2012 Republican National Convention

[kpete]

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“If I told them once, I told them a thousand times: 'Republicans' first, 'Puppet Show' second...”

http://driftglass.blogspot.com/2009/05/2012-republican-national-convention.html

[TechBear_Seattle]

1. Isn't that redundant? n/t

[jazzjunkysue]

2. You obviously haven't been to Disney World.

[derby378]

3. 2012 RNC Schedule

6:00 Opening Prayer led by Pastor Rick Warren
6:30 Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 Ceremonial Teabagging of Bill of Rights
6:45 Salute to black Republicans
6:46 Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?"
7:30 Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Condoleezza Rice
7:35 Seminar #2: Rick Santorum on "The Threat of Man-on-Dog Relations"
7:40 EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner
8:00 Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 Blame Obama
8:30 Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 Seminar #3: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 "Let the Eagle Soar" sung by John Ashcroft (accompanied by Sarah Palin on flute)
9:05 Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"
9:10 Steel cage match between Phyllis Schlafly and Sarah Palin (proceeds to benefit George W. Bush Legal Defense Fund)
9:30 Break for secret meetings
10:00 Second Prayer led by G. Gordon Liddy
10:15 Seminar #4: Karl Rove on "Doublespeak Made Simple"
10:30 Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration on Waterboarding
10:35 Blame Obama
10:40 Secession Workshop led by Rick Perry
10:46 Ann Coulter's Tribute to "Joe McCarthy, Great American Patriot" (accompanied by Ben Stein on kazoo)
10:50 Seminar #5: Bobby Jindal on "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"
11:10 Hillary Clinton Pinata
11:20 Sing Along with Joe the Plumber
11:30 Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 Blame Obama
11:40 Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"
11:50 Mass Wedding conducted by Sun Myung Moon
12:00 Nomination of Sarah Palin as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord