***Breaking Report: Election May Come Down To Single Candidate***

[Ichingcarpenter]

WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the New America Foundation,
the race for the presidency could potentially culminate in exclusive victory by
a single contender.

"Data from the last 55 consecutive presidential elections strongly suggest that, come Nov. 5,
one person and one person alone will assume the coveted title president-elect,"
said political analyst Lawrence O'Donnell, the report's main author.

"We had assumed this election would be determined by a number of different factors
—Jewish voters in Florida, blue-collar workers in Ohio,
or dissatisfaction with the economy, for example—but the data were conclusive:

This race is going to boil down to one man." O'Donnell added that the contest
could very well hinge upon winning a majority of the electoral college votes
apportioned to the 50 states and the District of Columbia.


http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/report_election_may_come


Just in case you didn't know this breaking news

[spanone]

1. gotta love the onion

[Canuckistanian]

2. What an outrage. Where's the inclusiveness?

Somebody should call a Congressman right fucking now or something.