Welcome, youbetcha, to the DUzy Awards, a compendium of star-spangled amusement from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!
The DUzy Awards will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.
Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD. Special thanks to WakeMeUp, Patiod, Commie Pinko Dirtbag, dixiegrrrrl, Tallison, DinahMoeHum, ColbertWatcher, Heidi, Peake, intheflow, Vickers, wryter2000, TahitiNut, gordianot, prodn2000, Gilligan, Kurovski, blondeatlast and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance with this edition.
On edit: :fistbump: :fistbump: :fistbump: OP by jazzjunkysue: Sarah Palin 2012 SlogansLet's help her out. Come on, DU. She'll need a lot of help.
How about:
Palin-Joe 2012: Yes, We Might, Charlie.response #3 by Demeter:
Sarah Palin: In Your Heart, You Know She's Unfit for Officeresponse #32 by obiwan:
Slight modification- "In your heart, you know she's far right."response #11 by stahbrett:
"I know that I know that I know how to be President!" (nt)response #6 by Starbucks Anarchist:
"I Can Also See Canada!"response #7 by Earth Bound Misfit:
Can't think of any off the top of my head...I'll try to find some & bring 'em to ya.
response #10 by blondeatlast:
Save Neiman-Marcus! Palin 2012. ntresponse #13 by Ken Burch:
"Palin: Dressed for ...er, what exactly?"response #16 by NRaleighLiberal:
Palin 2012 - Bad in 08, worse now!response #17 by Earth Bound Misfit:
Palin 2012: She Doesn't Run with the Pack......She Shoots Them
response #19 by beac:
"Don't be a Stinker, Vote for the Winker!";)
response #20 by Blue For You:
Palin/Buchanan 2012: The Barracuda and the Large Mouth Bassresponse #21 by Swede:
The Audacity of stupid.Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Nightmare.
response #23 by Historic NY:
Palin..I don't need a wardrobe for 2012.response #24 by NV Whino:
Palin 2012In What Respect?
response #26 by O.M.B.inOhio:
Palin '12: Keep the E in Potatoeresponse #43 by Whisp:
Presidentin' and Stuff.response #44 by Captive America:
Palin 2012--Juneau You Want To!response #51 by leftofthedial:
Sarah the Candidate.response #55 by MilesColtrane:
Sarah™-from God's freezer section to your table in minutes!Palin '12...The Phrozen, Pheisty Phoenix Rises.
Snowlita 2012- c'mon America...you know you want it!
Send Sarah Palin to Washington - cuz there's like nothing left to steal in Alaska.
Moose, Deux
Palin 2012- She's pale, rested, and ready for a new wardrobe.
Trigger, Willoo, and Piper too!
President Sarah Palin-who needs geography when you've got Jesus on speed dial?
response #58 by BerryBush:
Sarah Palin: Because Dumb Is the New Smart.response #59 by amb123:
Palin '12, A Leader, not a Thinker!:hi:
response #63 by mitchum:
"Palin: Still Crazy After All These Years!"response #66 by carnie_sf:
Sarah Palin 2012 Supported by Democrats everywhereresponse #73 by paregdem:
2008 Was Just A $150K Dress Rehersal...Look At Me Now!response #74 by frickaline:
Palin 2012 - Now with MAPS! /ntLots more tundraful ideas...
GDP, November 8, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7833618 On a thread by ncteechur: Did free republic dry up? Just went to their site to watch them fall apart andI think they actually did. I kept getting redirected to another search site.
response #7 by IWantAnyDem:
Obama has taken Jim Robinson to the camps:evilgrin:
response #10 by JoFerret:
Yes he didHe has melted their guns and spread their wealth and now they are all plumbers.
response #14 by JoFerret:
CheersThe poor freeperfolk do seem to be in meltdown mode. Must be so uncomfortable spreading wealth in lederhosen.
response #22 by JoFerret:
Doors are being knocked on as we speakDawn raids are scheduled for Monday morning.
A special camp has been set up in Idaho to hold the most dangerous for the duration.
They will be force fed pork rinds and fattened up.
They will be made to listen to Maria Callas and the Village People at top volume and taught how to be interior decorators.
Hundreds of immigrants and black people will be bused in from the big cities to watch them pick the arugula.
GDP, November 8, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7833190 OP by bob_weaver (and his mom): This should make you laughThere was a brief news story this morning showing Sarah Palin talking about the clothes again. "The RNC forced me to buy them bla bla bla."
My 90-year-old mother was watching and said, "Who is she?"
I laughed and said, "It's Sarah Palin. Remember? The election last week? She was runnning for Vice President."
She said, "What is she running for now, the border?"
GDP, November 9, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7835675 OP by Old Crusoe: So I says to my optometrist, "Doc, I think there's something wrongwith my eyes. I looked at the electoral map this week and Florida and Indiana were both blue."
response #1 by FLDem5:
"and the sight keeps making my eyes water"response #2 by NRaleighLiberal:
He said "you must have used Obama. It gets the red out!"GDP, November 9, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7838733 On a thread by Strawman: How do you think LBJ would handle Lieberman if he were Majority Leader today?response #1 by htuttle:
I think LBJ would pick him up by his ears and dangle him in front of reportersresponse #2 by DinahMoeHum:
Take Joe by the hand to his new office - a broom closet.:evilgrin:
And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.
GD, November 10, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4430469 OP by LynnTheDem: A shout-out to Al Pacca, my teddy bear! Al has prevented any terrorist attacks on US soilsince 911!
Yes, George W. Bush has made us all less safe since he ignored all the warnings and didn't protect us on 911;
-His illegal invasion and slaughtering of Iraqis has increased Al Qaeda recruiting and made more of the world detest us
-Our military is stretched to breaking point
-Airport security is actually worse now than it was prior to 911, and received a failing grade by the GAO
-Port security is practically non-existant
-Border security has been drastically under-funded, millions of dollars wasted...for no improved security
-George W. Bush cut first-responder funding by $612 million...feel safer?
-Chemical plant security; bush cut all them evil-doer "safety regulations".
-Rail and transit security...ummm, what "security"? Good question.
Anyways, as difficult as George W. bUsh has made it to keep America safe from another 911 attack on George W. Bush's watch, my teddy bear, Al Pacca, has kept us all safe from another 911 attack.
Yes, I can prove it was Al Pacca, teddy bear, that has kept us safe from another 911 attack on George W. Bush's watch;
There hasn't been another attack on US soil since 911.Go ahead, freepers, disprove that one.
Rightwingnuts (especially freepers); dumbest MFers. Ever.
GDP, November 10, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7839574 On a thread by RamboLiberal: Victoria's Secret: Formaldehyde in Bras?"The secret is out for one of the world's most recognizable lingerie brands, according to a potential class action lawsuit in which consumers claim they've experienced very uncomfortable symptoms, like rashes, hives and permanent scarring from Victoria's Secret bras..."
response #10 by TOJ:
Heidi Klum's cleavage makes me pass out. Could it be the formaldehyde?:shrug:
LBN, November 11, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3596827 OP by philboy: That is NOT a woolly mammoth in my drivewayThat is NOT a woolly mammoth in my driveway
That is NOT a woolly mammoth in my driveway
That is NOT a woolly mammoth in my driveway
That is NOT a woolly mammoth in my driveway
*Opens eyes again.....it is still there...
*Closes eyes again...
That is NOT a woolly mammoth in my driveway
That is NOT a woolly mammoth in my driveway
That is NOT a woolly mammoth in my driveway
That is NOT a woolly mammoth in my driveway
That is NOT a woolly mammoth in my driveway
response #2 by Bertha Venation:
Doot, doot, doo, lookin' out my backdoor:)
The Lounge, November 11, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8228099 On a thread by byronius: Barack Obama has read Democratic Underground.I'm certain of it. I wonder what posts made him click?
I'd love to find out he has an anonymous username, someone we all know.
Someone who once posted something really cool.
I'd believe it.
response #3 by dwickham:
grovelbot!:bounce:
response #19 by grantcart:
I just wish he would quit posting the "DU this PBS Poll" alreadyresponse #28 by sofa king:
All right, I'll admit it.I am not Barack Obama.
response #37 by Nasprin:
I am sure he receives a daily briefing about what is going on in the Lounge:-)
response #42 by BlueDogDemocratNH:
If he opposes an Olive Garden bailout, we'll know for sureresponse #41 by BlueDogDemocratNH:
Walt Starrresponse #57 by last1standing:
Tellurian.:rofl:
response #64 by DesertedRose:
Perry Logan!;-)
response #51 by grantcart:
Barack Obama = The MagistrateThink about it. You know its true, Sir.
response #53 by yodermon:
president elect *AND* a DU Moderator???no fucking way.
response #54 by grantcart:
It's his community serviceGDP, November 11, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7852096 OP by Husb2Sparkly: I never heard of the name "Saxby" before.Does anyone know another Saxby?
Is it an out of favor old name?
Is it in the same category as Trig, Bristol, Moon Unit, and Dweezil?
A name of the Old South like Beauregard or Chauncey?
response #1 by halo experiment:
I believe its swahilli for 'white supremist'response #13 by Warpy:
Really? I thought it was an obscure Wampanoag word for "asshole."Still, it's a family surname somewhere in his genaeology, somebody his family were proud enough to stick him with that kind of silly name.
I call him "Sackless."
GD, November 11, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4440137 On a thread by babylonsister: Why Did ICE Head Julie Myers Resign the Day After the Election?"Less than twelve hours after the results of last weeks' election were announced, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced Wednesday that Julie Myers, assistant secretary of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), is leaving the agency by November 15...
Myers leaves amid speculation that she was the source of the leak to The Associated Press about the status of Obama's undocumented Kenyan aunt only a few days before the general election. According to Rolling Stone's Tim Wilkinson, Myers' precipitous departure the day after the election and less than a week after the information on Obama's aunt was leaked is likely no coincidence..."
response #1 by SalmonChantedEvening:
She wanted to spend more time with her family attorney.:D
GD, November 12, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4444120 On a thread by chimpsrsmarter: Thanks but no thanks Palin, Michelle Obama doesn't need your advice on her childrenand fuck you Wolf Blitzer for even asking Palin "If she had any advice for the future first lady".
response #1 by Midlodemocrat:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's with the hostility? I, for one, wantthe halibut and salmon casserole recipe.
response #10 by hvn_nbr_2:
Sarah Palin giving child-rearing advice to Michelle Obama is like...Aw, c'mon folks. I can't think of the perfect zinger here but surely someone can help.
response #12 by Arctic Dave:
Asking Jeffrey Dahmer for cooking tips.response #19 by Raschel:
Like Frank Sinatra asking Sanjaya for singing tips, like Tiger Woods askingGerald Ford for golfing tips, Like Halle Berry asking Phyllis Diller for beauty tips, like Bill Gates asking Hammer for financial tips.
response #23 by chimpsrsmarter:
Like Julia Child asking Rachael Ray for cooking tips.it had to be said.
GDP, November 12, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7857835 On a thread by BridgeTheGap: NBC's Brian Williams calls Mars Phoenix Lander "brave" ???response #1 by impeachdubya:
It's not only brave, it's horny.It was hoping for a date with Viking I, but it's totally far away.
response #5 by bahrbearian:
I heard that they had to drag him Kicking and Screaming to the Launch Vehicle.response #20 by Crankie Avalon:
That's nothing......last night he called his wife's vibrator a "sneaky little bastard."
response #30 by deutsey:
To show you how awake I am, my first thought was "Who the hell is Mars Phoenix Lander?"I thought you were referring to some celeb I hadn't heard of.
Need more caffeine. :hangover:
response #33 by MilesColtrane:
Is it brave to be thrust into a harsh, corrosive environment where there's no intelligent life?Just ask Obama after January.
GD, November 12, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4445830 On a thread by gordianot: Sarah Palin is still on the news live spouting her usual crap.response #2 by DS1:
Eh. I'm giving the media a pass on this oneJohn McCain brought a mix between Tarzan and King Kong out of the jungle, it's a curiously stupid yet sociable beast. It doesn't mind flashguns, cannot climb any buildings of note, but does have the capacity to fling poo and wear heels at the same time.
GD, November 13, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4453224 OP excerpt by WilliamPitt: I love Sarah Palin with all my heart.I love Sarah Palin. Keep it coming, governor. You are my hero. Palin 2012: Cuz Duh You Betcha!
response #30 by Disturbed:
Palinese:"Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that."
response #48 by Jacobin:
Reminds me of William Faulkner with a brain tumorresponse #50 by mikeytherat:
Apparently, the yellow has her by the electric brain banana.:crazy:
response #32 by jmondine:
Palin Yesterday: "(Sen. Clinton) broke glass ceilings left and right"... um, those are called walls; and they're the best indicator that you're living in a GLASS HOUSE, Sarah!
And see below for two Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.
GD, November 13, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4455893 OP by TorchesAndPitchforks: Obama team leaks Grovelbot for Secretary of MarijuanaObama May Be Considering Grovelbot For Secretary Of Marijuana
By: NY1 News
CNN is reporting that sources close to President-elect Barack Obama's transition team say DU mascot Grovelbot is one of several candidates being considered for secretary of marijuana.
However, a source close to Grovelbot told NY1 Thursday that the master fundraising machine has yet to be contacted about that, or any other cabinet position.
A Grovelbot spokesman told CNN any speculation about the icon having a part in the upcoming Obama administration should be addressed by his transition team.
The Obama team also mentioned Grovelbot as a potential vice presidential candidate but never actually discussed the position with it because it is incapable of responding to input.
Grovelbot is scheduled to appear all week on the DemocraticUnderground web site but will not be answering queries regarding nomination rumors.
GDP, November 13, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7864977 OP by cryingshame: Admit It! Go Ahead. You Didn't Vote For Obama & Secretly Wrote In On The Ballot"Paris Hilton"
response #2 by Jackpine Radical:
Well, she just made so damn much SENSE! Anyway,how did you find out? I thought we had a secret ballot in this country.
response #3 by cliffordu:
How did you know that?? I've been lying to Wetzelbill all this time......response #4 by new_beawr:
No, Lee Mercer......response #7 by IWantAnyDem:
Lee L. MercerAll three.
response #5 by nichomachus:
You mean I wasn't supposed to -- but that's what the flyer I got in the mail said to doShit
response #9 by Oregonian:
I wrote in: "Tutch the But"response #10 by MrCoffee:
I went to vote on the 5th, like they told me to, and no one was there!GDP, November 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7867041 On a thread by underpants: Jogger Runs Mile With Rabid Fox Locked on Her Arm"Authorities in Arizona say a jogger attacked by a rabid fox ran a mile with the animal's jaws clamped on her arm and then drove herself to a hospital. The Yavapai County sheriff's office said the woman told deputies she was on a trail near Prescott on Monday when the fox attacked and bit her foot.
She said she grabbed the fox by the neck when it went for her leg but it bit her arm.
The woman wanted the animal tested for rabies so she ran a mile to her car with the fox still biting her arm, then pried it off and tossed it in her trunk and drove to the Prescott hospital..."
response #4 by Alter Ego:
Erm...how the fuck do you run a mile with a rabid, snarling animal clinging to your flesh???response #6 by GTRMAN:
I've done itbut to no avail, I wound up getting married anyway :(
:D
GD, November 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4460779 On a thread by wryter2000: How do I turn GD: P back on?I turned it off during the primaries and would like to turn it back on again.
response #1 by Fran Kubelik:
take off your shirt?response #2 by XemaSab:
And why do you think this is a good idea?:shrug: :hide:
response #5 by HypnoToad:
Rub up and down against it while speaking soft nothings into its ear?Which is almost like GD-P except most people instead scream loud nothings and jump up and down...
response #14 by ben_meyers:
I think you have to log in backwards andwhen you hear "Turn Me On, Dead Man" do a ctrl alt delete then answer continue.
response #20 by prodn2000:
CTR + ALT + DELIf you want a soda, just hit the "Tab" key.
GD, November 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4463254
OP by radfringe: ***RADICAL FRINGE TOON*** Sun 11/9/08 **spit take advisory in effect**GD, November 9, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4421599On a thread by Strawman: How do you think LBJ would handle Lieberman if he were Majority Leader today?response #6 by meegbearGD, November 10, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4430469OP by Ichingcarpenter: Well you knew they would make a BookGD, November 12, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4450858OP by zulchzulu: National Enquirer photo secret revealed (now we know why it's hard to figure out photos)GDP, November 12, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7856795OP by Breeze54: O.M.G!1!1! It's a FULL Beaverresponse #5 by Tallisonresponse #15 by achtung_circusresponse #17 by ColbertWatcherresponse #21 by renie408response #22 by Breeze54GD, November 12, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4449026On a thread by meegbear: GLBT - check in please!response #32 by DU GrovelBotGLBT, November 12, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x90764On a thread by Jamastiene: BREAKING NEWS: Grovelbot is GLBT. He just came out!response #17 by wryter2000response #38 by Sebastian Doyleresponse #45 by dixiegrrrrlresponse #51 by bluedawg12response #52 by Generic OtherGD, November 12, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4448174On a thread by n2doc: Toon: Republicans at the crossroadsresponse #4 by gratuitousresponse #6 by zbdentGD, November 13, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4452860On a thread by WilliamPitt: I love Sarah Palin with all my heart.response #27 by Junkdrawerresponse #57 by Swamp RaGD, November 13, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4455893On a thread by Stuart G: Steven's Pollster, " Race is Over..Begich will win."response #25 by larissaGDP, November 13, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7862618OP by zulchzulu: Joe The Plumber book released just in time for Christmas!response #1 by WI_DEMresponse #2 by underpantsresponse #3 by KurovskiGDP, November 14, 2008:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7869741