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Some of you people are being very rude to the concern trolls, and it's driving a wedge between us and the concern troll community, and it's going to cost us the election. I know that every single one of you, despite your false bravado, is absolutely terrififed, just pants-shittingly horrified over the neo-classical architecture of Obama's half-finished DNC stage. Don't you know anything about Rovian traps? Don't you know anything about half-finished superstructures? Thank god a rebel pilot didn't take out our power generator, but it's still probably going to cost us the election. And the Bradley Effect? Just because something doesn't exist it doesn't mean you shouldn't be afraid of it. Did you think about the effect where people will tell pollsters that they'll vote for the guy whose VP text message announcement was scooped by the media several hours before hand, but when they get in the voting booths they'll decide they won't vote for the guy whose VP text message announcement got scooped by the media several hours beforehand? No? Well you should have, because it will probably cost us the election.
Did Neville Chamberlain let his backbone get the better of him? No! Did General McClellan not give up when he had superior numbers? NO! Franklin Roosevelt said the only thing to fear is fear itself. But he didn't say anything about concern. Besides, that jerk almost ruined the election with his polio stunt. Sure, you could argue that Obama for the last two years has been running the most successful presidential campaign in modern history. But what does he know? He's black! He's named Hussein! He's fathered to black children, and he keeps shoving them in our faces! He didn't run my idea for a campaign commercial. The kids love Punch and Judy these days! If Obama read the e-mails I keep getting from my white supremacist best friends and keep forwarding to everybody, I know he's be concerned too.
Oh, sure. I know what you're all thinking. We've been hearing from these concern trolls since January, and they haven't been right about anything once this whole time. Wrong! We've been hearing them since 2006, when they told us making an issue about Mark Foley would drive a wedge between us and the gay community, giving the Republicans a landslide congressional victory. Well, that didn't happen but it totally maybe could have. When you take all of the things concern trolls get wrong, statistically speaking, and divide by zero, the chances of something ruining this election are, like, infinity. So for crying out loud. Be nice to spineless cowards who don't know shit, and many of whom are just here to disrupt anyway.
Ninny supermen are our superiors.
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