Join me in protesting against DU!!

[Patriought]

That's it! I've had all I can stands, and I can't stands no more!

That's Right! I'm calling for a protest against DU, and their sadistic torment of "Top Ten Conservative Idiots" Junkies, such as myself!

Now, I sympathize with the esteemed Mr. EarlG, having a child is a stressful and time-consuming affair, (I've had three-my wife helped a little-myself)

But, that's just too darn-tootin' bad. "'Tough titty', said the kitty when the milk ran dry" as the saying goes. Daddy needs his Top Ten fix, and he needs it yesterday!

I'll bet with the election and all the other stuff that's happened Mr. Earl, you have Conservative Idiot anecdotes jammed up in your brain like a fecal impaction- and twice as nasty. So. If you can't get off your lazy, bottle sterilizing, diaper changing, late-night feeding, job-working, household chore-doing tail on your own...I, along with my like-minded Top Ten Junkies, are prepared to compel you to do so...

I am calling for a ban. A ban amongst the Top Ten faithful who have been more than patient! Who have been more than understanding!

Forthwith, I propose a ban on...Shaving!

That's right, Shaving!

Let it be known forthwith that until EarlG gets busy, we will Not SHAVE!
Yessirreee!

Let 'ol Earl pick up a copy of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, and behold the supermodels with armpits that remind one of Iranian mullahs' facial hair, and legs that haven't seen a razor in weeks.

Let's see how long you hold out when the guy serving Mrs. EarlG her burger at McDonald's looks like he plays in a ZZ Top cover band, and she finds an 11 inch long beard hair in her fries!

That's right, Big Shot! Unless you pony up with the Top Ten, I'll bring the wrath of the tresses down on your head! Anarchy will reign, and beard will flow!

The ball's in your court, Sunny Pop.











(Just Kidding, Earl. Hope everything is going well with the new baby. I appreciate your work very much, and look forward to reading it again in the future.
Respectfully yours,
Mark)

[Heidi]

1. Uh-oh. This could get hairy. (nt)

[Skittles]

2. "my wife helped a little"

scheduling Patriought for a remedial ass-kicking :7

[Contrary1]

3. This thread is useless without pictures:

[unhappycamper]

4. Shit.

I just shaved off my mustache. :(

[zeemike]

5. Oh that is good...

Put the workers that make razor blades out of work.

[rucky]

6. I'll be in charge of the port-a-potties.