I have family who have been acting like the Republicans at this week's rallies

[Trajan]

They have been absolutely vicious in their wild eyed rhetoric .... over the edge crazy ....

Foaming at the mouth right wing nuts in Denver and the Ozarks ....

I have redirected their emails to a dummy account (I don't want to delete my normal email account), and I refuse to take their calls .....

It is sad what is happening to half of our country .... They act like the right to control government is theirs alone, even if their party has royally FUCKED UP .... They lost the right to govern. no matter WHAT Rush says ....

I love my siblings, but I'll never tolerate being their punching bag .... Their frustration is not my problem .. It is theirs ...

I can tell many DUers are going through this as well ...

[ReadTomPaine]

1. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this...

I don't have a solution, just understanding.

:hug:

[Trajan]

5. Aww ... that is very kind ....

But I have experience in these matters .... Emotional detachment is learned over time ....

I am not enmeshed, and they do not control my feelings .... I reluctantly but resolutely shut the door because they have left the reservation ....

It is always regrettable when family divides like that, but they make their choices, and verbally attacking ME because they are frustrated with the shitty campaign of McPalin is unacceptable .... Period ...

[ReadTomPaine]

14. Turning families and friends against one another is a GOP hallmark...

It's what they do best, next to theft.

[snake in the grass]

22. And murder.

[SammyWinstonJack]

35. And plunder.

[CoffeeCat]

15. I cut off my family of origin....

...five years ago, but my reasons went beyond their political insanity.

I do know what this feels like. And I'm sorry. It is painful.

You sound very, very healthy. You said that you are not enmeshed, and that they do not
control your feelings. Then, you have made it to the top of the mountain. That's the
goal--with families like this. To have autonomy and boundaries that you recognize, and
that you feel you deserve.

Even if someone else in your family doesn't respect your boundaries--which is a behavioral
hallmark in dysfunctional families--you know you deserve them and you know what to do to
keep yourself safe.

I applaud you--for taking care of yourself and for deciding when and how much contact you
will have.

I have learned in life--that when people get out of control--that there is nothing wrong
with saying, "I have decided to take some time away from you, because this feels unhealthy
for me right now. I'll contact you when I am ready."

In fact, it's a beautiful thing--to be able to do that. A good friend would understand if you
needed some space or time to be alone, sort out your mind, etc. Only a manipulator and someone
who doesn't have your best interest at heart---would make you feel guilty or ashamed for taking
care of yourself.

Again, I applaud you. You sound very, very healthy. That's....truly amazing when you come
from an enmeshed, dysfunctional family.

Pay value to yourself--for what you have accomplished in your personal growth. :)

[Trajan]

21. Yes indeed .... I cut the puppet strings long ago ....

I did come from a dysfunctional family (who didnt ?), and it took some growth to recognize the folly of letting others dictate your own feelings. I eventually read 'The Family' by John Bradshaw, and it was an eye opener for me. It helped me sort out what was expected of me and what I should expect from others ..... Setting up proper boundaries is key to resolving those issues, and that is one of the highlights of Bradshaw's approach to a 'healthy' self and a 'healthy' family.

In the end: we are only responsible for ourselves .... It is up to us to set up the boundaries that will keep us sane and safe. I have been UNmeshed for over a decade now .....

I love them, but I am not their emotional slave ... If they start acting out with me, then it only makes sense to show them the door ....

It's nice to connect with you on that stuff .... I am glad you recognized the work involved ... It took considerable effort and time to work it all out ....

:hug:

[roguevalley]

56. sweetie, hang in there. it will die down when they see him making

the country better and things get better. HUGS!

[BrklynLiberal]

2. Stay strong. You are not alone.

:grouphug:

[Just-plain-Kathy]

3. I had an argument with a neighbor today...he thinks Bush has done a good job, and McCain's "the man"

It gets so frustrating. I remember loosing a lot of friends during the '04 elections. I wish I could just keep my mouth shut and not care.

[Why Syzygy]

4. I already went through that 4 years ago.

I wouldn't put up with it then. Now the ones I speak to are saying they, "don't like anyone this time". huh
I'll never let them off the hook for Bush without some heavy duty repentance.

[Trajan]

8. We had a 'No Political Talk' rule in the past ...

for this reason .... It didnt make sense to argue to the point where brother and sister cannot talk to each other .... but they suddenly started sending RW emails to me, along with their alarmed statements, much like what we have been hearing at the McCain-Palin rallies ... ugly rhetoric culled from the most vicious sources on the right ...

I warned them to stop, and that just enraged them .... I finally just cut them off, letting them know that was it ....

Sad ..... but I would rather keep it real with them .... I am ok with that ....

[ginnyinWI]

6. I'm going through it too--but we have a truce.

We agree not to discuss politics. It's the only way for my dad to stay calm. He's 80 and I don't want him to become more agitated than he already is from his rw radio programs.

[Trajan]

9. We had that rule ....

We had it for more than a decade; but they suddenly BROKE the covenant ...

I let them know this was a violation of our rule, and they apparently are SO pissed off they didnt care ....

Fuck'm ..... I will survive better in a Democratic world ....

[ginnyinWI]

20. Yeah my dad still breaks the rule from time to time, sending emails

usually right after he hears a load of crap on the radio, and thinks it is the perfect argument to convince me that I'm wrong. He continues to shock me as to how low he will go, but now I'm prepared. I just think to myself, "Temporary Insanity" and let it go.

You know they've got nothing when they can get so angry. They're frustrated and feel helpless. Now they know how WE have been feeling for eight years!

[Why Syzygy]

49. Once during the 2004 race,

my mother forwarded me an email from my sister and others, you know, they fwd like viral... It compared Hussein to Kerry. The pukes haven't grown up any, eh? So, I asked her, what did that mean? It was the lamest, most juvenile innuendo I've ever laid eyes on. She just said real fast, "oh! I shouldn't have sent that to you! Just delete it!" haha .. Can't answer the question though. She tried early on to claim Obama is a Muslim. I told her repeatedly, he is not.

They all suffer the same brain fever. They need to snap out of it!

[karmaqueen]

19. RW radio is the problem for many people.

Somehow hate radio shows are able to do something bad to some people. When KDKA in Pittsburgh sold their soul to hate talk I saw a few people move to the dark side. I was in shock when I found out but they kept quoting some idiot who talked to them on the radio.

[sutz12]

7. Keep in mind, it is not half of the country.

The real nutjobs have never really been much more than a third or less of the entire populace.

Hold that thought. They are NOT a majority of us.

[Vickers]

10. Wait: thrice-married Rush? The one with the $24,000,000 Palm Beach mansion?

The one with the fucking ass pimple that he used as an excuse to get out of the service?

The fatboy who bones underage boys in the Dominican Republic?

The drug-addicted douchebag?
.
.
.
.
.

That one?

Yeah, he rocks.

:rofl:

[Swamp Rat]

11. Send them gift wrapped white robes and pointy hats.

They'll get the message.

I have people like that in my family. If they send me shit like that or speak that way around me, I have no mercy on them.... I hit back WAY harder than they do.

[Vickers]

13. I fucking love you, man.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[Swamp Rat]

18. Have some crawfish pie

:hug:



:9

[CoffeeCat]

16. O.....M....G

I am laughing so hard at your "Hate Talk Express" image.

I'm practically wheezing!!

My husband is sitting here at the table with me, going, "What? What?"

Then, I show him the computer and he starts laughing and practically suffocating too!

:rofl: Oh my gosh....I'm just....it's so good!!

Loved the robe idea too! Too funny.

[Swamp Rat]

17. Finished this one a few hours ago:

:D

[UpInArms]

33. perfect!

:applause:

:yourock:

[Raster]

34. Aw Swamp Rat...You've given us visuals in your own particular style that say more than any verbal

commentary. Your work IS Democratic Underground. You ROCK, Buddy!:yourock:

[Trajan]

24. You know ? .. I think they would like those ...

They would certainly fit in with the idiots they connect with in their lives ....

And look: There is Crazy Margaret too .... She was just on CMT again .... (I really feel for her kids)

GREAT work Swamprat ....

[conscious evolution]

37. I laugh at them.

I have found that just flat out laughing my ass off right to their faces works really well.
I'm not talking about a polite little chuckle either.I am talking about full blown face splittin,stomache hurtin,knee slappin laughin.With a few "what an F'ing moron" or something along the lines of what a gullible idiot they are thrown in for good measure.

It really pisses them off.More importantly,it shuts them the fuck up.
Want to know why? There is no riech wing talking point to counter contemptous laughter.

[FLyellowdog]

12. So proud of how my daughter handles her repug friends.

She simply says,

"If you believe a 12 year old rape victim should bear a child, Ok.

If you believe that women should get less pay for working the same job that men work, that's fine.

If you believe that big oil companies and corporate CEOS should receive massive tax breaks at the expense of the middle class, not to worry.

If you believe that we should be denied affordable health care and reduced social security benefits, have at it.

Go on. Vote for McCain.

I, however, don't believe in any of those things and I'll be voting for Barack Obama because I believe he has a better plan for Americans."

And then she hushes. Most of the time she says so do the repugs.

[Trajan]

23. There are times to do battle ...

And fight bullshit rhetoric with facts and reasonable conclusions ....

But if you dont think you can gain any ground .... and if it only serving to increase your own stress without any benefit, then 'cutting bait' is better than fishing ...

I love discussing politics with those who straddle the fence ... but there is no personal benefit for me to go round and round with RW extremists .... I say 'Fuck'm' ... Let them stew in their own juices ...

Good on your daughter .... Mine have found a similar 'happy place' within themselves with their own political view .... I know your pride ....

[gratefultobelib]

42. Thanks for this line: "If you believe a 12-yr-old rape victim should bear a child." I get a

lot of pro-life stuff thrown at me.

[ColbertWatcher]

25. "It is sad what is happening to half of our country"

Right now, I think it's less than half of our fellow Americans who've lost it.

Don't let them make you believe their lies about how big their faction is.

[Trajan]

27. Wow .. the second post implying I haven't correctly ciphered ...

I rounded ..... Close enough for this thread ...

I recognize there are about 30% complete nutcases ... but I assume nearly half could be knocked off the reservation in one way or another, given the right line of BS ....

[ColbertWatcher]

28. Hey, you can round DOWN too!

I honestly don't think there is that many brain dead.

[Trajan]

54. Perhaps some of us are more optimistic than others ....

Perhaps some of us are not ...

[ColbertWatcher]

55. Perhaps. n/t

[prayin4rain]

26. it's ridiculous.. i think anyone who voted for bush the second time

has shown that they cannot be trusted to make such important decisions... they need to forfeit their right to vote in the future... they just have not shown to be responsible enough :)

[OutNow]

29. Yes, my BIL is a Limbaugh addict too

My BIL is a Limbaugh addict and one mean son-of-a-*&^%.

His emails about the election oozed hatred and racism.

I finally stopped his tirade in July. I told him that we were partners in the Obama campaign. For every email I received from him each month "we" would be donating money to help elect Obama. I set up a scale - 1 email = $50 up to 10 or more = $100. At the end of June I send him a nice email thanking him for sending 7 emails to me and that "our" donation to Obama would help him win the election. No emails since July 1. Priceless.

Oh - he also bought us a subscription to the Limbaugh letter last Christmas. I thanked him for that and donated money to the American Friends Service Committee in his name as a return gift.

Of course he thinks the economy is great thanks to Bush. I haven't asked him lately is he still feels that way, but I'm reluctant to kick the hornet's nest. I do know that he doesn't believe in asset allocation and was all in Growth Stocks.

[fudge stripe cookays]

57. Brilliant!

Wish I had thought of that. I had a 3rd cousin who kept sending me that crap, and I just kept responding with the truth.

No e-mails anymore, but it would have been nice to piss her off with a goal in mind.

[marions ghost]

30. I met somebody like that

recently and he tried to argue all that right wing radio crap (he had a coupla drinks and was relentless in spouting all the tired talking points). I just laughed like a hyena at everything he said. Didn't worry about rebutting, didn't lock horns. Really warm and friendly as I responded like it was all a ridiculous joke. Ha ha, you don't BELIEVE that crap, do you...? Ha ha.

I actually felt fine after this encounter. It's like the old Samurai lesson, "never allow the opponent's sword a place to enter..." Be ready for them. Have a strategy that works. Above all, NEVER EVER politely put up with it.

thanx for reminder of what we're up against in this, Trajan. It really is a tug-of-war. The stakes are too high to ignore it but you have to find away to protect yourself.
:thumbsup:

[conscious evolution]

40. Laughter is the best medicine.

I have yet to hear a riech wing talking point that can counter laughter.

[Festivito]

31. I refuted every point they made, now they don't talk -- to me.

They also did not say thank you after receiving copies of the actual sources refuting their points.

When you tell Republicans the truth, they prefer to believe the lie even more strongly.

[jimlup]

32. Take the high road

My experience in these matters is to take the high road. Suggest to your siblings that "you agree to disagree" and then leave it at that. Hopefully you can repair the damage they may attempt to do to the relationship at a later time.

Sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. The hard core right-wing really doesn't care about the country, they are willing to tear it apart in a tantrum.

[Raster]

36. The foot soldiers, the shock troops really do care about the country.

That's one of the ways they are being manipulated. Another is their fears.

The people who don't care about country, not at least the way you or I do, is the high command. And they are the ones with the most to lose. They are the ones that will be exposed for the liars, thieves and cheats they truly are. Take limpballs, do you think there would ever be a way he could admit he was wrong? NEVER! That would call into question all the hate and poison he's been spitting out for years. It would be a domino effect. And he knows this.

[yellerpup]

38. Wild-eyed, crazy...

I feel for you. My father started accusing me of being a secret communist when I stood up for civil rights in 1964 (I was 13). My mother slapped leather on her shoulder holster and threatened to shoot me in 1989 because I refused to agree (in front of all her grandchildren, my nieces & nephews) that Oliver North would make the best damn president this country ever had. I stopped trying to see them in person after that. I did go see my mom when she was dying in the hospital, but I waited until my dad actually died before I went to his funeral for the family's sake. So, I understand what it's like to be alienated from your family on principle. Well, I don't have parents anymore but I still have my principles and I wouldn't trade it back even if I could. Peace.

[progressoid]

39. Yep, I'm avoiding them as well.

Maybe after the election, I might see them - just to see them wallow in their anger and hate.

[ShortnFiery]

41. You're not alone. I can't even talk with them by phone until after the election.

:(

[complain jane]

43. The problem is that McPalin has allowed them to believe the terrorist bullshit

So now they feel justified in being ugly and hateful

They feel like they're doing their patriotic duy in destroying Obama

It's the most disgusting, vilest campaign I've ever seen

[wishlist]

44. Regretfully I have been going through this too, it is such a shame

My husband and I composed an email back in June (when we got the Antichrist email) refuting the ridiculous smears and telling all of the emailers that we wanted them to stop sending emails to us and we would do the same and not send them any more. (Before we had always ignored and deleted them). Our one email worked to stop all the emails until this week when we got several from one relative who was not included in the earlier email, so we politely emailed him back to remove us from his emailing which he responded that he has done.

It is such a terrible thing the way the right wing media and fundie churches' extreme misinformation and fear and hate has divided even the closest most loving families to the point that we cannot socialize or call one another without conflicts. Even at my brother- in- law's funeral, one of his Repub friends with whom we never had discussed politics but he knew we were Democrats, grabbed and ruined our memorial folders by writing down a right wing website and Go Bush and McCain on them. We even have close friends we are not calling or visiting right now because we don't want to hear their smears and be provoked into an argument we will all regret.

I had hopes early on that by picking McCain who seemed less extreme than the other candidates, their campaign tactics would improve but Repubs know they can't win on their merits so all they have left is destructive dishonest fear tactics to turn people against Dems. It is especially corrosive now though because they are trying to make the fear of terrorism directed in a personal way against Obama merely because of his race and ethnicity rather than his actions or policy stance.

[gratefultobelib]

45. I have cousins I grew up with and love dearly. However, I can't stand being around

them right now. I sincerely don't know what the future holds for our relationship, but I damned well am not going to change.

[complain jane]

46. I work for a non-Faux news cable news channel

My Republican uncle told me at a recent family picnic he hopes my place of employment goes under and that he'll laugh when it happens, because only Faux news is telling people the truth

I said, I'm your niece. You're getting yourself so twisted up with hate and politics that you're hoping I lose my job of ten years?

He laughs and said "it's only a matter of time!"

[marions ghost]

47. yep

politics can trump family....I had to find it out the hard way too

[The Backlash Cometh]

48. They associate patriotism with the Republican party.

And, until someone shows them that the roots of corruption have to do with this fanatical party affiliation, they won't change their minds.

[Franzia]

50. As I told my mother, "Families were divided during the first Civil War,

why would they not be divided now?"

And yes, I am also alone amidst a family of hardcore RWers.

I know how you feel. :hug:

[screembloodymurder]

51. Happening here too.

The McCain rhetoric is exploiting fear and pushing its base into violent confrontations. I'm receiving incredible email with messages like this one.
http://www.atlah.org/broadcast/ndnr09-03-08.html

[B Calm]

52. My right-wing, foam at the mouth, Oklahoma stupid cousins,

send me e-mail garbage all the time.

[Irishonly]

53. I Am The Lone Sane One In My Family

I hear you and it's tough. I am an only child but have always been close to my cousins. One in particular is a die hard neocon, Zionist and proud of it. The relationship has become more strained the past eight years but the proverbial shit hit the fan after the RNC. I let her have it with both barrels and called Palin an idiot. My family isn't speaking to me.

[barack the house]

58. A couple of tranquilzers and they'll be fine. Just go for walks visit friends it's only 3 weeks to >

go. It'll all calm down after that the game will be over.