TOP SECRET - But I think you should know...

[Are_grits_groceries]

What Are Grits?

Nobody knows. Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are harvested by midgets by shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around them. Many people
feel that grits are made from ground up bits of white corn. These are obviously lies spread by Communists and terrorists. Nothing as good as a Grits can be
made from corn. The most recent research suggests that the mysterious Manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their time in the Sinai Desert was most likely Grits.

Critics disagree, stating that there is no record of biscuits, butter, salt, and red eye gravy raining down from the sky, and that God would not punish his
people by forcing them to eat Grits without these key ingredients.

How Grits are Formed.

Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure. It takes over 1000 years to form a single Grit. Most of the world's grit mines are in
South Carolina , and are guarded day and night by armed guards and pit bull dogs. Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit miners lose
their lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served morning after morning for breakfast (not that having Grits for lunch and dinner is out of the
question).
Yankees have attempted to create a synthetic Grits. They call them Cream of Wheat. As far as we can tell the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are Elmer's
Glue and shredded styrofoam. These synthetic grits have also been shown to cause nausea and may leave you unable to have children.

This is the truth. My Mama told me.

[pokerfan]

1. I had no idea!

:rofl:

[Greyhound]

2. I like well prepared grits, but we are in the minority. n/t

[dbonds]

5. Grits with lots of butter

and bonus if you find a lump stuck together in your serving.

[SpiralHawk]

6. What ya'll need is some True Grit

"Hell, even I wouldn't vote for the pathetic pack of republicon wannabes at this stage of the game. They are too stinking full of lies and corruption. Tarnation."

- Duke

[alfredo]

3. I always thought they were the Larvae of Hominy.

[Are_grits_groceries]

7. LOL! nt

[southernleftylady]

4. I thought they were Girls Raised In The South? no? lol nt

[Bake]

8. Mmmmm! Grits with red-eye gravy!!

Now that's what I like about the South!

:hi:

Bake

[watrwefitinfor]

9. What, no country ham and red eye gravy?

Then eat 'em with shrimp!
Yum.

Wat

P.S. Brilliant post!

[Winterblues]

10. Grits was what us Yankees called southern people in the 60's

I suspect some still do.

[NutmegYankee]

11. Mmmmm. Elmer's Glue and shredded styrofoam!

I'll take that with a Coffee Milk and a clambake.

[malaise]

12. Can I tell you a secret

I really tried to eat grits in the Bahamas - they live on grits, but I hate all cereal and grits tasted worse than corn flakes and I really hate corn flakes. My mom told me I rejected all forms of cereal since I was four months old. Yuck!! :D

[Are_grits_groceries]

15. Since you're not biased, you get a pass. I am the Grits Monitor! LOL nt

[timtom]

13. Man! Wotta story!

Absolutely superb!

And I loooove grits.

[medeak]

14. LOL glad you're not lurking here any more! n/t

[trof]

16. Let me explain grits.

1. They are a way to preserve corn so it can be kept, without refrigeration, almost indefinitely. This was a very handy way to store up victuals in the rural south.

2. How they are made is somewhat akin to lutefisk.
But grits are actually better.
Well, not as bad.
Google 'grits' and you'll see how they are processed.
And you'll wonder who first figured that out and how.
Kind of like the guy who actually worked up enough courage (or was starving) to first eat an oyster.

3. Grits are virtually tasteless.
They are a 'conveyance'.
If you like melted butter, grits are an excuse to not just drink a bowl of it.
Same for red-eye (ham) gravy.
And of course for yankees, sugar and cream.
(yuck)