Vice Presidential Handlers Lure Cheney Into Traveling Crate

[krispos42]

Vice Presidential Handlers Lure Cheney Into Traveling Crate

January 13, 2009 | Issue 45•03

WASHINGTON—A team of nine specially trained handlers have successfully lured outgoing vice president Dick Cheney into a reinforced steel traveling crate in order to transport him back to his permanent enclosure in Casper, WY, official sources reported Monday. "He's a smart one. Once he sees the crate, he gets pretty nippy, but we've learned a few tricks over the years," chief VP wrangler Ted Irving breathlessly said while applying pressure to a deep gash on his forearm. "If we break a rabbit's legs and throw it in there, he will eventually go in to finish it off. Doesn't work with dead rabbits, though. Cheney only eats what he kills." Irving said that the latest vice presidential relocation went much more smoothly than September's diplomatic trip to Georgia, which was delayed for several hours after Cheney mauled three secret service agents and escaped inside the White House walls.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/vice_presidential_handlers

"The Onion" is getting weird today. Must be relief that real life will no longer be stranger than fiction...

:rofl:

[Happyhippychick]

1. "Cheney only eats what he kills"

:rofl:

[krispos42]

2. Explains shooting his lawyer friend...

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

3. My sister suspects that they're all drunk.

But this is hysterical!

[krispos42]

4. I think the neocons can stop stealing their thunder now

Remember, the Onion went from being a parody to being prophetic, which is damn scary!!!

[SemiCharmedQuark]

5. I imagine it like this:

[krispos42]

8. If I recall, the guards had tasers in that move.

Just saying... O8)

[Virginia Dare]

6. I hope that SOB went through a metal detector...n/t

[Ohio Joe]

7. bwahahahahahahaha

Too freakin funny :D

[krispos42]

9. "The Onion" is having a weird day today, looks like...

And, yeah, this is a shameless kick. :-)

[illuminaughty]

10. Oh, they've combined meds over there. Love it.

Did you see the one about Bush 43 dying peacefully in his sleep?

[krispos42]

11. Sure have...

It's been a weird day!

Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, good-bye!!! :woohoo: