I had to block my own brother on Facebook

[Harry Monroe]

Sad but true. He is a right wing hard core Repuke and for years have been bickering back and forth. I joined Facebook 3 months purely for the social aspect and reconnecting with old grade school, high school, college and old work and social related friends who I have lost touch with over the years. It has been great and not once has anyone who I added as a "friend" ever taunted or baited me because of my personal profile. And, may I add, quite a few of them describe their political beliefs as "Conservative" or "Republican Party". That does not matter to me; I joined simply to reconnect in a social online setting. Until yesterday. Imagine my surprise when I noticed that my brother wanted to invite me as a "friend". Thinking this may be a huge mistake (I said as much to my son), I accepted his invitation. Well, his first wall post was filled with taunts and ridicule because I described myself as a "moderate democrat". I won't go into the details of the wall post, but I immediately "uninvited" him as a "friend". This morning he sends me a message in my inbox, whining "WHY did you delete me as a friend?", to which I simply replied "You're smart, you'll figure it out". To which he then messaged me "I know why. Can't you take some ribbing? My watch partner could not believe you put that comment about America on your page either! He is GONE can't you liberals let it go!" (This was in response to this comment in my profile:

"Dear World:
The United States of America, your quality supplier of the Ideals of Liberty
and Democracy, apologizes for its 2001 - 2008 service outage"

I then sent him this message:

"****, I joined facebook 3 months purely for the social aspect of reconnecting with long lost friends. I have no intention of using the site to discuss politics and each person's page is a reflection of his/her personal beliefs. I have absolutely no desire to discuss politics with you and I absolutely was not going to start especially with YOU. No one else has discussed and/or commented on my personal feelings or beliefs and I haven't done this with anyone else, though quite a few of my facebook friends describe themselves as "conservative" or "Republican Party". Leave it and let it go. I did not invite you as a "friend" to discuss or argue politics and political beliefs, but simply as a family member. Since your first post was more of the same crap we have been doing for years (and for the record, I have long ago decided not to discuss politics with others in these types of forums), I uninvited you as a "friend". You're welcome to call or e-mail me at any time, but know that I will not discuss politics with you any longer and will not reply to any of your taunting and baiting"

Sad, but I have had enough. I have decided not to be baited by this asshole any longer. If he wants to pretend that we are still 10 years old, so be it. I then took the step of totally blocking him. I may also have to block his e-mail address so I do not receive any more bullshit from him.

Has anyone else had any problems like this with family members? I hate to have taken these drastic steps, but I no longer wish to listen to his drivel and stupidity. I do not have the time or patience for any of this.

Sorry for the long rant, but just had to vent!!

[WillParkinson]

1. You did the smart thing...

Best way to attempt to keep the peace.

[Harry Monroe]

2. Thanks, but I'm about to declare that he's "dead to me"

I don't really wish to, but it may come to this. I just don't have the energy to waste on him. I'm trying to eliminate quite a bit of stress from my life and I may have to just totally try to forget he even exists!!

[juno jones]

19. I have a sister like that.

I haven't talked to her in years because she makes my blood pressure rise dangerously. I avoid politics around her, but she just can't help bring it up and driving it home.

It doesn't bother me much that we don't talk because we were never close as children, but it seems to drive the family bonkers. From time to time I get this plea to become friends with her (or something), like there's a fat chance that I will ever tolerate her spew.

Sometimes you gotta vote for sanity, good luck with it all.

[Harry Monroe]

26. Ironically, my brother and I were close as children

And that's what bothers me.

[juno jones]

29. It would me too.

I have another sis I'm close too. We are similar politically, but not socially, and just jive on a deeper level.

I'm sorry to hear that. It hurts to lose family.

[Donnachaidh]

3. Had the same problem with a close associate

We had been friends for years on several mailing lists. We had even swapped snail addresses. But he really started to get shitty, especially after the 2004 election. I finally had enough, and blocked his email, after explaining that I wasn't going to sit through more garbage about how the pukes were running the country so much better.

He even tried to contact me on a seldom-used email. I didn't respond, because I'd had it with his BS right up to my ears.

[aikoaiko]

4. To be a friend one must act as a friend.

If you are going to make political statements on your facebook page (i.e., Dear World, Sorry) I think you should expect commentary. If the commentary from your "friends" is not friendly, then you're free and right to delete them as you see fit.

[Harry Monroe]

6. I quite agree but other friends have some RW comments on their page

And I have not seen one snarky comment by my Democratic friends. We are all trying to keep it civil, especially since most of us have not seen each other in ages. I intend to keep it free of politics. I have a large family and he is the only member who tries to bait me as such. He is an older brother by 2 years and a lot of "sibling rivalry" comes into play here. But I did not invite him to play politics. I simply think the profile and info pages are a reflection of who you are and I accept my facebook "friends" for what they describe themselves to be; I'm not prejudging anyone. My brother OTOH, well lets just say family dynamics are at play here. You're right, he's not acting as a "friend" and I believe I did the right thing. It still feels bad, however, to have it come to this, but I feel it is his fault, not mine.

[aikoaiko]

14. I agree too, If your brother or anyone else doesn't act as a friend, then delete

[Monk06]

5. Your brother is not acting like a brother should act, which is to love you as a brother

regardless of issues upon which you disagree.

I assume he is older than you because he seems
to be a bully with some serious anger issues.

[Harry Monroe]

8. You've described him exactly!!

[Monk06]

17. Send this to your brother. It's a spoof of Dark Knight

You are the Joker and he is the Batman

See if he gets the joke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=CA&hl=en&v=TjBOTT0tr84&feature=related

[Harry Monroe]

18. Hilarious!! But he won't get the joke.

He is that dense.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

7. Just out of curiosity... which of you is the older brother? And >>>

>>>do you have any older or younger sibs?

[Harry Monroe]

9. He's the older brother by 2 years

I also have a younger brother (who is also RW, but he and I have a pact not to discuss politics. I get along real well with him). I also have 4 sisters. Large Catholic family. My parents, apparently, took the Catholic Church's doctrine on the rhythm method quite seriously!!

[Harry Monroe]

12. To further answer your question, one older sister and 3 younger sisters

And politics never come up with them. I guess politics is just another way of acting out sibling rivalries especially when an older brother wishes to harass a younger brother. Sad though, I am 47 and he is 49, but I think he still believes I am 10 and he is 12!! He does have anger issues as well.

[nancyr]

10. Lord, yes.

My oldest brother is a right-wing Republican, evangelical fundamentalist. We can't discuss anything important anymore. Luckily, we live half a continent away from each other. He's a puzzle to me...and I to him.

[Harry Monroe]

13. And my brother has been a puzzle to me for 25 years now

Especially considering that both my mother and father are lifelong Democrats and have always despised Republicans. As they say "he wasn't brought up this way!". When we were teenagers he was quite liberal in his thinking. Maybe he had a brain transplant along the way or something he hasn't told me about!!

[YOY]

11. At times I am thankful that despite the fact we do not always get along.

My siblings and I are 4 very different Democrats.

[JSK]

15. Good thing he can't see my page

I use it like a mini-blog; it's loaded with leftie stuff. Thankfully, I have NO friends or family who aren't of like thinking. I really feel for those of you who do.

[sybylla]

16. I did it with a sil who was really more of a friend some time ago

She was never particularly in my face about her religion and politics and we got along pretty well. We started our friendship by agreeing that we would never agree on those two things and that we should just probably not talk about it. But that wasn't good enough for her. Over time her actions and snarky comments built themselves from a molehill into a mountain and I said enough.

Truthfully, it was the best thing I ever did. I didn't need all the BS in my life. No one does. I hadn't realized until she was out of my life how poisonous her presence had been.

Trust me. It feels crappy at first. It's something no one ever wants to do. But there will come a day when you will realize you should have done it years ago.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

20. Thank God my brother has changed his stripes.

In his late twenties, early thirties, he bought right into the anti-abortion Catholic, Rush is right philosophy. But after Bush, he hates the Republicans more than I do. We always fight about sports, so thankfully he turned on this issue.

[Morrisons Ghost]

21. You said

you don't want to discuss politics on facebook and then you put this statement '"Dear World:
The United States of America, your quality supplier of the Ideals of Liberty
and Democracy, apologizes for its 2001 - 2008 service outage" in your profile? Weren't you guilty of the same thing you accused your brother of doing? Taunting the other side?

[DisgustipatedinCA]

23. taunting?

A profile is there for all or some to see. A message is unicast from one person to another, directly. Do you really not see the difference?

[Harry Monroe]

25. Furthermore, I believe if something in my profile offends you that much

and it angers you so much, then don't accept me as a "friend". End of discussion.

[Harry Monroe]

24. I "taunted" no one

I truly believe in that statement. The "other side" can take it or leave it. Some of my RW facebook friends have quotations I do not agree with on their profile page as well. The profile is what it is; what you believe. I can accept or reject them as friends and so far absolutely no one "on the other side" has taunted me or baited me with the exception of my brother.

[Lex]

22. I too have re-connected with old, dear friends who, from reading their info page,

are conservatives and/or deeply steeped in religion. They don't come to my wall or post nasty freeper things, even though they can tell my politics if they read my info page.

If one did, I'd block them from writing on my wall or seeing my updates/pictures/other information in a second. There's a way to basically keep one as a friend but totally cut off their ability to interact with you.

You did the right thing.

[Highway61]

27. My brother

a pure numb-skull. I remember the first time my husband met him...hubby said that Gore won the election not Bush. My brother said, now I quote you, "not if you don't count the black votes."
So help me God. So he asks hubby who he voted for of course he said Gore...My brother said "your gonna have to explain that to me." My husband stood one inch from his face and said "I don't have to explain anything to you, I am a New England blue, Kennedy loving, Boston educated democrat and I am your worst nightmare and BTW YOU are a chowder-head!"

Haven't seen or spoke to him since...good riddance to toxic people. Oh, and by the way my brother is 49 years old and NEVER, to this day, has or had a job. I have a sister who is just as bad. I just can't be around that much hate and ignorance.

[Veritas_et_Aequitas]

28. Thanks for reminding me to delete my facebook account. nt