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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 10:41 AM
Original message
Gina at MichelleObamaWatch.org on Tom Joyner
Gina from MichelleObamaWatch.org had a great interview on Tom Joyner the other day. She also blogs at Blogging While Brown. Gina is a feisty woman, vibrant and smart. She doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to defending Michelle and is certain to have her back every step of the Obama Presidency.

She turned most of her attention on the recent controversy over Michelle’s decision to devote her time to parenting in the next 4 years. I am not surprised that there is yet another round of the mommy wars, but apparently an upscale stay at home black mother is adding a new dimension to the debate. As much as working outside the home was a hard-earned right for white women, devoting 100% of your attention to your children remains a hard-earned right for black women.

Gina responded to an editorial by Jolene Ivey, wherein Jolene talks about the disapproval she faced when she chose to leave a promising career with Ben Cardin, now a US Senator. Motherhood, she says, “is considered a waste of education by many in the black community.” It isn’t clear whether it’s due to the desire to rise out of poverty or the need to leave behind a disdain for the “mammy” caricature that is prevalent in Africana art. Black women, says Jolene, “tended their owners’ children, while not being allowed to lavish such attention on their own.

Then she makes the mistake of implying black women let their children “fend for themselves”, which rightly set Gina off. The very core of the mommy wars is that children cannot possibly be raised properly except with 100% attention from the female parent. I was particular surprised to see this slander put on black women in the midst of an article comparing the work environment between white and black moms. Do white women who work let their children “fend for themselves”? Or did Jolene not even think of the silliness of the comment in that light?

http://www.obama-mamas.com/blog/?p=119
http://www.michelleobamawatch.org/

Listen here:

http://players.eonstreams.com/FastAim/Player/Player.php?PlayerID=419&MediaURL=http://reachmedia.wmsvc.vitalstreamcdn.com/reachmedia_vitalstream_com/120908/JACQUE.wma
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goclark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 10:46 AM
Response to Original message
1. I am African American and I'm sure there are many views
within our community on the priorities for the lovely Michelle.

In my view, she is more than able to handle every facet of her new and exciting life.

She made her family #1 during the campaign and I know they will be her first priority now.

Bravo for Michelle and for all mothers of every race!

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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 10:49 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. I'm white, I agree
completely. I am more interested in the cultural difference this decision has brought out, never knew it existed.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 10:53 AM
Response to Original message
3. I think she would be a better example by working the next 8 years showing
both young girls and boys that a woman provides for herself and her children regardless of what her husband does. Of course it's her decision but I just think working gives a much better message.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 10:55 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Why didn't anybody expect Laura Bush to work? n/t
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:03 AM
Response to Reply #4
6. I did, her and Hillary as well. They both had a responsiblity to provide for their children.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:11 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Post please.
I don't recall you ever making that criticism of Laura Bush. Can you find any mainstream discussion of her not working? There may have been something in The Nation, but I don't remember any expectation that she be a role model of the importance of work.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:23 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. How am I to post a thought I had? I wasn't expecting Laura to work, I did expect Hillary to work
and was very disappointed when she didn't. I don't know how to post that either, other than just saying so. I don't expect Laura Bush to believe a woman has a responsibility to provide financially for her children.

It's far past time that a female presidential spouse step up and provide that role model for America, Hillary and Michelle have been our best chances to do that and they have both failed.




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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:26 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. Parenting is valuable
It isn't necessary to "work" to be a valuable and contributing member of society. Our country would be in serious difficulty without the volunteer activities of parents that "don't work".

You didn't expect Laura "to work". Exactly.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:28 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. I didn't expect her to provide for herself, knowing the way republicans think about the value of a
woman. Not because I don't expect that of people, just know her shortcomings as a person.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:35 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. Parenting isn't as valuable as "real work"?
Is that what you're saying?
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:42 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. You seem to be saying people who provide financially for their children while raising them are not
parenting.

My parents both worked and both did an excellent job parenting. When one has a child they have a responsibility to provide for that child, neither gender or marital status relieves a parent of that responsibility.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:50 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. That's what Jolene Ivey said
Black women leave their children "to fend for themselves". Is that what you parents did? Why aren't white mothers accused of abandoning their children like a pack of wolves?

Do you seriously not understand what sahm's do?
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:57 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. My parents each fulfilled their responsibility to provide for their children, I can't see what race
could have to do with it.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 12:19 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. Did you try?
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. Did I try to see how race has anything to do with a person's responsibility to provide for their
children? No, did not. And I will not.

A person's responsibility to provide for a child they brought into the world is not determined in any way by their race, gender, marital status, sexual orientation or anything else.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 12:34 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Sad
What are you afraid of?
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Orsino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #3
27. I can't really argue with that...
...but those girls are going to lose their daddy (partly) for the next four-to-eight years. I think more mommy will be better for them; there will be no second chances to raise them right.

It is a trade-off, though. By doing what is presumably better for their daughters, the Obamas will tacitly support the patriarchal model of the nuclear family.
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NashVegas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:00 AM
Response to Original message
5. It's Not a Popular Sentiment Here
Edited on Thu Dec-11-08 11:01 AM by Crisco
But kids tend to do much better in life when they have a stable, supportive, ADULT family member to come home to every day. Personally, I don't care which parent it is, but I've seen the difference with my own eyes. There's no way I'd criticize MO for choosing to focus on her family for the next four years.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 11:13 AM
Response to Reply #5
8. Apparently the sentiment for black mothers
has been that they need to work otherwise they are lazy welfare queens. On top of that, educated black women are expected to work and move up so they can be role models, give back, etc. There's no room for the luxury of staying home, that's more white privilege. That's the point of the discussion.
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NashVegas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #8
19. I Get *Their* Point
Yours, I'm not so sure of.

When I was growing up, no one in my family ever called our middle-class, black, next door neighbor "lazy" for being an SAHM, and no one ever called the single mothers, of any color, in the projects around the corners for being SAHM welfare mothers.

That shit all came in the 1980s, when Republicans used it as a tool to get Welfare mothers out of the house and into the minimum-wage workforce.

You asked if white women were letting their kids fend for themselves? Well, my answer, based on personal experience, is a resounding OFTEN, but not always, YES. Does the blame fall on that one person? Absolutely NO. Observing a fact does not require condemning anyone.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 12:51 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. I'm repeating "their" point
I wouldn't know the point existed if I hadn't read it. That's *my* point.

If it is not your experience that African American mothers worked at a higher rate, then that is worth nothing. If it is also not your experience that there was any stigma attached to AA SAHM's, whether on welfare or not, that is also worth nothing.

I'm also a little confused at your belief that kids do better when there's a parent at home, and then turn around and say women are letting kids fend for themselves. What am I missing there?



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NashVegas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. I Apologize
For posting in your thread.

Laters.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 01:11 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. This is pathetic
You seriously can't have a discussion about how women are treated differently in different cultures?

Unbelievable. Whatever.

Shove your phony "apology".
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Caliman73 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 01:27 PM
Response to Reply #8
23. Agreed
I believe that is why we saw the rise of 3rd Wave feminism. White women had fought to get out of the home and into the labor force as a sign of equality with men, but women of color have historically been expected to work outside the home for economic reasons. From what I read and learned about 3rd wave, the point of divergence was around "white privilege" where women of color were looking at wage equality, sexual harassment, and other issues they had already been dealing with, and White women didn't want to hear it. Regardless, it is Michelle's choice to do what she thinks is best for her family. I am sure the she and PE Obama have discussed the situation at length and are in agreement with each other. They don't seem to be the kind of people who really care in the end how they are seen by others as long as they stick to their principles. Just the fact that people are judging Michelle based on where she wants to focus her energies says more about the judges than about Michelle.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 01:33 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. 3rd Wave, interesting
Any particular reading you would point me towards?
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Caliman73 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 02:21 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. Here are some links
http://www.gwu.edu/~medusa/thirdwave.html

http://www.3rdwwwave.com/books/third.html

http://www.utexas.edu/utpress/books/santow.html

Also, specifically for women of color, the works of Cherrie Moraga, Gloria Anzaldua, and Audre Lorde, Angely Y Davis, and Bell Hooks.
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goclark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 02:35 PM
Response to Reply #8
26. I've never heard that sentiment expressed
in all my years of being an African American woman.

We have worked to help support our families and because we wanted to have opportunities to live our dreams to be teachers, lawyers or own our own businesses.

The term "Welfare Queen" is not the label that the average African American woman would even think about.

That term does a disservice to the millions of hard working African
American women that work in homes,are sales ladies, bus drivers.





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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-11-08 03:28 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. Just repeating what others said
Obviously the term welfare queen does a disservice to African American women. And if African American are working because they want to, great. They were clearly liberated long before white women were. I guess the commentary by Jolene Ivey and other black women is much ado about nothing.
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goclark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-08 11:23 AM
Response to Reply #28
29. It may be their view but I would say "Much Ado About A New Twist"

Just my view
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