Desperately Seeking Distraction

[20score]

Random Stacks, CEO of Rupert Murdoch’s Project For A New Lesser Media is under pressure to find a story that has no bearing on the health of the country and will last for months, if not years. Of course, he is not alone in his quest, but the majority of attention has focused on him and the media group he heads.

“What we’re asking of you reporters out there is to keep your eyes open for a story that contains a missing white woman or a celebrity that killed someone, those are the best,” said Random in the baritone used in his earlier days as a broadcaster. “But, you know the drill, it has to have the potential to last years. All of this – well, if you’ll excuse the expression – crap about the economy, war and the election has people paying attention to real news. Where’s Janet Jackson’s breast? OJ? Scott Peterson or even Natalee Holloway?“

“Now, now Mr. Stacks,” whined Geraldo Rivera. “It’s not like we haven’t tried, you know. What about Reverend Wright and Bill Ayers? Socialism and Joe the Plummer? You act like we haven’t done anything.”

“Yeah I know, good stuff but it didn’t have the staying power of a nipple at half time. We need something completely insignificant, maybe in the form of a question. You guys from Fox, any ideas?” said Random Stacks.

“How about, The Upside To Depression?” Neil Cavuto said. “Or maybe, Obama’s Marriage – Too Good For A Politician? Stuff like that?”

“An A for effort there Neil, but we really need a couple of years off of real news,” intoned Stacks. “Dig into the life of someone famous and make a story; time is running out here.”

“Maybe if we blame Iraq on Obama, Dean and Kucinich, that could work,” slobbered Rush Limbaugh. “We could make ‘em do congressional hearings and everything.”

“Now you’re thinking big,” said Stacks.

[ihavenobias]

1. Yes, the missing white woman!

I think Nancy Grace would be out of a career without them.*


*NOTE: Obviously these situations are tragic, but the fact is it's tragic when ANYONE goes missing or is murdered. So why do the Nancy Grace's of the world pretty much *only* cover stories about (attractive) missing white girls/women?

It really is emotional pornography.

[20score]

2. Exactly. With all the missing and murdered people during a given year,

why would they focus on one to the exclusion of all others?

[frankowen7]

3. I hope they don't get any ideas!

[snot]

4. is this parody, or is there a source?

[20score]

5. Parody, or, if you prefer, satire.

[20score]

6. But, Rupert Murdoch’s Project For A New Lesser Media. That's real.

[suede1]

7. "The Upside to Depression" LOL

[Indi Guy]

8. I got it! - Get the dirt on the prosecutor who indicted Cheney & Gonzales?...

:shrug:

[Suich]

9. LOL!

This is entirely believable! It doesn't even sound that far-fetched!


:rofl:

[20score]

10. Thanks, Suich!