohesively. Social services is just too much of a patchwork to manage the complex set of conditions facing the elderly. Even managing social services is a major time suck.

I don't know the answer to this mess. I know no one knows the details of what is going on with their elder like a family member and no one's heart breaks more than to see their family member in a bad situation. But the current way we have of doing business just doesn't work. We will see more stories like this as the economy worsens.

[ShortnFiery]

70. Just reading the headline word "dumps" gave me a flashback to the flick "Vacation"

Poor Aunt Edna. :silly: