Rules Of The Vice Presidential Debate

[meegbear]

The vice presidential debate is scheduled for Oct. 2.

What are the rules of this debate?

• Candidates will be cued to enter as the laser light show subsides, and should be on stage no later than the intro guitar riff to "Living After Midnight"
  
  
• Questions can only be about Alaska
  
  
• No reflecting light from watch into opponent's eyes
  
  
• Each answer requires one piece of fluff or filler but cannot contain more than three
  
  
• References to Jesus or "God's will" limited to answers to questions about the economy, health care, education, and urban crime
  
  
• Candidates are forbidden from telling moving anecdotes about Marilyn Laybourn of Wichita, KS, who has three children and was laid off last May
  
  
• Everybody goes home with a PBS National Debate Participation Certificate
  
  
• The first candidate to seven sound bites wins
  

http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/rules_of_the_vice

[zbdent]

1. Joe Biden will be chained to the floor with jumper cables clamped to his testicles

and will only be able to answer questions in Latin ...