Bizarre satire piece at Townhall.com.....

[SacredCow]

Grandpa, what were churches like?
by Phil Harris

http://townhall.com/columnists/PhilHarris/2009/02/28/grandpa,_what_were_churches_like?page=full&comments=true

“Please Grandpa,” pleaded Max, “tell me some more about the old days.”

John peered over his notepad to see the face of his curly-haired Grandson, “Okay little man,” his eyes quickly scanned the room before he continued, “jump on up here and sit next to me.”

“Timmy’s dads said you are a sad old relic from the dark ages,” said Max. “Why are you sad Grandpa?”

“They said that?” He could feel an angry flush creeping up his neck. “I am sad, Maxy, but that isn’t what they meant.”

“What did they mean, Grandpa? Why are you sad?”

“I’m sad because I remember a time when freedom meant so much more than it does today.” John continued, “A time before the change.”

“You mean, before the Leader and his people?” asked Max.

“Yes.”

“But, the change was good Grandpa,” replied Max, “just like it says by the statues at school.”

“Those statues are an abomination,” answered John, “and I don’t mind telling you that the change was not good.”

“But Grandpa… the statues of Mother Pelosi, Father Frank, and Father Reid looking up at the Leader all look very happy,” insisted Max.

________


And so it goes.... As you can imagine, the gestapo break down the door and arrest grandpa John, all thanks to the "Leader."

:eyes: I've read this same essay a billion times, from a billion different angles...

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

1. Wow.......when do they start offing themselves over there?

Hopefully, soon.

[47of74]

2. How much Oxycontin did it take to come up with a story like that?

[Richardo]

3. It's a Jack Chick tract without the fantastic artwork

:-|

[sufrommich]

4. It reads like a 10 year olds idea of scary science fiction.

What is it with rabid right wingers having to break everything down to a simplistic Paul Harveyesque story?

[theblasmo]

11. Well...

Because they might have to think about issues, instead of having knee-jerk responses to anything slightly different. Maybe having them think about stuff will keep them from trying to add Reagan's face to Mount Rushmore, like they try to do every year.

[YOY]

5. My god...will they ever stop this shit? They've had enough proof that this won't ever happen.

I didn't grow up in a place where everyone was talking about religion all the fucking time. It was a person thing. Since the glorious Reagan Revolution we've got to have religion as some fucking corner stone of right wing jacking off or else some communist nightmare dreamed up by imbeciles will happen.

No middle ground to right wingers. No fucking reality.

[TahitiNut]

10. They'd probably be quick to remind you of FATHER Drinan, REVEREND Abernathy, REVEREND King, and

... the Southern CHRISTIAN Leadership Conference. :shrug:

Let's be clear ... religion has ALWAYS been employed by all sides in political strife. When school desegregation hit the south, it was the "church schools" that became a 'refuge' for bigots.

[YOY]

12. But in the north where I'm from...nada from either side.

I remember distinctly, it wasn't a big deal. I remember people making fun of the televangelists in the North...even if they had no scandals...just as if they were some funny reminder of out podunk cousins.

[Mrs. Overall]

6. Why does living in an equal, sustainable, responsible society scare the shit out of them?

Why are they so afraid of Democrats that they have to create these over-the-top scenarios?

[jpgray]

7. Ayn Rand just turned over in her grave and lit a cigarette

And when your work would embarrass Ayn Rand, it must needs embarrass us all. :rofl:

[TahitiNut]

8. Of logs, motes, and eyes ... the projection is truly psychotic.

They have feces smeared on their upper lips and claim others smell like shit.

[RandomThoughts]

9. Notice the structure.

Absolutly no information as to why something should be bad or good, no thought on why to decide on which group is actually bad. What it does have is emotional symbolism meant to spark a feeling.

Symbolism backed up with zero thought.

[Kali]

13. ...

:puke:

all they can do is project

[Stevenmarc]

14. Apparently a statue of Father Rush toppled and hit them in the head

[originalpckelly]

15. As we all know, it's religion that has been persecuted by atheists/agnostics throughout history...

not the other way around.

:eyes:

[OneBlueSky]

16. what a crock of shit . . . someone actually spent time writing this? . . . n/t

.

[gratuitous]

17. Now, instead of watching television

Television watches us!

Townhall should probably expect a phone call from Yakov Smirnoff's lawyers any minute now.