BREAKING: St. Louis No Longer Part of America

[FourScore]

BREAKING: St. Louis No Longer Part of America
by ThinkItThrough
Sat Oct 18, 2008 at 04:59:29 PM PDT

Word is breaking tonight that after 100,000 people turned out to hear Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama today in St. Louis, the city has been expelled from the "Real America".

Under sunny skies and the world famous arch in St. Louis, 100,000 formerly patriotic Americans turned out to witness Senator Obama's visit to the Show-Me-State. It turns out that this was the fatal mistake made by St. Louis, as large parts of the United States are being carved out after supporting the Democratic ticket to vigorously and excercising open minds.

Democratic Mayor Francis G. Slay was crestfallen after receiving the news. "We used to be considered real middle America and a bellweather for American's attitudes."

Some in St. Louis have floated the idea of joining with Northern Virginia, also expelled today. Late word was breaking that Indianapolis, Indiana, may suffer a similar fate, as well as Durham, North Carolina, all of California save the Governor's mansion and the Reagan Library, and large parts of the Northeast.

The McCain-Palin campaign reacted to the news with enthusiasm. "Any time over 100,000 people come out to see Barack Hussein Obama speak, they're likely to be socialists anyway." A McCain advisor speaking on condition of anonymity expressed relief that the votes of St. Lousi wouldn't be counted in the upcoming election. "Things weren't looking so good there for us, but now that only the real Americans in Missouri will be voting, we're pretty confident."

President Bush, the nation apparently splitting this weekend, could not be reached for comment. Aides said he was busy clearing brush on his ranch in Crawford, which will remain part of America despite being represented by Democrat Chet Edwards.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/10/18/191821/75/826/634809

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

1. Not satire.

[Ichingcarpenter]

2. The People's Socialist Republic of St. Louis has been well known for years

as place where people wore Red in favor of their so called 'teams'

[Xipe Totec]

6. The People's Republic of Cambridge Mass says Welcome!

:applause:

[Kerrytravelers]

3. bwwwaaaahhhh... snort... bwwwaaaahhhhh... woohooo... bwwwwaaaahhh... snort...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Faygo Kid]

4. Ding, ding, ding went the trolley. Clang clang clang went the bell.

Zing zing zing went my heartstrings. From the moment I saw him I fell.

No, not American at all.

[BlueJazz]

5. They just wanted to see him before he fades into Oblivion.

[Captiosus]

7. You know, if all these American cities are not "real" Americans

And leave, the "real" Americans would have maybe 2 Major League Baseball teams, no National Football League teams, maybe one or two National Hockey League teams...

Us "fake Americans" would be the Socialist Confederacy of Major League Sports States!

:rofl:

[malaise]

8. That's why they call it the

World Series - to accommodate not 'real Americans'.

[stillcool]

9. Massachusetts must be the most...

anti-American state in the country. We've been anti-American for so long we have a bunch of landmarks claiming our anti-Americanism.

[undeterred]

10. I was afraid it fell into the Mississippi and got washed away.

[Jack Rabbit]

11. News Flash November 4 11:59 pm PST

OBAMA WINS 57.8% OF POPULAR VOTE
McCain Condedes Defeat
US Expelled from "Real America"