Jesus testifies at Congressional Hearing - OKs torture

[NewJeffCT]

Jesus testifies at Congressional Hearing - OKs torture

Today on Capital Hill, Jesus Christ Our Lord testified on behalf of White, Protestant evangelicals in support of the Bush Administration's torture policies. Coming on the heels of the release of the "Bybee Memo," also known as the "Torture Memo," Christ's appearance before Congress today to express his full approval of Bybee's findings in Re: Standards of Conduct for Interrogation under 18 U.S.C. §§2340-2340A.<1><3> was welcomed by beleagured religious nuts across America.

The Bybee Memo defined torture as "acts inflicting...severe pain or suffering, whether mental or physical." The memo further stated that said physical pain "must be equivalent in intensity to the pain accompanying serious physical injury, such as organ failure, impairment of bodily function, or even death." Mental pain "must result in significant psychological harm of significant duration, e.g., lasting for months or even years...".

Jesus Christ, wearing flowing white robes and sporting a halo, first cited a recent report by the Pew Research Center (link to news story above), America's leading relgious research center, which found that six out of every ten white, protestant evangelicals supported the use of torture. White, Protestant evangelicals supported torture in greater numbers than any other single religious group in America.


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[Towlie]

1. Of course! Why do you think the day Jesus was tortured to death is called "Good Friday"?

[Soylent Brice]

4. !!!

:rofl:

[Cyrano]

2. He's lucky he didn't testify while Bush and Cheney were still in power.

After all, crucifixion is no longer considered torture. It's just a way to get some fanatical do-gooder to see the light.

[jeff30997]

3. He also said:

"All the whipping and crucifixion stuff was just a little frat prank."

[NewJeffCT]

5. and, it was just a few bad apples

but, if torture was okay, why were the people doing it a few bad apples?

[jeff30997]

7. Good question. n/t

[FiveGoodMen]

6. It was bound to happen. All of his representatives have been telling us this for years.