Thank you DU, and What I've Learned about Compassion since Wednesday, and Sorry

[Mike 03]

I thought I was a fairly compassionate person. Like everyone else here, I was elated by Obama's victory. Then I was upset and shocked to see so many posts regarding the gay marriage propositions.

"Why aren't you celebrating?", I wondered. "Yes, it's not like we all wanted it to turn out, but look at what we've won??"

Then, in reading the outpouring of emotion, and then last night watching people take to the streets, I had a change of heart. I realized that my feelings and opinions about this were quite superficial. I tried to put myself in the shoes of others. What would it feel like to have a "law" tell me that my love for someone else was not worthy, not serious, not acknowleged, or somehow inferior to anyone else's?

It would make me feel like s*&t. It would bring up all sorts of dark, horrible feelings.

That's why I began to understand that these propositions were not even sincere. They were hypocritical and shallow, and just meant to hurt a group of people. My marriage ended in divorce. Half of all heterosexual marriages do. There's nothing particularly sacred about marriage.

To deny this right to anyone is simply cruel. Unconstitutional, but also just cruel.

I'm only sorry I didn't realize this earlier. So even though I have not really participated in this debate, I indict myself for not caring enough. I was just wrong. This would be a HUGE issue to me if I were Gay or a Lesbian person.

It's something we can't just dismiss as frivolous. It goes to the core of who we are and what we believe about the definitions of "freedom", "equal" and "rights."

And I apologize from the bottom of my heart for not realizing this sooner.

[UnrepentantUnitarian]

1. Nice post, Mike!

[Ian David]

2. It's not too late to help. The fight still goes on, and they need donations

http://www.eqca.org/

[KitchenWitch]

3. Great post, Mike!

I am giving some money (we do not have much to give) and a lot of my time to fight for equal marriage.

In my humblest (well maybe not so humble) opinion, Inequality in Marriage Rights is Immoral.

[readmoreoften]

4. Thank you. It's also a significant financial burden on couples and families.

According to a Gay and Lesbian task force report 40% of latino lesbians have children. Imagine a family situation where the birth mother works part time and has no insurance and her partner works full time and cannot insure her spouse or her spouse's child. Or in some rare cases she can, but that insurance is considered "added income" that she'll have to pay taxes on at the end of the year creating a financial burden of thousands of dollars.

This is more than many working class lesbian families can bear.

[NAO]

5. I predicated my celebrations on the defeat of the hate measures

In the weeks leading up to the election, I told my wife and our friends, "Americans are scared and they may elect Obama out of fear and a desire for change. If you want to REALLY see how "progressive" America is at this point in time, watch those ballot measures in FL, AZ, and CA."

Everyone celebrated the victories, but I knew in my heart that while we prevailed in the election, we lost on the values issues. And as much as I mock the values voters, I guess I am one too.

I sort of envy those who can just revel in the electoral victories, but even though I am straight and white and male, I have never been unaware that these are all accidents of birth, and that I could have just as easily been born into a situation where I would be on the receiving end of hate.

[Cults4Bush]

6. Compassion through empathy.

I taught my born again RW parents about this in Dec 04. They talked a lot about compassion and were quite sincere about it. They would then say lots of mean nasty lies and near bigoted things about GLBT marriage. Would use a bible to back them up. I spent every argument we had earnestly trying to "be them". They voted for Obama :D

Dont ever stop!

[Mike 03]

7. My other post on this topic kind of beat around the bush, I guess.

I just feel for everyone who is gay or lesbian more than I can express right now.

I finally get it.


Just know that some of us do, and that we love you.

[bobbolink]

8. PUtting yourself in the shoes of others is a necessary component of understanding.

It's also something that is done very seldom, including here at DU.

I appreciate your recognizing this, and hope this becomes a big trend!

Thank you...

[Mike 03]

9. Kicking not for ego but just to make amends and apologize.

This bothered me all day.

[Downtown Hound]

10. The true mark of wisdom is the ability to learn

Congratulations to you and thanks for your post.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

11. Let us take the compassion and tolerance out of it. We are talking basic civil and human rights.

The reason I say that is,...face it,...compassion, tolerance, civility,...are simply no longer strengths American people (in general) embrace AT THIS TIME.

So, we must speak of the laws pertaining to basic civil liberties and human rights. Otherwise, the multitudes of self-proclaimed "moral" minutemen (tied into the powers-that-be) will fire, over and over and over, again.

Apologies associated with emotional identification are unnecessary and fruitless. No one need apologize for taking a stand against violations of LEGAL civil and human rights.