Erich Fromm on what love is and what it isn't

[usregimechange]

“Love is based on equality and freedom. If it is based on subordination and loss of integrity of one partner, it is masochistic dependence, regardless of how the relationship is rationalized” p. 161).

“The person who gives up his individual self and becomes an automaton, identical with millions of other automatons around him, need not feel alone and anxious any more. But the price he pays, however, is high; it is the loss of his self” (p. 186).

“The dynamic quality of love lies in this very polarity: that it springs from the need of overcoming separateness, that it leads to oneness — and yet that individuality is not eliminated” (p. 261).

Erich Fromm, Escape from Freedom

[The Magistrate]

1. It Never Ceases To Amaze, Sir, How Deeply Engrained As A Denigration Sado-Masochistic Terms Are

The number of people who would describe themselves as masochists is certainly much larger than the number who would describe themselves as homosexual, and yet people have no trouble at all trotting out old comments using the term as indicating a lesser sort of human being, not nearly equal to the rest....

[usregimechange]

2. Not sure what that means or why you said it, this was written a while ago

[The Magistrate]

3. Because Bigotry Against Any Sexual Minority Annoys Me, Sir, And That Passage Flames With It

It is Mr. Fromm's, of course, not yours, and is pretty typical of an old style of psychiatric thought. Be assured it is the actual author my comment is directed at, and not you. This is one area of the overall question people simply do not give much thought to, and readily accept received patterns regarding.

[usregimechange]

7. Your reading in your own feelings, he is not addressing sexual oreintation at all

[eridani]

8. Was Fromm referring to sex practices?

If so, I'm not seeing where he mentioned safe words.

[pnorman]

4. Here's another Fromm quote that may be appropriate here:

"There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as "moral indignation," which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue"-- Eric Fromm

pnorman

[The Magistrate]

5. That, Sir, is Very True

[pnorman]

6. An avid reader from early childhood, I had the GREATEST difficulty reading "Escape From Freedom".

I'm not sure what the hang-up was, but it was quite a few years later that Fromm finally got through to me. Here's one of the above quotes that I'll turn into a fridge magnet:

"The person who gives up his individual self and becomes an automaton, identical with millions of other automatons around him, need not feel alone and anxious any more. But the price he pays, however, is high; it is the loss of his self"

I've been a "left-libertarian (aka: "anarchist") for most of my adult life, and such expressions really resonate with me. Okay, here's one "anarchist" who voted for Barak O'Bama with his eyes wide open, and who will cut him enough slack (ie: trust his judgment during) his First Hundred Days! So pile on me, if you will!

pnorman