Trying to decide if I should talk to my California relatives about Prop. 8.

[Kitty Herder]

I am adamantly opposed to California's Proposition 8. I feel it is morally wrong. I live in Utah, though, so it's not something I'll be voting on.

However, my brother and his wife live in California and will be voting in the upcoming election. They're Mormons, so I'm sure their church has pounded into their heads that allowing gays to marry will bring about the end of civilization as we know it. I feel that I have some moral obligation to speak to them on this issue. Perhaps having someone in the family voice opposition to Prop. 8 would give them reason to think about it.

But I don't want to start a fight or create a rift between myself and them. My sil and I have trouble getting along anyway. So I have the possibly conflicting moral obligation to preserve family relationships and not cause a stir.

Any advice?

edited to add: My sister-in-law takes offense extremely easily. That's the biggest concern I have in talking to them about this.

[wryter2000]

1. Can you e-mail them?

However you communicate it, state your position calmly. For me, the main issue is that GLBT isn't a choice. Once you accept that, the necessity for equal rights in everything is a no-brainer.

[Kitty Herder]

7. I've already decided email is the way to go.

Even that makes me nervous. Maybe I'll just email my brother, and leave his wife out of it. I dunno. That woman scares me.

[Cronus Protagonist]

2. Sure, tell them to take off these tight undies and get a life

I think the compression on the testicles causes idiocy.

[Kitty Herder]

4. LOL

Actually, they've been to the temple, so they wear veerry loose undies.

[Cronus Protagonist]

12. So that's why they all have boners for this proposition!

They need to get their special undergarments tightened up a bit so the chafing doesn't cause boners at inappropriate times.

[Ian David]

3. We need everyone involved. n/t

[AlCzervik]

5. my sil is a total freeper and there already is a rift between us and if she did live here

in Ca. we would never see each other. She told me the wall street crash was because of "Barney Frank giving everything to the gays" yes she said that. I don't want her around my daughter and yes i told her that and my husband totally backed me up.

[plaintiff]

8. Well shit, I missed out on Barney's largesse!

Where's my piece of that pie?


:grr:

[Kitty Herder]

11. Seriously?

That doesn't even make sense. :crazy:

[AlCzervik]

14. i wish i was kidding, she's been calling me about 4 times a week with her rw bullshit

and i got sick to death of hearing from her and on Sunday i finally said "Gin either shut the fuck and listen or stop calling" and she didn't shut it so i hung up. Anyhow my husband gets home and i tell him "Expect a call from Virginia, she'll be whining about me" and she called, ran the same exact bs by him and he told her she was ignorant and he was disappointed in her.

She is also convinced that my nephew didn't get a scholarship because of some "Mexican" when the truth is that my nephew didn't have the sat scores to get that scholarship but of course that's not his fault, it's the fault of "the Mexican".

There is a generation gap between us and her, she's 62 and i'm 41.

[Kitty Herder]

16. Yikes.

At least my sil isn't that bad. She usually keeps here right-wingnuttery to herself around me. You have my sympathies.

[AlCzervik]

18. They get worse as time marches on, believe me.

Gin has always been a republican but in the past 4 years she's really gotten a little nuts so i just decided that was it, no more and i love her 2 kids dearly and i speak with both of them all the time. I owe her nothing but the kids i have a vested interest in.

[NNN0LHI]

21. I wouldn't let her around my children either. Not even for short periods of time

You did the sensible thing.

The woman could very be dangerous.

Don

[AlCzervik]

22. well she also 3000 miles away or we do---for a reason. I've been married for 17 years

after taking her shit for years i just reached the breaking point with her, i no longer care what she thinks or feels about me or if i ever see her again which i sounds way harsh but that's just the way it is. I always tried with her too but she just never stops talking long enough to listen to anyone.

[plaintiff]

6. You could say something like "It just doesn't seem American to amend a constitution

to take AWAY rights..."
:shrug:

[Kitty Herder]

10. That's a great response.

Thanks for that.

[Cerridwen]

9. Oofda! Tough one.

What about - if the government can decide whether or not gays can marry, what's to stop them from deciding who or how Mormons can marry? (mix and season to your taste. :D )

Since that's already happened in LDS history, perhaps they will at least stop to think for a moment?

[Kitty Herder]

15. For some reason, every Mormon I've talked to here in Utah fails to see the connection.

It baffles me that they are so gung ho about keeping discriminatory marriage practices alive when their ancestors were victims of similar discrimination.

[Cerridwen]

17. I sometimes wonder if it's a case of - "ha, ha. Now it's your turn!"

Oh well, it's just a thought. I'm afraid I've got nothing better for you except - Good luck! Whatever you decide to do or say.

[Kitty Herder]

19. Sometimes it does seem like that's what they're saying.

Thanks for wishing me luck.

[ismnotwasm]

13. Yes, please do

It won't change their minds, but the time of being silent on this matter is over. You can present it in a non threatening, conversational manner, leaving the choice to be offended up to them.

[diamidue]

20. Nothing you can say will matter.

If they are that heavily into their Church, they will follow the Church's lead. If they want your advice, and solicit it, then you can tell them how you feel. Otherwise, I wouldn't interfere. Just my opinion - based on trying to convince my own sister and sister-in-law of something long ago....