The Palins need to read my recent blog entry.

[Pab Sungenis]

http://cnx.com/?p=990

An urgent plea to all expectant parents

Last night at a Christmas Party, everyone was suggesting baby names for our friends who are expecting twins.

This is a normal practice except for one thing. The father of said twins is named Bruce Wayne.

Yes, we call him “Batman.” To his face. He takes it in stride, too. Having that name, he has a firm grasp on one basic fact that many people in this world have a hard time coming to terms with:

Whatever you name your child, they are stuck with.

Of course, the roundtable was offering the obvious name choices for the twins. Richard Grayson and Barbara Gordon were my two favorites, and the most predictable. Some people in the discussion weren’t quite up to understanding the desire to name a male child “Robert” instead of “Robin.“

So this is my plea to all expectant parents out there. Please follow the expected trajectory of this couple when the topic of names comes up. Think carefully before you saddle your children with a life of ridicule or misery.

Here are a few basic suggestions to help guide you in your decisions.

More at the link, including 10 simple rules for what not to name your child.

[LisaM]

1. You're assuming a literacy rate among the Palins

that might be a reach.

Trip, or Tripp's, parents (I've seen it spelled both ways) haven't graduated from high school. Grams had to go to five different colleges. The First Dude can't explain why we should say snow machine instead of snowmobile. Why do you rate their abilities so high?

[Blue_In_AK]

5. Everybody calls them snowmachines here.

It's a local colloquialism that's been in use for as long as I've been in Alaska, since 1975. You can ridicule Todd all you want to, but the "snowmachine" thing is a nonissue.

[LisaM]

6. You already explained it better than he did

My issue isn't that he calls them that. It was his lack of ability to say something as simple as, "that's what we call them here". I say pop instead of soda, but I don't get into an endless loop of "pop is soda and soda is pop" if someone asks me why.

[Blue_In_AK]

8. Well, I don't think Todd is the sharpest tool in the shed,

as they say. Here's an interesting little piece by Phil Munger at ProgressiveAlaska about the first dude "Todd Palin - Alaska's Biggest FUCKUP Dad." http://progressivealaska.blogspot.com/2008/12/todd-palin-alaskas-biggest-fuckup-dad.html

[WyLoochka]

10. In the lower 48

Snowmachines make - well - snow and blow it onto ski slopes.

The vehicle one gets on in order to ride around on top of the snow via motorized power is called a snowmobile.

So there is an issue between us down here and Alaskans.

[Blue_In_AK]

11. If you come here and say snowmobile,

we'll know you're not from these parts -- and vice versa. Not really an issue, just a difference. Rather like frying pan/skillet.

And we don't really need a machine to make snow. Nature does just fine.

[XemaSab]

2. ALWAYS

Put "Doctor," "Senator," "President," and "Judge" before a potential child's name.

Candi Ginger is NOT going to win election to anything beyond "Miss Melons 2008" with that name.

[asdjrocky]

3. True, but she'll always be Miss Melons.

And they let you keep the shash and the crown.

[ColbertWatcher]

4. LOL!

Ma’queeshia Latwonda Lemonjello Tercel means nothing in ancient Zulu other than “my parents hate me.”

:rofl:

[Pab Sungenis]

7. Personally, my favorite one to come up with was

6. If the name would sound good with “Zappa” as its surname, avoid it.

[ColbertWatcher]

9. That's not fair! Everything goes good with Zappa! n/t