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Hi
I was asked by Fox News to particpate in their viewer panel to watch last night's debate. I was paid $500 in FoxCash (for use at participating FoxStores - which seem to sell some weird stuff: I ended up purchasing a Bill O'Loufah and bath wash, Don't Block the Shot target, rifle and bullets - a great gift for my 5 year old, several copies of O'Reileys books - I am thinking of using them as doorstops, and a Sean Hannity paperweight shaped like a brain? hard to tell its really small, must be used for post-it notes).
With me was an African-American woman, ShaQuota Tokena, I think they said her name was...I'm not sure, those crazy Blacks with their ethnic names, like LaToya,Shaquille, and Osama...oops Obama (I get them confused!! Obama - Biden, Osama Bin Laden - its so similar). There was also an Oriental (or do they prefer to be called Chinese?) man (although he looked white to me... but O'Reilley kept calling him Pinh Hede), but he left early. He asked if he could have his $500 in Zimbabwe dollars because their economy is more stable and he was escorted out. He must have needed the money for a new car because when he left it sounded like a car backfiring or something. I knew he was joking... there aren't any countries that start with Z... we all had a good laugh.
We were told that represented a cross-section of America - I represented the Self-Centered Apathetic Taxpayer (they call me SCAT for short - isn't that cute? like cat with an s!) and we were given these hand-held controls and we were told to turn the dial when we agreed or disagreed with what the candidates said. I really felt bad for the US soldier recently back from his 5th tour in Iran (he really loves our country!), he arrived in a wheelchair and had lost an arm, both legs, and most of the use of his remaining hand. He was struggling with the dial, he kept trying to turn it up for Obama when he mentioned ending the war, a Fox staffer came to help but he must have been looking at it upside down because he turned the dial down for Obama when the vet wanted it up, and up for McCain when he wanted down. That brave vet left early too... can you believe his dedication?? Someone from the Army came and said he was up for another tour - when we pointed out that he was handicapped, the Army man said "His trigger finger still works". And Bless his heart, that vet was so excited to serve, he actually leapt out of his wheelchair and tried to fling himself onto a bus.
There was something wrong with my handset. Whenever I tried to rate that nice colored man high, I got an electric shock. I really liked what he had to say, he seemed very smart and so healthy! Mr. McCain I think had a mild stroke during the debate, he kept gasping and whispering, and seemed to have a hard time standing. But that time in the POW camp really gave him some moxie... he kept at it! He even made a couple of jokes - the economy can't be bad if he can laugh. I wasn't the only one who had a problem with the handset. There was one undecided, his name was Richard (or Dick as we called him) - he seemed a little grumpy and he looked familiar, who turned the dial so low when McCain mentioned that he and Cindy were going to buy up all the bad mortgages (how nice!), he got some type of shock. The Fox staffers said his pacemaker went bad - and truthfully he really did look bad - he paled considerably when that guy's car backfired and shouted "It wasn't me this time". Poor guy, he must have served in a war because that looked like some PMS or PTSD or whatever.
Because so many of the original panel members left (that poor Mexican woman looked so scared - she must have worried she was about to be deported. Her english was flawless, and I guess she is a professor of physics at the University. She said she was born here but you never know - they will say anything to steal our jobs), a few Fox interns came and took their place. A couple of the male interns must have had cancer (how brave!) because they were completely bald... ShaQuota called them skinheads... which I thought was cruel.
But I will say this, I like that McCain is going to lower our taxes. I am so tired of paying taxes on everything! I rated McCain really high everytime he said Obama would raise our taxes. Our government needs to stay out of my pocketbook and get to work on fixing our roads, improving our health care, and fighting the war on terror. They have the money, they just wrote a $700 billion check, I don't understand why my income tax matters - its nothing compared to what they spend. I have learned a lot about the campaigns from watching their informercial ads on tv. McCain is a maverick - not sure what that means - and Obama is a terrorist I guess. Well thats what that woman says, I saw a clip of her speech on the Fox News while I was getting ready to watch "Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader". I love that show - whoever says our education system is failing needs to watch that show!! Those kids are so smart - they beat me everytime!
After the debate, this SCAT is going to vote for "that one" - he just seemed to have a nicer smile and looked so nice. And you know even though McCain kept calling us his friends, he didn't stay very long to talk to us or shake hands. OOOps still got a tremor from the handset shocks...
And just in case you did not know this has been :sarcasm:
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