I can't fake it anymore. My father is dying and I have nothing positive to post.

[Mike 03]

Except I'm so thankful to my friends here who have been helping me through this difficult time. I owe you folks so much, more than I could ever, ever repay you in a hundred years.

Thank you for sticking with me during this time, and I can never repay you for your kindness.

Just: Thanks.

[BlooInBloo]

1. :( I'm sorry.

[Jackpine Radical]

2. My deepest sympathy.

I lost both parents before I turned 22. I really do know how you must be feeling.

[shraby]

3. We're all here for you.

:grouphug:

[Binka]

4. Oh Mike

Warm Hugs and Thoughts of love and laughter with your Dear Dad.

[catnhatnh]

56. Binka-Great to see you...

I hope Ben is well.

[Binka]

82. Ben Is Great He Took Up Skydiving After Iraq

And is now an instructor in Perris CA. People that can afford to skydive aren't really hurt by the down turn in the economy. He is doing remarkably well after all the shit he went through. Thanks for asking. :loveya:

[Cerridwen]

5. Sorry Mike.

Difficult time. No words.

:hug:

[NC_Nurse]

6. I'm sorry. May his passing be peaceful and may you find comfort in that.

:hug:

[ogneopasno]

7. It's been coming through in your words. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[City Lights]

8. I'm so sorry, Mike.

:-( :hug:

Hang in there.

[JeffR]

9. Damn, I'm very sorry.

It's a real deep hurt, I know. It sounds so trite to say this at such a time, but try to take care of yourself the way he'd no doubt want to take care of you right now if he could.

[Gormy Cuss]

10. I've been in similar shoes.

I remember feeling so helpless watching a parent go through the progression to death. It's not something I like to remember very often but I am glad that I had some time to say goodbye.

I will keep you in my thoughts, Mike 03, and hope for a death without protracted pain for your father.
Peace to you both.

[eShirl]

11. **hugs**

[mecherosegarden]

12. I am sorry!

Sending hugs your way!

:hug:

[malaise]

13. Been there Mike 03

It's very painful, but spend as much time as you can with him. We all have to bury our parents. The good news is that after they die and we mourn, we are flooded with memories of the good times. What's more parents never die - we hear their words of advice, remember the wonderful times we had with them and recall their jokes and idiosyncrasies for the rest of our lives.

:grouphug:

[stubtoe]

78. Truer words were never spoken. n/t

[devilgrrl]

14. I am so sorry about your dad.

:hug:

[peacebird]

15. So sorry - my dad passed 20 years ago March 30

He had cancer. He called his doc for a backache and was given an appt the following Monday. By Monday mom had to help him get dressed. He died three weeks later. I was there for the last two weeks.

I still miss him.

Mike 03 - I am sorry, and I think I understand your situation. I hope your dad passes peacefully.

[Sheepshank]

16. crap!

I'm so sorry, my sincerest sympathies to you.

[midnight]

17. This is indeed a sad experience. My father died when I was

a young adult. Just post what you want, and it does not have to be anything that makes a positive mark either. The last Christmas I spent with my father, he let me know he was dying. He died several months later the day before father's day.

[sammythecat]

18. If it's true the good die young

I figure it's to spare them the pain of loss the rest of us suffer as we get older.

I'm sorry you have this pain.

[renate]

19. I'm so sorry

You wish you could take away his pain, and we wish we could take away yours. :hug:

I'm sure he's comforted by your love... don't underestimate what that means to him. This is a time in his life when he starts to think about what it's all been about, and your love is a big part of the answer.

[Binka]

20. Another Post Mike

My Dad and I have butted heads for the 50 years I have been on this planet. He and I well, we're just so much alike but as we aged we just got so damn tight. He is 79 now soon to be 80 and I weep just thinking of losing him. I cried reading your post and want you to know I understand. Hang tight my friend.

[cliffordu]

21. Hugs to you, my friend.

[leftyclimber]

22. Mike, you are a ray of light here.

Do what you need to do. Say what you need to say. Vent what you need to vent. Don't worry about faking anything. Just be you. It's okay to do that. We are here for you. :hug:

[JohnnyLib2]

23. He's raised a caring son.

Must be a good man. May his path be peaceful.

[UrbScotty]

24. (((((Mike)))))

:hug:

[Mojorabbit]

25. My Pop

passed on two years ago last month. It was the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. I miss him every day. My heart goes out to you.

[annabanana]

26. Oh dear, Mike, I'm so sorry. .

Even knowing that words are insufficient.. I have haunted pages of poetry looking for some small token of warmth & relief for you. I wish I had the gift of solace. My heart is with you and your family in these hard hard days.

[readmoreoften]

27. I'm so sorry, Mike. You're a great guy.

You should let your dad know that he must be a pretty great guy himself to have helped create such a great person.

[tularetom]

28. I feel bad that there isn't more I can do for you

besides wishing you the best and a peaceful passing for your dad.

I lost both my parents within a month of each other in 2003. Mom to lung cancer and dad to complications from diabetes. Both were in their late 80's so there were no surprises. The reason I bring this up is to urge you, if you haven't done so already, to reestablish or strengthen, bonds with your siblings or other family members. My brother and I are the only ones left now, and we've grown much closer since our parents died.

[pacalo]

29. It's very hard, isn't it, dear.

I remember your post yesterday in admiration for those who were able to bare their souls by writing about their problems, & now I understand.

I'm so sorry for your dad & what you're feeling. I went through it in 1982.

:hug:

[Muttocracy]

30. so sorry

I'm not good with words, but for what it's worth, a virtual hug

:hug:

[corpseratemedia]

31. It's hard..

it's a hard time, this time you are going through. I didn't have much support then. I hope you have people surrounding you now who can understand and be there for you, and your father.

[lonestarnot]

32. Oh no. I am so sorry Mike 03.

:hug: :grouphug: Praying for you and your family. :hug:

[janx]

33. This must be a terrible time for you--I remember it.

Both of my parents are dead, but I remember them almost daily. I wonder what they would advise me to do. They are still very much with me in that respect.

:hug:

And by the way...Every time I see a crocus poking up at this time of year, I remember and miss my mother. One of my earliest memories is that of my mother teaching me how to plant those bulbs. They're the earliest bulbs to emerge in spring, and they often come up in the snow.

[elizfeelinggreat]

34. I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time

I wish you and your father peace.
You don't need to be positive all the time. :hug:

[Fire1]

35. Mike, I know. I've been there. It'll be rough for a while. My

prayers and thoughts are with you.

[goclark]

36. We are with you

:cry:

[tnlefty]

37. !!!!!!

Just lots of :hug:s, :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Mira]

38. It's like living under a blanket of pain, I know. And I feel it with you, Mike03.

Pick up a foot at a time and lay it down, as Maya Angelou says, and make your way through it.
I am sending white light and good vibes your way.

[TBF]

39. I'm very sorry, Mike 03. n/t

[NewtonsAve]

40. Energies and prayers of me and mine

are headed out to you, m'friend. I know it might not do anything, but we all need any help we can get nowadays. Best wishes, mate.

[applegrove]

41. I'm really sorry Mike. Vibes to your dad.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

42. ((((Mike 03))))

:cry:


:hug:

[omega minimo]

49. draughting on your ((((((((((((( vibes )))))))))))))))

:grouphug:

[amitten]

43. I'm so so sorry.

PM me anytime you need to talk.

[TuxedoKat]

44. I'm so sorry...

I just posted a message to you in response to another post you made. I didn't know your father was so ill. Hugs and prayers to you and yours.

[FedUpWithIt All]

45. ...

:hug:

I'm sorry.

[The Unknown Derelict]

46. I know it's not easy...keep your head up friend...

I know what your going through, and it was one of the hardest things ever. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Mz Pip]

47. I am so sorry

Losing a parent is so hard.

Be there for him and take care.

[AllentownJake]

48. My Father died 2 years ago

You'll be in my prayers.

[Jennicut]

50. Hang in there Mike.

My own Mom lost both of her parents by the time she was 25. My grandfather died getting bypass surgery and my grandmother died soon after from a stroke. I never even got to meet them as they both died before I was born. Every time my Mom talks about it its painful for her and its been over 35 years. There is no easy way to get through something like this. Our prayers and thoughts are with you.

[buzzard]

51. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through, I lost both my MIL and FIL in the last couple of

years and as hard as I felt it my husband was beside himself with grief, it was only time that helped lessen the pain and allowed us to remember our many happy days with them. Hugs to you and take care of yourself.

[ConcernedCanuk]

52. My father died at the age of 95 in the summer of 2007 - I was devastated

.
.
.

I only remember him raising his voice in anger twice in my whole life

and we deserved it

He was such a decent man

It's taken me over a year to get over the loss - it's just something we have to go through

I'll never be totally over the loss

But that's good

because that means he really made a positive impact on my life

and I'll miss him until the day I die

sort of a "feel nice" pain

if that makes any sense

. . . . .

[MrMickeysMom]

53. You don't have to post anything positive... we're here for you

I don't know you well, but have read your posts Mike 03. I lost my dad at age 9, and my mom at age 93 just a few years ago.

Love got me by, that time, hard as it was seeing it happen... That, and time, I think. :hug:
I'm sure you've told him how much you love him. You are surely loved by him and always will be.


:grouphug:

[nadinbrzezinski]

54. Mike hugs

My sympathies

We are a weird community I know

[AZBlue]

55. I'm so sorry!

:(

[catnhatnh]

57. Michael...It's one more passage.

He held you as an infant and praised you as you first walked. And at each of your passages he was there. The decades pass by and if you are lucky like me your Dad is there to mark each. The graduations and young romance and marriage. The grandchildren and passing of seasons.

The secret of course is that he had his passages too, the ones we each face as we first mature and then decline...The moment we know we've seen our last child born, when we see the child surpass the father, when first we see our partner give in to the physical decline that marks age and then when we see it in ourselves.

The wisdom comes in knowing that each passage is in it's own time right and proper.Those things we consider timeless are truly to us just slow...the Pyramids continue even now into dust.Though they will outlive us they are merely stone without feeling or care. We are each of us given a brief consuming flame of life and passion and ourselves are quickly consumed.

If a man wishes to be stone and timeless, still he will fail. We are meant to live briefly and to love. He has as have you,also. I mourn for you as I must for myself and all who live this fast life. Your Dad can't tell you after this passage but because I have read your words telling it I can...Michael,you have done well and your Dad is again proud.

[StreetKnowledge]

58. Hang tough, friend.

And always remember - the good will go to heaven, and he'll always be looking down on you with a smile on his face. The good never die. We just go into the heavens and then continue our work from there.

[hisownpetard]

59. Seems like he couldn't have had a better of more devoted son, from what

I've read on DU.

I'm sure he knows how much you love him, which will be the greatest
comfort of all (to both of you).

[graywarrior]

60. .

:hug:

[Old and In the Way]

61. It's tough to lose your mom and/or dad

We all go through it, but it doesn't make the personal experience any easier. Best wishes during this difficult time.

[catnhatnh]

62. Michael...

This is Dan Fogelberg doing "Leader of the Band". It says what every son wishes he said to his father. I hope it helps...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy3GHCy49Dw

[Berry Cool]

63. I'm sorry, Mike.

My heart aches for anyone in the process of losing a parent. You shouldn't have to fake anything.

Take care of yourself.

[roguevalley]

64. Oh Mike. I am so sorry. I came here when my Dad left and then ten months

later when Mom left. I was so crushed. This place helped me and I am glad it helps you. I don't know what to say except that I love ya. I hear ya. God bless you and your father.

[Liberty Belle]

65. I'm so sorry, I went through the same thing. Dad died a year ago tomorrow,

after a terribly long and prolonged battle with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease.

<<<hugs>>>

[bluedawg12]

66. I am so sorry Mike, my dads gone and mom is close to the end.

I understand.

[Vickers]

67. Sorry to hear it, Mike, my heart goes out to you. My dad died

8 years ago...he wasn't that great, but I still miss him.

[bertman]

68. May peace be his and yours, Mike.

[pleah]

69. I'm so sorry. Lost my dad two years ago.

I miss him.

[myrna minx]

70. My thoughts are with you and your family.

:hug:

[blueworld]

71. I'm very sorry, Mike

Our prayers are with you and your family. As Gandalf said, "Not all tears are an evil". It took years, but eventually I realized that my grief was also a tribute to my love for my parents. Keep posting when you need to hear from us.

[spanone]

72. just enjoy every minute he's here....i didn't know my dad was going to die (suddenly)

had i known, i would have said many things to him that i didn't have a chance to....

[Swede]

73. Tough days ahead,my friend.

Hang in there. My thoughts and prayers to you and yours.

[NashVegas]

74. So Sorry, Mike

It's never easy. All the very best thoughts go out to you.

[Ikonoklast]

75. No words suffice.

:hug:

[GardeningGal]

76. I'm so sorry.

My dad died 9 years ago today. I just realized that this morning. His last few years were difficult and while it was hard to lose him, I took a lot of comfort that he was done with suffering. Now I can look back and remember the fun times. Time really is the great healer.

[TwilightGardener]

77. Very, very sorry. Prayers for your dad.

[Iggo]

79. .

:hug:

[IndyOp]

80. I love you, Mike.

Please just keep hanging in there -- a brighter day will come.

:hug:

[tosh]

81. It was the toughest thing I've done in my life-to-date.

March 10 will make it 5 years ago. My dad was my best friend.
:cry:

May warm memories sustain you as they have me.
:hug:

[RiverStone]

83. Our only expectation is that you feel safe being real

No worries if your not in the mood to be positive --- life happens. We can be ourselves here.

Very sorry to hear about your dad, I hope he is at least comfortable during this very difficult time.

Take care of yourself too. :grouphug:

[Festivito]

84. We all get to die.

And no one will cheat you of your chance.

That was the cheerfully posed statement of the man who married my mom and dad.

On the radio plays "And the band played Waltzing Matilda" which sings: "there were fates worse than dying." Hyperbole perhaps.

We do die. I hope the passing comes peacefully. I have seen people dying several times, taking it well I'd like to add. The fight is strong, and when the fight can no longer be fought, they know, and all that is left is to sleep. And all the concern, and all the time you yourself put into their fight becomes a reward you feel in those sad days to come, that all is settled, and as you help those who survive with simple hugs and handshakes, you know, you, and all those around you will be alright.

It's not a bad fate. As chances go, it can be a blessing.