Endangering Choice

[babylonsister]

http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/20081016_endangering_choice/

Endangering Choice

Posted on Oct 16, 2008

By Ellen Goodman


NEW HAVEN, Conn.—Do you remember the New Yorker cartoon showing a couple in their living room reading the newspaper? “Gays and lesbians getting married,” reports the husband to his wife, whereupon he adds, “haven’t they suffered enough?”

This was an arch and ironic commentary on the image of a beleaguered minority actually trying to break into an institution.

Last week it happened again. Connecticut became the third state, after Massachusetts and California, to let homosexuals break into the institution of marriage. The Connecticut Supreme Court ruled that even in a state with civil unions, separate wasn’t equal. Anything less than marriage violated equal protection laws.

This ruling was greeted with cheers from couples who had sued for the right to marry. Among them were the two women, mothers of adopted twins, and two men, one of whom proclaimed cheerily, “We can now register at Home Depot and prepare for marriage.”

I am fully aware that same-sex marriage is a polarizing issue and an engine for backlash. It’s back on the ballot in three states this November, including California, where couples are rushing to the altar before they can be de-married. But Connecticut is a good reminder of how fast attitudes toward gay rights have changed. And how fast the public image of gays has gone from San Francisco flamboyance to suburban sobriety. The fear-mongering of the “Gay Agenda” is now the wedding registry at Home Depot.

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Moreover, the narrative of same-sex marriage ends with the sound of a champagne bottle popping at a wedding. An abortion, on the other hand, may be followed by an assortment of emotions, but certainly not joy.

Because we rarely see real women, it’s easy to forget that one out of every three American women has had an abortion by the time she’s 45. As Karlan said, “Look to your right. Look to your left. One of you has had an abortion.” Because we rarely hear from women, it’s easy to forget that over half those women already have children and are making their decisions in that family context.

Abortion was legalized on the grounds of the right to privacy. And so it remains private. But the more private it is, the more we think it only happens to someone else, someone “unlike us.” The more unlike us she is, the less public support there is for the right. Abortion rights slip away as the woman slips out of sight.

Here is the conundrum in the closet. For all the lingering opposition to same-sex marriage, being gay is losing its stigma. Having an abortion is being more deeply stigmatized.

Look to your right. Look to your left.

[Ohio Joe]

1. K&R - nt